When You Lose Your Way
by SevenGee
Summary: “Granger, what's wrong?” I asked in worry. “What's in your hand?” And something struck me. “Have you been vomiting again?” She said nothing. She did nothing except hold up her shaking palm, her fingers wrapped tightly around a very blue pregnancy test.
1. Help Me Pull Through

A/N: Another story, from yours truly!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hogwarts, Draco, Hermione, etc.

Summary: "Granger, what's wrong?" I asked in worry. "What's in your hand?" And something struck me. "Have you been vomiting again?" She said nothing. She did nothing... except hold up her shaking palm, her fingers wrapped tightly around a very blue pregnancy test.

**xxxxxx**

**When You Lose Your Way**

Help Me Pull Through

**xxxxxx**

_Wretch, wretch, wretch. _

Holy Hell.

Honestly. How many times a day must this go on? The bloody woman's been doing that almost every morning for the past two weeks! I can't get a good morning's rest without her making those disgusting noises ten feet away. She hogs the bathroom for a ridiculously long amount of time, and leaves it smelling like dung. I can't stand living with this Gryffindor!

I was having a terribly bad morning. The hang-over I had from last night (and almost every other night) was killing my poor head. Every noise from the bathroom I heard made my head spin, and made the feeling of a dinosaur sitting on it worse.

I groaned angrily with my lips tightly shut together and checked the clock. It was the same hour as always that she did this. I should have been used to this routine by now.

I got up swiftly from my bed dizzily and walked over to the bathroom door, banging on it like a maniac.

"Granger, what the hell are you doing in there!" I yelled. I heard Hermione jump at the sound of my angry voice. She heard me alright.

Yet no reply.

"I don't know if you've got some hairballs stuck down your throat from that idiot cat of yours, or just bulemic, but it's way too early for this, so could you do me a favour and _shut the hell up?_"

I barely had enough time before the bathroom door swung open, Hermione standing there looking oddly composed. She did look rather pale, however.

"I'm truly sorry to have disturbed your beauty sleep Malfoy, but I had some bad pudding last night, so could you give me a little more than... oh, _ten seconds_ to get it out of my system?"

I humphed angrily instead of taking a threatening step towards her. If I wanted to get slapped in the face I would have done that by now. When I did so, her face flickered with fear for almost a second, before she took an involuntary step back. The frightened look in her didn't completely go away. I wasn't even that threatening.

"Fine then. Eleven seconds."

She snarled at me and shoved me out of the doors way and slammed it shut.

_Women._

**xxxxxx**

"Well don't _you_ look tired," Blaise commented on me, while shoving me in the ribs. I grimaced slightly, and propped my head in my hands.

"Do you blame me, considering I've been living with a nightmare?"

He laughed, and picked at his breakfast.

"No, I'm not talking about the Gryffindor."

I glared. "Then what?"

Blaise gave me a pitying look and patted me on the shoulder. I gave the spot where he patted me a disgusted look.

"Having some trouble getting over Pansy?"

I snorted. "Please."

He gave me a serious look. "You've been a miserable son of a witch ever since she dumped you mate. You can't honestly be denying that you miss her?"

I stabbed at my eggs and glared down at it. Taking the smart route, I ignored him.

He sighed, aggravated with me, and focused on his own breakfast. About damn time too.

I can honestly tell the truth, that I did not miss Pansy at all. Our relationship was completely for show, and only lasted thus far because of the - benefits - it had. I had no real feelings for her, I'm almost positive. But what surprised me when she gave me the boot, was that I actually felt _sad._ I came home, drunk with anguish, and brooded over the break up for weeks. It was a really bad time for me, considering the rumours that spread like mad.

While I was finishing up my sausages, three Slythering girls walked past Blaise and I, winking and nudging each other. Blaise and I were delighted.

"Ladies," Blaise said handsomely, as they walked by.

"Hi, Draco," one of them giggled. I winked seductively her way. "Any plans for tonight?" she questioned me.

"Well, now I do," I said flirtatiously.

"Oh... wait," she said, with mock sadness, "I heard you only date for show... and that you get drunk like a fool after a break-up! And only after two firewhiskeys!"

My handsome grin suddenly turned into a furious glare. This girl was treading on thin ice.

Her friend gave her an "Oh my god, I can't believe you just did that!" grin, and pulled her away from me.

"Woops, gotta run, Draco dear. You keep sober for more than a day, okay?"

And then she was off.

I was seething.

"Tramp," I muttered.

Blaise patted me on the back once again.

"Which is one reason why you would've shagged her, had she not said that," Blaise chuckled.

"She's so full of crock," I managed to say, without punching Blaise in the nose.

"Well, half of what she said was true. You were drunk most nights after the break up."

"Well, at least I would never be drunk enough to sleep with her," I spit.

"Shame," was all Blaise could say.

**xxxxxx **

Skiving off class is so easy if you think about it.

Well, as long as you have a Skiving Snackbox.

Not that I use it... a lot.

I was lounging around the corridor nearest to the lavatories, shuffling a deck of cards over and over again. History of Magic was never a class I wanted to continue, but my N.E.W.T.'s required it, if I wanted to be a sucessful Department Head of Magical Law Enforcement. Apparently, you needed to know the History of rules.

Solitaire was becoming more and more boring. I'd won my fifth game straight, and there was still a half our left in class. Apparently, I'd skived too early. The Fainting Fancy should have been replaced with a Nosebleed Nougat, I knew it. Perhaps next class I can try that one out...

And then I heard the noise I hadn't heard for weeks.

Could she be at it again? It had been so long since I heard it. The last morning she was doing this was so long ago, wasn't it? And wasn't she supposed to be in class? Why was she vomiting in the girls lavatories rather than in the privacy of her own common room?

My questions made me stand up and pack away my cards. I inched closer towards the girls lavatories, and hesitated at the door. I couldn't possibly walk inside a girls bathroom, could I? Granger would probably slap me across the face if she knew I was listening.

But it wouldn't be the first time she slapped me. So I shrugged, and walked in.

Hermione stood at a sink, her shoulders hunched over it, shaking tremendously. Her hands were wrapped tightly on either side of it, her knuckles almost white from the grip. She gasped when she heard the creak of the door and turned around, while wiping furiously at her mouth.

"Malfoy!" Granger shrieked at me. She backed off quickly, and took a lame defensive stand in front of a garbage can. "What are you doing in the girls lavatories!"

I cocked a brow. "I could ask you the same thing, Granger. Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Aren't _you?_"

I shut my lips tight. The Head Boy couldn't be caught skiving...

"Good question," I told her. "I wasn't feeling well. And apparently, neither are you," I accused.

Hermione went rigid and looked down.

"Bad pudding, again, I suppose?"

Hermione cleared her throat, and turned around in the sink. She looked up at me through the mirror while she turned the faucet on and began washing her hands.

"No, I don't think so," she said, with a hint of worry in her voice. I almost laughed at the dramatic edge she put in it as well.

"Right. Well, don't let the Head Boy catch the Head Girl skipping alright, Granger?"

"I wasn't _skipping - _"

"Tell it to someone who believes it Granger," I said in a sing-song voice.

She glared at me angrily, and hunched her shoulders. She still seemed to be in a defensive stance, and that surprised me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I questioned her.

"What?" she asked me innocently.

"You make it look like I'm about to attack you or something."

Hermione flinched inconspicuously, and walked quickly over to a stall.

"Well, who knows, you a_re_ a Slytherin. Now if you don't mind, I'll be doing my business. And you seem to forget you're in the girls lavatory. Please, leave?" she asked me. It almost sounded like she was pleading.

I shrugged, not wanting to push the matter further.

"Whatever. Class ends in thirty minutes," I warned her. "Don't be late."

I took my leave, and opened the door to get out. I heard Hermione wince at my last words.

"I already am..." I thought I heard her mutter.

**xxxxxx **

Lunch in the Great Hall was always a fun time for me. There was always something that happened before, during, or after classes that was exciting, and gossiped about throughout the House tables. The fun thing for me about it was the gossiping of course. Us Slytherins gossip like birds in a tree.

I was on my way into the Great Hall, looking forward to some juicy news, when someone bumped into me. It was two sixth year Hufflepuff girls that I hardly knew. They walked in front of me, blocking my way to my table, but I didn't mind. They were talking hurriedly in furious whispers to each other in a happy way.

"Is it true?" one of them asked the other.

"Yes! I got the owl during class. Mum's got a bun in the oven!" I cocked my eyebrow. Her Mom was baking?

The other girl squealed. "I can't believe it! How did she find out?"

"Well, of course she was _late,_" she said matter-of-factly. The word was eerily familiar to me.

"And, and?" her friend urged.

"Her morning sickness! That's why Dad called St. Mungo's! He thought Mum was ill or something, but now we know she's not!"

"This is amazing, Wendy! Let's go tell the rest of them!"

And they scurried off to the table beside the Slytherin one, no longer whispering.

I took my own seat at the Slytherin table all alone, waiting for Blaise. I took the time alone to contemplate. Being late? I never understood these womenly things. Late for a doctors appointment, I suppose? A bun in the oven... how confusing. And morning sickness? I knew that was vomiting. Maybe her mother had the same symptoms as Granger...

"Oi there, mate," Blaise said, taking a seat beside me.

I raised my eyebrows in greeting towards him, and continued to think.

"What's up?" he asked me, while piling food onto his plate.

I wasn't paying attention. "...Huh?"

He laughed at me. "Pansy on the brain?"

I glared.

"No."

"Well then why does it look like you're constipated?" he asked me while laughing. Honestly, I had no idea how I could befriend someone who always had a snarky comment every second.

I gave him a fake laugh. "Oh ha-ha. Do you know that Wendy girl in Hufflepuff?" I asked him quickly.

Blaise arched his eyebrow. "That blonde Hufflepuff girl? Yeah."

I nodded a few times.

"She's pretty and everything, Draco, but I think you could do a little better," he said suddenly. I gave him an incredulous look.

"You think I want to shag her?" I asked him, the surprise evident in my face. He looked confused.

"Well why else would you ask about her?"

I wacked him across the head very hard. Blaise gasped, and rubbed the area where I hit him angrily. He punched me in the ribs in return, and went back to his breakfast, all the while staring daggers at me.

"Her mum apparently has a bun in the oven," I told him.

He choked on his food. "At _her_ age?"

I shrugged. "Well, yeah. It doesn't matter if you're even eighty, does it? Anyone can do that."

Blaise looked at me, as if someone just told him his Mother wasn't a tramp.

"Maybe, sure! But I would hate to picture that!"

I looked at him, confused. Why did he look so appalled at my question?

"Why? What's wrong with having buns in the oven?"

"One is good enough, trust me, mate," Blaise said confidently. "They're a handful when they grow."

"But one is hardly enough." He dropped his mouth in front of me.

"Well, my stomach wouldn't be full enough," I explained to him.

Blaise's mouth reached the floor. "_Your _stomach? Mate, it's not even possible!"

_What in the world? _Anyone could bake buns. He continued to look at me, incredulously surprised, and dropped his fork onto his plate with a loud clatter.

"Alright, I've lost my appetite."

Why? They were just buns.

I raised both my eyebrows. "Are we... even _talking _about the same thing?"

"Well, if we're talking about Wendy's mum being _pregnant, _then yeah, we are!"

This time my mouth dropped all the way to the floor.

Oops.

**xxxxxx**

My mind was racing. There was no way in Merlin's name that Granger - _the_ Granger - could be _pregnant. _With _child. _Baking a _bun._

I hesitated at first as to whether or not I should question her about it. I mean, Granger was more responsible about... well... s_ex,_ than any of the rest of us were, so her symptoms could always just be the pudding. Or not. I tried to look back on the conversation I over-heard between the girls.

Hermione wasn't late. I don't think. I mean, Blaise explained it to me when I re-told the conversation to him, and I know that Granger's always on time. Take it from a guy who's _seen_ the bathroom after she's done with it.

And the vomiting? Already explained. The pudding, duh.

And what else could there have possibly been to hint that she was pregnant?

She was oddly scared everytime I came near her. Like I was going to hit her or something. I thought about it again. I decided she was scared that I would hurt the baby if I hit her or something. But no. Remember, Granger's definitely _not _pregnant.

My thoughts were interrupted when the common room door shut. Ho-ho, the Head Girl was home.

"Hey, Granger!" I called to her. But she ignored me, and marched towards her room. She was holding her bag tightly to her chest. I got up from the armchair, and tried to follow her. When she noticed this, her pace quickened.

"Go away, Malfoy, I'm busy!"

I stopped in my tracks. She slammed the door shut.

"Okay..." I said awkwardly.

I waited for her to get out. She couldn't escape my questioning for long. I didn't care that it was absolutely none of my business, and that it would probably never be my business, but nothing like this ever happened at Hogwarts. And I wanted to be first on the scene.

Granger opened her door slowly after a while, and peeked outside. Apparently she knew I was waiting for her.

I got up from the couch quickly and stumbled over my feet. I fell in a heap of tangled limbs.

Hermione looked terribly frightened. She backed up quickly into her bedroom, and began to close the door.

"Wait!" I told her. She didn't listen to me.

"If you're drunk again, Malfoy, just leave me alone!" she shrieked.

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm not drunk, I swear!" I told her while getting up. I brushed off my shoulders and straightened up. I walked in a circle for her, showing her that I was completely sober.

She let the door hang open.

"Good," she said, more composed. She still looked a little scared though.

"What the hell is up with you, Granger?" I asked her.

"Nothing," she answered, a little too quickly. I noticed there was a thin box in her hands.

"Hey..." I noticed," what's that?"

She looked down at it, and put it quickly behind her hands.

"Just a... something for the bathroom," she muttered quickly.

"Can I see it?" I asked, holding out my hand.

"No!" she said, a little too loudly.

I sighed. "You're beeing rather difficult."

Hermione's face went blank. She looked like she was in some sort of daze. And then her face crumbled.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she said quickly, while hiding her face.

"But I - "

"Go away!"

And then she pushed past me, gaining a straight path towards the bathroom. I let her go without another word. She really _was_ being difficult.

There was no point in waiting for her, I thought. If she was going to be like this the whole night, then maybe I would try again in the morning. She couldn't hide from me forever.

I decided I would go into my room, and start reading to get things out of my mind. It always helped me.

My back was on the bed, my hands holding up the book in front of me. It was a very comfortable position. The book began to do it's magic in seconds, and suddenly I forgot. This wizarding romance book was amazingly interesting.

The girl was breaking up with her long time lover for another man.

_Pansy, _I seethed.

And the man tried desperately in sleepless nights to forget her.

_Pityful Draco. _

All the while he found that the answer to forgetting her was right in front of him.

_Sob, sob, sob._

I tore my eyes away from the book. That wasn't _me_ crying was it? Quickly, I wiped my fingers across my cheek. It was dry.

Where was that noise coming from?

I got up from my bed, and checked the living room. It was empty. The kitchen was clean and empty as well. No one was in Hermione's room, for her door was hanging open, and I could see. I looked towards the bathroom. The door was shut.

And then I heard the noise again, coming from inside there.

I dropped my book on the bed and headed for the bathroom. Granger seemed really sad. My steps were light, so that she wouldn't hear me coming and turn me away. I wanted to get to the bottom of this. Instead of wrapping on the door, I muttered a strong unlocking spell so that I would have immediate entrance.

I pushed the door aside, and it creaked open.

Hermione sat on the toilet, shaking. Her cheeks were stained with tears and the sink was dirty with vomit.

At a time like this, I would probably laugh my head off. But her sadness was too real. I knew how that felt, and to stand there and mock her would probably guilt me.

"Granger, what's wrong?" I asked in worry.

She looked up at me, surprised by my presence. She didn't turn me away this time. She was so vulnerable, I almost cringed in sorrow. Instead of asking to be alone, like I thought she would, she stood up and did an act of evil.

She hugged me.

I was so caught of guard, I didn't have the time to react. I stood there, my hands up in surprise while her arms were wrapped around my neck. I smelled something icky.

I looked sidways to look at what she was holding. "What's in your hand?"

Granger ignored me. She looked at the sink, and sobbed. And something struck me. "Have you been vomiting again?"

She let go of me, her eyes full of worry and sadness. She said nothing. She did nothing... except hold up her shaking palm, her fingers wrapped tightly around a very blue pregnancy test.

Her fingers unwraveled itselt from the stick gracefully, and she let it drop to the floor. As it did, she sat back on the toilet, and cried her eyes out again, her hands covering her face. Her sobs were saturated with sadness and the bathroom was almost flooded with her tears. I really had to admit that I was _truly _sad for her.

She looked up from her hands and eyed me. They were narrowed and had no vulneribility in it, like it did ten seconds ago.

"Go away," she whispered.

I had no idea what to do. Stay there and comfort her? Stand there and watch? Go away and forget all about this? What could I do?

"_Go away,_" she said more forcefully.

I sighed. It was what she wanted. So I turned around and left, leaving the sadness there as I did.

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Pretty good for my first try at this sort of fic? I hope so! Review if you like it or review if you hate it! Thanks x.


	2. Counting Up My Demons

A/N: Chapter 2, up and running!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Counting Up My Demons

**xxxxxx**

I could hardly believe it. The pregnancy test was all wrong, I know it! I can't believe... I never expected...

Why me!

I'm always a responsible person. I at least made sure he had protection, for Merlin's sake! And now what? I'm pregnant? No. I refuse to believe it and I certainly refuse to be a muggle statistic.

It's been three days since I tested myself for pregnancy... and I'm too scared to try again. What if the results are the same? And again, what if they're not? What if Malfoy caught me like that again, a mess on the bathroom floor?

I shivered. _Malfoy. _

He didn't spread the word, as far as I know. People have been treating me normally and Harry and Ron haven't had a spazz attack. I suppose I should thank him for keeping his mouth shut, but then again, I could also slap his cold blooded face and throw him every cuss word in the book.

It wasn't hard avoiding him in the past three days. He sort of ignored me as well, and that was completely fine with me. We spoke when he had to, and that was it. Neither of us brought up the subject of the other night, and all was supposedly forgotten. Supposedly, that is.

I was sitting on the couch of our living room, doing my homework like every Friday afternoon, while Draco kept his distance in the kitchen, holding an apple, while reading an open textbook on the counter. I felt him glance my way every now and then, and I flinched. I truly hate that boy.

Although I was glad he never brought it up, it was intensely awkward between us. Sometimes I wish we would both just get everything it out in the open. Well. Not everything, of course.

"Hey, Granger?"

Oh darn. I knew wishing stuff like that was never good.

I sighed. "Yes?" I never turned around to face him.

"Can we talk?"

I didn't like his tone. He sounded serious. I suppose I had to lighten the mood.

"We're talking right now, Malfoy. It's what we call it when people exchange words," I told him testily.

Somewhere between the silence that followed, I'm sure he stood up from the stool he was seated on and took a few steps my way. Frightened out of my mind already, I closed my textbook shut, and backed off quickly towards the door of my room. He stopped, and looked at me oddly.

"Seriously, what's wrong with you, Granger?"

I would never tell him.

"What's wrong with _you?_ Isn't it more than a little obvious I want to be alone?"

He exhaled slowly.

"Well, I'm sorry for wanting to know if you're okay," he said harshly. "Sheesh."

I touched the knob on my door. Although surprised I was that he even cared about my well-being, I couldn't stand being in the same room as him sometimes. I looked at him indifferently.

"Since when did you care?"

And I slammed the door shut on him for the millionth time.

**xxxxxx **

Night time... I used to love it. Now, I really hate it.

It used to be a time where I could stay up till the early hours of morning and read, or write, or talk to myself about anything. Night times were especially for me, and when the joys of it were taken away from me, I usually cried myself to sleep. The reading and writing and talking was replaced with nightmares.

I remember the banging of the door and me opening it, thinking someone was in trouble.

When really it was me.

My mind fogged itself up with memories, and the tears began falling like rain drops. I pushed the pillow harder onto my face, so that it would stop the flow of it, and so that I would stop hearing the banging. The banging on the door was much too loud... much too real...

"Open the door, damn it!"

I went as rigid as a cement board. It wasn't happening again was it?

I plunged myself into my blankets, and whispered some added security onto my bedroom door. The banging continued, and I realized with horror that it was actually happening.

"Go away!" I shrieked, panicking.

"It's just me, Granger! It's Malfoy! Open the door!"

I sighed in relief, realizing that it wasn't what I thought it was. It was Malfoy. The normal Malfoy.

"What?" I yelled, while wiping away whatever was left of on my cheek that hinted I was crying.

"Can I come in? Please?"

"Why?" I barked.

"Because I have something to give you."

Surprised, I rolled out of the bed. What could he possibly have to give to me? I placed my wand in my hand just in case, and unlocked the door and the added security. He stood there, holding a paper in his hand, and looking at me with concern.

"I don't care about you, nor do I feel any sentiment toward you. But I do feel bad for you, so here."

He stuck out his hand, and held it in front of my tired, surprised eyes.

I cautiously picked up the piece of paper he held in his hands, and read it, my eyes scanning the short letter from left to right very quickly.

And I really felt like slapping him right then.

"No!" I yelled at him.

"What?" he asked, trying to defend himself. "You need it."

"No, I don't!"

Boy. This guy had a really thick skull. Forget that he's second to me and taking a million N.E.W.T. classes like me. He doesn't know when to stick his nose out.

"Malfoy, this is uncalled for and unnecessary!"

His eyes were oval. "Uncalled for? Unnecessary? Granger, you need to know!"

I breathed slowly, trying very hard not to stress myself.

"I'm not pregnant, okay? I don't need this stupid appointment!"

"Yes you do, Granger, and by God, I swear that you'll go there, even if I have to take you myself!"

Huh. That really shut me up.

I controlled my voice, trying to make it even and balanced.

"Malfoy... that's really nice of you and everything, but I don't _want_ it. I'm not pregnant and I don't need a medi-wizard to tell me so, okay?"

"Granger," he said, his voice exasperated. He was really trying to knock some sense into me. "The pregnancy test was blue! If I'm not incorrect, that means you _are _pregnant"

I crumpled the paper in my hands.

"God, Malfoy! Since when did you care this bad?"

He shrugged. "I'm not _completely _evil."

I laughed bitterly. "Not _completely _anyways," I muttered.

Apparently he caught that last one.

"Okay, I wasn't into helping you at first, but you're really pissing me off now, Granger."

Oh no.

I took a few steps back into my bedroom and put some distance between us. He smacked his head.

"I'm not going to hurt you, for Merlin's sake! Why the hell do you always do that?" he bellowed.

Well... for one... no, I couldn't even say it.

"I won't hurt you, or your baby, okay? I won't."

I flinched. "I'm not pregnant," I whispered.

Draco shook his head slowly. "Well, you don't know that for sure. So I'm taking you to that clinic tomorrow whether you like it or not."

"Malfoy, you can't! I refuse. Damn it, come back!"

But he had already begun walking away from me, ignoring every word I said.

"Tomorrow at noon, Granger. If you're not there, I'll hunt you down myself and bring you there."

I blanched. Boy, did this guy really know how to scare the wits out of someone or what?

**xxxxxx**

"Morning, Hermione," Ron said, as he took a seat beside me in the Great Hall.

I smiled warmly at him, as I continued to eat breakfast. I was oddly hungry today - because I didn't eat dinner, I like to believe - and my stomach was not even completely satisfied after two servings of eggs. Ron, noticing all the cereal, eggs, bacon and sausage on my plate, paused for a moment.

"Is that your breakfast or mine, Hermione?" he chuckled lowly.

I smiled at him again, and focused on my food. I really wanted pickles...

"I told you not to skip dinner, Hermione, it's not good for you."

Well, at least he wasn't suspecting anything of me.

"Where's Harry?" I asked him, piling some more sausages onto my plate.

"He's coming," Ron said absent-mindedly. His head was up, looking at the owl post that was arriving over the large whole on the school roof. Of course, packages of letters were delivered to Ron from his mother and father, and I got my usual newspaper and hello from home. A black, tawny owl, however, was new to my delivery service. I eyed it, as it stood handsomely on the edge of my cereal bowl.

"Well aren't you a charming one," I told it, while shoving a plate of bacon it's way. It ate generously off my plate.

I opened the letter from that owl first and read quickly.

_Noon in front of the castle gates. _

I sighed and crumpled it up.

"Who's that from?" Ron questioned, while unraveling some of his own letters.

I picked up my wand, and began burning wholes through the paper lazily. Ron arched his eyebrow as I did so.

"Oh, just a quick reminder from the Head Boy about certain plans."

I smiled at my deception. Well, not really deception. It was the truth... just not the whole truth.

Ron scowled. "Oh. Is he still getting on your case?"

Yes. "Not as much," I said through my teeth.

Soon after Ron and I had finished our breakfasts, Harry had joined us very late. He smiled in greeting towards us and began piling some food onto his plate slowly.

"What took you?" Ron asked him before I could.

"I bumped into someone at the owlery," Harry said angrily.

"Who?"

And as if on cue, to answer Ron's question, Draco walked into the Great Hall alone, over to the Slytherin table. He halted at the entrance however, and glanced toward me inconspicuously. When he saw I was up and alive, he continued the short walk to his table.

"Ugh," Ron mustered. "What did he do?"

"He was just pestering me. Asking me if I knew everything about my friends, like I should be suspecting something of you guys."

I took a sharp breath after Harry spoke. Luckily he didn't notice. "And what did you say?" I asked him casually. Harry shrugged and began to eat his food.

"That he was a bloody fool for even asking me, and for thinking that I would even answer him."

I managed a hearty, fake chuckle, while Ron laughed meaningfully.

"Good one, mate. The guy is off his rocker."

Harry joined in our laughter, while Ron began to insult my roommate. I really would have joined in by nodding and agreeing, which is what I usually did, seeing as I detested him as much as they did (if not more), but I began to feel queasy. He was really butting into it, this guy.

While we were talking, a few Hufflepuff students walked by us, on their way to their table.

"So she _is _pregnant?" One of them said. My neck cracked as my head looked in their direction.

"Yup. It's for sure."

Ron and Harry looked their way as well, wondering who they could be talking about. I wanted to pull their attention back, but they were listening intently on the gang of Hufflepuffs.

"Who?" Ron asked kindly, without making it sound like he was butting in.

One of the girls looked in my direction. My eyes came together, expecting the worst.

"Wendy's mum. Found out a few days ago," they said joyously. I sighed with saturated relief.

Ron and Harry smiled warmly. "Congratulations."

The Hufflepuffs returned the smile, and stalked off in a different direction. My eyes closed. I wouldn't always be off the hook like that. Pretty soon they'd notice my eating habits, and I would start showing... no. I wouldn't. Because I'm not pregnant, I reminded myself.

"Hermione? You feeling okay?" Harry asked me.

My eyes fluttered open, and I sighed. "Oh, yeah. I'm okay."

Harry didn't take his eyes off me. "You've been acting really weird ever since a couple of months ago, Hermione. Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," I said. I really _was _sure I was fine. I mean, I wasn't dead or anything like that. "This whole Head Girl thing is just really bugging me out."

They nodded, accepting my answer, and went quickly back to talking with each other. But I started to feel queasy again.

"Speaking of bugged out, I'm feeling tired. I'll be up in the common room, okay?"

"Okay," Ron said, "will you be okay for this afternoon? We're going to Hagrids," Ron explained.

I contemplated in fake thought. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't think so. I've got some Head Girl duties I haven't completely finished. I think I'll be unavailable for most of the day... sorry," I said lamely.

"It's okay," Harry said supportively. "We know how much Head Girl means to you. We'll be fine one day without you, Hermione."

I sighed. I really didn't deserve friends like them.

"Hope you feel better," Ron said, while giving me a hug. I returned it wholly, and savoured it. Hopefully I would still get hugs from them like that.

"Bye guys."

And for some reason, as I bade a simple farewell to the two most important men of my life, I felt like hiding away and bawling my poor little eyes out... and it was all Malfoy's fault.

**xxxxxx **

"Ready?" Malfoy asked as I approached him in the dull afternoon sun.

"No."

He ignored me. "Good. Let's go."

I took a place beside him about four feet away, and began walking in an even pace. I was watching where I was going, just in case, so I wouldn't stumble down the school hill and lose the -

Nope. Not going there. No baby.

Malfoy watched me, as I stopped measuring each of my steps.

"Are you okay?"

My head snapped angrily in his direction and I waved it off. Seriously, this guy wouldn't let it go, would he? No one ever bothered me this much as him. Maybe if I actually told him he didn't have to worry. Oh, wait, already did that. Maybe I'd try a different path with him, just for the heck of trying.

"Not that you should even know, or especially _care,_ I'm just fine. Please stop asking me."

He nodded, although I could see he was restraining himself to say something mean towards me. Or something else. I went further away from him just for extra precaution.

"I spoke to Potter. He doesn't know?"

I glared at him. "No. And neither does Ron, and neither does Ginny, or anyone else you feel like pestering about my situation. Butt out of it please."

He sighed and took a different route.

"Have you figured out what you're going to do?" he asked me with a true questioning gaze. Oh God...

I sighed. "No, because I'm not pregnant."

He looked at me like I just said I was stupid, and composed himself.

"How long are you going to stick with that?"

"Till I get the medi-wizard's results," I told him truthfully.

"Fine," he said, "then _what if_ you're pregnant? Have you figured out what you're going to do?"

I smacked my head, and stopped walking. Malfoy did the same, as he watched me peculiarly. I'm sure he wasn't expecting me to be so aggravated, but I'm a girl. I get moody somtimes, and I'm at least allowed to that, if I'm not allowed to get scared everytime he comes near me.

"Listen, this is what you're going to do," I said, my voice full of authority. "We're going to walk the remaining mile in silence till we can apparate to the clinic. You will not talk to me, and I will definitely not talk to you. After the testing and examining is over, we'll go back to the school, walking in silence once more, and that will be the end of it."

Malfoy was giving me an exapserated look. I can tell he wanted to talk.

"No," I said, stopping him before he could get a word out, "you're doing this out of pure guilt, am I correct?" I didn't wait for his answer. "So when it's over, I'll be of no burden to you, okay? That's the end of it."

I began walking, not wanting to hear any compromising he wanted to suggest. Instead, he took me by the elbow and whirled me around. I did a double over at his rough touch.

"Let go!" I shrieked at him. He looked at me, surprised by my reaction. Malfoy let go quickly, and took a measured step back.

"What's gotten into you, Granger? It's like everytime I'm within breathing distance of you, you spazz out!"

I huffed angrily, and began walking again. He followed suit.

"You know, I'm just trying to be the better guy here. I'm the only one that knows, right? I just wanted to lift some of the burden off of you - "

"I never asked you, did I?" I said rudely, "And for the record, all you said was that I had to come to the stupid clinic appointment, and now I am. You never said that I had to take you with me!"

He stopped. "I'm coming so that you don't back out last minute!"

I turned around. "Just leave, will you?"

Malfoy looked at me, obviously offended. "Fine. I won't try and help you at all. I'll let you have this heavy burden and crack under the pressure."

I sneered at him. "It wouldn't be the first time I've had to carry burdens," I muttered.

"Yeah, I can tell by the way you're handling things," he yelled. It took me all the strength I could muster to not slap him right there.

"What are you still doing here? Go away!"

"I'm going," he said, stalking back up the hill, not looking back.

"Good," I whispered, as I watched him retreat. "And leave me alone," I added, as my knees began shaking so hard, I thought they were going to buckle.

He stopped walking when he was almost out of my view.

"And just so you know, I have nothing to feel guilty about, Granger. I was just doing this to help you." He was so far away that I could hardly hear his words. "And Granger, please, _please, _don't back out. You need to know."

And he kept on walking, till he was a tiny speck in my view.

I could assure him of two things.

One, I would not back out. He was right. I needed to know.

And two, he did have something to feel guilty about. He just didn't know it.

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Dun, dun, dun. What what what could it be? Don't spoil it for the others! Review if you hate it or love it please! x)


	3. Closer To Wrong

A/N: Chapter three! Wee x

By the way, check out my profile and take a look at my new Homepage. It's, yes, my xanga! Not my real one, but my authors one. I haven't done much with it but check it out, and I'll update it as soon as possible to give you guys some tid-bits about my other completed stories and perhaps some spoilers for this one! Once again, check it out and goodbye! x)

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Closer to Wrong

**xxxxxx**

Nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing whatsoever.

That was what I was trying to convince myself of as I made the short walk remaining to the common room I shared with Granger.

So then why was it that when I thought, and said that to her, it sounded utterly and completely wrong?

Granger was really pissing me off.

The horrendous event of showing her some sympathy she didn't deserve, had me feeling suddenly tired. Apparently this is what you got for trying to be a good guy for once. Try and help someone you've tortured for so many years? Forget about it! It'll just leave you exhausted as hell. All I wanted to do right now was sleep, and forget about everything that had recently happened.

I found myself, though I was tired, standing outside the common room door, though I knew I had already walked through it. My vision was terribly blurry. How did that happen so suddenly? And just as quickly as I stumbled my way closer to the door did I find out I was dreaming. Mainly because I was falling everywhere from left to right and not feeling any pain. Or because I was yelling Pansy's name. Yeah, that probably did it.

And then I heard the door slam shut.

I shot up from my bed, beads of sweat coming down like waterfalls from my forehead. I wiped it away quickly, and wondered why I was hyperventilating. It wasn't a nightmare that I had been dreaming... but it certainly felt like one.

I opened my door and peeked through. I found out I had slept for an hour or so.

Granger was just taking off her coat and putting he shoes neatly away. She wasn't looking very happy. Maybe that face meant she actually went through with the appointment. I watched her more closely, and I realized that she had stopped in front of the mirror that hung on our living room wall on her way to her bedroom. She looked around her surroudings quickly. I guess to make sure I wasn't there.

And then she began rubbing her stomach softly in circular motions. She stuck her back out, as if something were pushing her spine. I watched even closer, to see if she was doing what I thought she was doing and sighed. This was a private moment for Granger. I shut the door quietly, and sat at my desk.

If Granger was really pregnant, and I hoped not (as much as it pained me to do so) because she would have to go through the pregnancy alone, her life would be ruined, guaranteed. I contemplated for a while on telling Potter or Weasley, just so she wouldn't be alone, but I forgot about it quickly. She didn't want my help, so I wouldn't give it to her.

As I gave up on thinking about Granger's situation, my mind floated back to the dream. The common room... my unbalanced walk... me yelling Pansy's name... all the while getting closer to the door. I couldn't interpret the dream at all.

After a while, I heard my door creak open. I didn't bother to check who it was, for I was so immersed in my thoughts.

"Malfoy," said the voice softly. I fought the urge to snap my head around. "I just want you to know that I went to the clinic. They'll owl me the results in forty-eight hours."

She closed the door and I heard her footsteps go to her bedroom. I sighed, thankful she went through with it.

I realized I was still very tired, minutes after she was gone. Unwillingly, for I still had homework to do, I dressed for an early nap, and tucked myself inside my blankets. It didn't take long for my eyes to get droopy, and for me to give in to the fatigue. Slowly and effortlessly, I fell asleep, lapsing myself into the same dream I had dreamt earlier before.

**xxxxxx **

I hate Mondays. There's always something about Monday's that people hate. For some, it was the end of the weekend. For others it was the classes they had that day. For me... well, it had been fourty-eight hours. Take a wild guess as to why I hated today, yet anticipated it with great anxiety.

"Oi!" Blaise whispered from across the room. "Oi!"

"What?" I asked, irritated.

"What's number 22 B?"

"Look in the textbook!"

Blaise scowled at me for not giving him the answer. He flipped the pages in his textbook, though it seemed he did so just because I had said. I forced my eyes back to the work I had been given for today, and rubbed my eyes.

I hadn't had that dream for the past two days. I was glad, for it really plagued me. What was I doing at the door and why did I yell Pansy's name like that? I hadn't missed Pansy for months. I had the feeling that I wasn't in my right state of mind during the dream, and that's why everytime I spoke Pansy's name it was very connected. I shook my head in frustration.

A pecking noise was heard from the window, and my head looked up lazily. Anything to distract me from my thoughts.

A barn owl, one I knew didn't belong to Hogwarts, was waiting patiently outside the window. It had a rolled up note tied around it's left leg, and I squinted to see the name written on it. _Hermione J. Granger. _I gasped slightly the same time someone else did.

"To whom does the owl belong?" I heard Professor McGonagall ask.

I looked around to face Granger. Her face was red, but oddly pale at the same time.

"Um, mine, Professor." I saw Potter and Weasley steal glances at her. They knew she didn't own an owl. She would have to lie to them about it later.

"Well, go on then, open the window for it," McGonagall said.

Granger stood up from her seat, and quickly made her way to the window. She slid the glass up, and untied the letter quickly from the owls leg. It flew away almost immediately after, not staying for a snack or for a treat for it's work. Granger stowed it away in her pocket, not looking once my way or Potter and Weasley's way as she walked back to her seat.

Potter and Weasley were more than obviously trying to ask her about the letter, but she gave them warning looks and shook her head. As she did so, she caught my eye, and glared furiously. Taken aback, I gave her a confused look. Granger was odd like that, I suppose.

Luckily, class was over soon, and it was time for lunch. I hung back in the classroom, lolling around, pretending to organize my books.

"Coming?" Blaise asked.

"Nah. Save me a seat, I've got to ask Professor a question." Blaise nodded and walked away, leaving just me, Potter, Weasley and Granger in the room.

I pretended to fiddle with the buckle on my bag, while listening intently to their conversation. They didn't notice I was still in the room, thankfully.

"What does the letter say, Hermione?"

"It's from my Mum and Dad," she told them. They looked at her with alarm. "It's nothing," Granger assured them. "They've lost something inside the house and they... wanted to know if I knew where it was."

They exchanged confused glances.

"Well... what did they lose?" Potter questioned. _Leave it alone, _I wanted to say.

I saw her hesitate, but only for a moment. "The cat."

"...The cat?"

"The cat," she confirmed.

"We didn't know you had another cat."

"Oh, no, no, no," she said with a good fake grin, "they're taking care of Mittens for the vacationing neighbours. They're going to have multiple ulcers if they find out she's been lost."

Weasley gave her a worried look. "I hope your neighbours don't find out when they come back."

"Oh, don't worry."

They all smiled together all at once. What an insanely odd relationship of friendship this trio had. All smiling, laughter and joy. I felt like vomiting.

"Alright, well, coming to lunch?"

"No, I'm sorry," Granger rejected, "I'm sorry to bail out on you guys again like this, but I've got so much homework I need to do instead of let it pile up. Meet me in the common room later?" she suggested with a smile.

"Sure thing, Hermione. Later!" And they pushed passed the desks and chairs, and were quickly out the door. I sighed, glad that they hadn't seen me.

I waited for Granger to realize I was there. Turns out I didn't have too.

"Are you trying to make things obvious or what, Malfoy?" she asked me rudely.

I rolled my eyes. "Right. Like if they see that I stayed behind they'll suddenly suspect it's because you're pregnant and you were owled the results."

She glared at me, and took out the letter from her pocket.

"Just don't make this look suspicious," Granger warned. I nodded my head quickly in comprehension, so she would hurry with the results. She took in a deep breath before unrolling it quickly.

Her eyes moved from side to side slowly. Her expression was completely unreadable. By the looks of it, I could probably guess that her parents had written her just to say hello. That's how hard Granger was to read.

"Well?" I asked, trying to hide my impatience.

She stuck the letter back in her pocket.

"I should go."

"And you're not even going to tell me the results?"

"Why should you care?"

"Why should I _not?_ Frankly, nothing this juicy has ever happened in the history of Hogwarts, and I want to be the first on the scene."

I said that, trying to make the intensity between us subside, and make it light, but apparently that was the wrong thing to say. She glared firey hot daggers at me.

"Is that what you call my pregnancy, Malfoy? A juicy hot topic, so that you can tell the whole school?"

I sighed, regretting what I said. "Okay, wrong thing to say."

"Obviously," she bit out.

"...Will you tell me the results?"

"...Maybe."

We glared angrily (half apologetically for me) for about ten seconds. And then my mind reeled.

"Wait a second," I told her. She continued to glare.

"You said '_my_ pregnacny.' Does that mean what I think it means?"

She was taken aback for only a moment. And then she turned on her heel and began walking out on me, just like that.

"Hey hold on!" I yelled quietly, just in case. "You won't even tell me?" She kept on walking. "And after all I did?"

Granger scoffed, as if she was sharing some sort of inside joke with herself. "Exactly."

**xxxxxx**

I didn't find Granger in the common room. I didn't see her in the Great Hall during lunch or dinner. I couldn't find her in the libraries, nor the lavatories. Where had she gone? I was about to give up, when I was on my way to the common room, and I heard, as always, sobs coming from the door.

I creaked it open after saying the password, and found myself not surprised, to see Granger sitting in front of the fireplace, watching the fire crackle.

"Granger?" I asked, mostly to let her know I was there.

She didn't turn around. Instead, she wiped at her eyes furiously and ignored me.

"Go away," she muttered.

I walked slowly up to her. I could tell she wanted to crouch back in fear, or run away and hide under her covers, but she didn't. I didn't know whether to be rude, nice, or sympathetic towards her right now. She looked up at me, as I kneeled down beside her, looking at the fire. I saw a paper burning slowly, the words half ashened in the flame.

I read the words 'congratulations,' 'your symptoms,' 'common affects,' and 'two months along.'

I knew it then, that Granger was indeed, pregnant.

"Are you..."

"Okay? Does it look like I am?" she snapped. I sighed. Maybe I would take the nice route today.

"Granger..." I half whispered, "you're pregnant..."

A tiny sob came from her mouth that I could have also thought was a wimper. The thoughts seemed to surprise me as it did her. Granger... pregnant. The words just didn't go together, especially if she was still a teenager in school.

"Are you happy now?" she asked me. I was very surprised.

"Why would I be?" I challenged her.

"You were right. I am pregnant. Knocked up and alone."

"That's not usually a good thing."

"Yes, but it's what you wanted, Malfoy."

I was silent for a moment.

"I wouldn't wish this upon anyone and you know it, Granger."

She sighed and got up. I followed her.

"I'll be in my room. If anyone comes up for me, I'm asleep, okay? Don't try and comfort me please. Your comfort, especially _your_ comfort," she added pointedly, "is the very last thing I want."

I glared at her and was about to bring up the fact that she wouldn't have even known for sure had I not forced her to go to the clinic, and that I had helped her tremendously, but it obviously wasn't the right time for it. I decided some... sort of nice words, would be okay for the moment.

"Granger," I said, as she touched the knob on her door. "This isn't your fault."

From my side view, I almost thought her cheek was turned up in a smile. But she couldn't be smiling. She was smirking. And a bitter smirk at that.

I sat once more and began watching the fire burn the rest of the letter that sentenced her to a difficult future ahead. I began to think that maybe my words had some affect on her, and I was glad.

"No," she whispered angrily. "It's yours." And she slammed the door.

Or not.

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Aw... our poor Hermione. What ever shall she do? Well, let's hope she'll figure it out, and that Draco will figure out his muddled dreams as well! Review if you hate it, review if you love it! Love you guys!


	4. Worn Your Welcome

A/N: Number four, up and at it!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Worn Your Welcome

**xxxxxx**

Okay, so I wasn't completely right about the pregnancy... I was completely wrong. Hermione Granger, pregnant? I think so. The thought was enough to make me want to crawl inside a hole and just die there, even if that next door hole was Malfoy. I couldn't believe him. To have the nerve to force me into a clinical appointment and then rub the pregnany in my face... well, not really. But still... any reason to hate Malfoy, I would take.

Morning was hard to get through... him and his smug face... I would love nothing more than to just cut off his pretty little hair, or rip up his expensive robes. I wouldn't mind hitting him smack dab on the cheek like I did in third year, but I suppose he would actually report me for that. But then again when did I care?

" - so tonight, and hopefully we'll be finished."

I snapped my head up from my breakfast. There wasn't much point going to the Great Hall for breakfast when we had our very own kitchen in our dorm. I appreciated this advantage more than ever, for no one would see my change in eating habits.

"What?" I asked indifferently.

"I was talking about our rounds tonight. If we start earlier than usual you won't have to be up so late and you could get some rest. I'll take the rest of your shift and manage the remainder of the night myself. Is that okay?"

I couldn't care less at the moment, so I just nodded, not bothering to show my thanks.

"Sure, thanks a lot Malfoy. Ah, Granger, no problem, it was my pleasure," I heard him mutter, first with a high voice, and the second sentence in his deep, mocking voice.

"I'm sorry?" I asked testily.

Draco smiled at me fakely and shrugged.

"Nothing," and he moved away from me, taking a seat on our couch, staring aimlessly around the dorm. I arched my eyebrow, thinking he was waiting for something. Well, he wouldn't be getting anything I figured, so I picked up my bag and made my way to the door, seeing as class would be starting very soon, and I was already late on my schedule.

"You're welcome, by the way," he said loudly from his seat. I smiled with my forehead cringed together.

"So that was what you were waiting for? My thank you?"

"Well, you know, I've been such a nice guy, considering I could be telling the school and making your life a living hell, but you don't seem to take any of that into notice."

"And I shouldn't. Besides, I never asked you to keep this a secret or help me, did I?"

"Is this when I apologize for trying to help you out?"

"No, this is when you finally listen to me when I tell you to leave me alone and butt out. We've gone through this, have we not?" He stayed silent, so I continued. "You set up an appointment for me, and I thanked you for that - "

He scoffed, "Barely." I ignored him.

"And that is the only thing I will accept from you from here on after. Have I given you any reason to feel responsibility towards me?"

"Yes."

I was surprised.

"Like what?" I challenged.

"For one, I was the only person you told."

"I never told you anything - !"

"You _showed _me the test, Granger."

I sighed. He made a point there.

"And now I feel that since I'm the only person who knows about it, I should... take care of you somehow, or make sure you're okay, until you're ready to tell someone more... reasonable."

"Reasonable?" I questioned.

"I really shouldn't have been the first person you told," he explained. "Your parents or your friends, you should've told... just not me."

I sighed.

"I had every reason to tell you."

He looked at me, puzzled, and scratched his head.

"Like?"

Woops.

"I..." He stared at me. "Well, you...it's just... kind of... " I should have said something by now, huh? Bugger. "It's just... well, to be honest - "

_Riiiing!_

Saved by the bell. Huh, I never knew I'd get the chance to say that in real life, ever.

"Crap," Malfoy said, glancing at his watch. "We're late."

I looked over at the clock above the fire, and panicked.

"And I have potions first thing!" What a bad start to the day.

Malfoy walked past me and held the common room door open while picking up his bag with one hand.

"Rounds tonight at ten o'clock, Granger." And he was out the door like that, not even pushing the matter further. I was very glad of that.

Figuring that I was already late, I would at least finish up my breakfast. I was pretty hungry still. Maybe ten more minutes, and then I would leave. I was just glad Malfoy left before I did, and without questioning me further.

With great relief, I plonked myself onto a stool.

I doubt anything else could save me from something like that again.

**xxxxxx **

I should have let Malfoy have my shift completely, tonight. I was utterly and completely tired after the first ten minutes of rounds. I didn't like patrolling the school at night because it was scary (yes, I know I'm a witch for goodness sake), and I had an hour alone with Malfoy. This fact I absolutely hated the most. I looked forward to another session of question and answer with Malfoy. Not.

"How many more minutes?" I said, while stifling a yawn.

Malfoy glanced at his watch as he brought his hands down from rubbing his eyes.

"Fourty-eight," he said, almost apologetically towards me. I guess he knew I was tired.

"Oh for Merlin's sake," I whispered in the dark.

"Tired?" He asked me.

"Not at all," I lied.

"You're bad at lying, Granger."

I gave him a sarcastic look.

"It's not that I'm bad at lying. You're just very... perceptive."

"No. You're bad at lying, and very easy to read."

I glared at him.

"I'm not easy to read, thanks."

"Yes you are," he contradicted. I could almost tell he was trying to keep from contradicting me any further.

"Oh yeah? How so." I supposed that if I let him elaborate, he'd shut up for the rest of the night.

"Well, for example, if I didn't know that you were pregnant, I would have realized you're eating habits right now, and the fact that you were vomiting in the bathroom every other day. Plus, you've got bags in your eyes from lack of sleep, and just the way you act would have given me the hint that you were."

I went rigid as a board.

His smug faultered when he saw this.

"Oh... I didn't mean to talk about the pregnancy." I tried very had not to flinch at that word.

I ignored his somewhat apology and went stoney. "Well, I'm not the only one with bags under my eyes," I told him, while starting to stroll our current area of supervision.

"What do you mean?" he asked me sharply. Ah, crap. I didn't mean to get him riled.

"Well, you wake up in the morning like you've got a wand up your butt. Plus, I hear you get up at night and go to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Looks like I'm not the only one with lack of sleep, right?"

He eyed me suspiciously. "What else do you hear at night?"

I shrugged. How was I supposed to know?

"You snoring," I added, trying to make the sudden turn of the conversation go back to the normal arguing.

He straightened up.

"I don't snore."

I smiled. "If that helps you sleep at night."

He peered at me again, and looked serious once more. Oh honestly, could I have said anything more to stay on topic? He looked really uncomfortable now, as if he really _did_ have trouble sleeping because of something.

"What?" I asked peevishly.

"Nothing," he said dismissively.

"No, seriously. What's keeping you up at night?" I asked him with what I thought was concern. "Me and the pregnancy... - " insert my flinch here, "it's not bothering you is it?"

He scoffed. Wow, thanks, Malfoy.

"No, that's not it."

"Then what?"

"It's just..." now he really looked uncomfortable. "I keep having these dreams."

My ears perked in interest.

"Dreams? What about?"

"I don't know," he said, with a hint of frustration in his voice, "I'm walking up to this familiar door, stumbling and everything on my way, yelling Pansy's name. I get the feeling that someone's in trouble, but I keep on yelling like a maniac, and tripping and falling... That's as far as I get, before I wake up."

Well... that's interesting.

"What is this? A nightmare?" I asked in plain worry.

"No, it can't be. But it feels so much like one."

I was at a loss for words. He couldn't be dreaming about what I thought he was dreaming about, could he?

"Have you... gotten any further into the dream?"

He scratched his head in frustration. "I get closer to the door with each dream. But I never have enough to see what's behind it!"

I think this was my cue to leave. I didn't want in on any of his drama when I had more than enough of my own.

"I think I'm feeling out of it," I said, faking faintness.

"Feel like going back to the common room?" He asked, although it didn't sound like concern. He was still frustrated about the dream.

"Yeah. You don't mind taking the rest of my shift?"

"It's fine. I could use the time alone to sort this dream out anyways."

"Okay. I'll see you up there."

"Yeah, okay." He still sounded distracted.

I began walking my way up to the common room alone, thinking. Well, those few minutes weren't so bad. Malfoy was actually almost nice and I could stand him being next to me for more than ten seconds. But that didn't excuse the fact that I hated him with every breath in me. He was still Malfoy.

I stumbled my way to my bedroom door, and turned on the lamp. I would sit here and think, for a while, about what I was going to do about... the thing. Whether it was a bean or a baby, I couldn't admit, but sitting here, making myself believe it, would probably help me come to terms with it, I supposed.

The worst thing I could do was abort the baby. I'm not a murderer, and I never will be... but it may help my future stay in track. But I could also have the child, and give it up. Or I could have the baby and keep it... but that was impossible. I couldn't have it and keep it. I have a career to follow and an education to finish. I couldn't do any of that while carrying a baby in my arms.

I was dealing with the pros and cons in each choice I had, when I realized I had fallen asleep. Or not. Maybe I had been thinking for too long. I was on my side, my head facing the digital clock on my bedside table. It was 11:30. So I had fallen asleep.

I turned around to my other side to turn the lamp off. I probably wouldn't be able to go back to bed now. And just as I reached out to flick the light off, I heard gasping from next door. I shot up in bed, and looked instinctively to the wall seperating me from Malfoy's room. I forgot that he was probably home by now.

I crept out of my bed, and turned the knob on my door slowly. I looked to my right, towards Malfoy's room, to see if there had been any disruption of some sort. Through the slit at the bottom of the door, I could see he had turned a light on, and that he was stirring.

Spying on him was a temption option at the moment, but I didn't really feel like it, as I was so hungry suddenly. I didn't know if it was just me, or the... pregnancy acting up, but I felt like eating a feast. I shut my door and walked over to the kitchen.

I opened the fridge, to find that we were well in stock. I took out a bag of bread, vegetables, a generous amount of ham and a plate of cheese. My feast would be my very own giant sandwich.

Soon, my sandwich was made, and I was eating it like I hadn't eaten in years. I could probably empty our whole kitchen, from the way I was still so hungry and almost finished my sandwhich. While thinking of making myself another "feast," I heard footsteps coming my way. I gulped quickly and dropped my sandwich.

"Late night dinner, Granger?"

I sighed. It was Malfoy. And he was looking pretty normal.

"I... uh..." I looked down at my large sandwich, "I was really hungry," I fessed.

He nodded. "Me too, sort of."

I pushed him the bag of bread as he took a seat across from me, and began putting away my sandwich.

"You don't have to leave, you know. I'm only going to be here for a while, seeing as I'm not that hungry." And it was true. He took out two slices of bread and slathered a layer of mayonnaise over one of them. He slapped the other slice onto it, and took a bite. Seeing that made me feel like a pig.

"Okay," I said, picking up my sandwich again. I made sure not to eat sloppy. "So... are you sure you're just hungry or not trying to distract yourself from going to sleep again?"

He snapped his head up, and put his sandwich down.

"Why?" Malfoy asked.

"It's just..." I twiddled with my fingers, after wiping them on a napkin. "I heard you waking up like you were drowning in a pool a few minutes ago."

He nodded grimly.

"The dream again?"

Another grim nod.

"Was it bad?"

Grim nod again.

"Did you get further?"

Insert a million more grim nods here.

I leaned in closer to the counter. He was looking really pale. More paler than me, and I was the one that was pregnant and hiding it from everybody.

"Well... what happened?" I asked.

He ignored the question and chewed slowly on his sandwich.

"What did you mean, it was my fault?" he suddenly questioned.

I went rigid, but quickly recovered.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he said with hesitation, "you just... seem to blame a lot of your pregnancy on me."

Why the heck shouldn't I?

"I'm pregnant, Malfoy. I have mood-swings."

"Yeah," he said, sounding defeated and tired.

I veered the subject to a different direction.

"So, this new class, huh? 'A Beginner Medical Wizards Basic Introduction to Doctoring.' Pretty cool huh?"

"Yeah," Malfoy said, seeming to take the bait. "That's what you want to be right? A medi-wizard?"

I nodded vigorously. It's what I've always wanted to be.

"Yeah. I love using my knowledge to help people."

"I know. I see you volunteering for credit with Madame Pomphrey sometimes."

"Yeah," I said wistfully. I would love nothing more in this world to pursue that dream.

"...How are you going to become a medi-wizard now, Granger?" he asked me, while I was in my dreamland. I snapped quickly out of it.

"There's no reason why I couldn't still be a medi-wizard, Malfoy," I said, somewhat angrily.

"Well, you're pregnant, Granger." He saw me flinch. "And you're going to have to deal with the consequences of being irresponsible."

I glared.

"Me? This coming from you, who's done nothing in his spare time but sleep with every girl in Hogwarts?"

"That's not true!" He contradicted. I stuck my head out further from my neck.

"I sleep next door to you, Malfoy. I don't just hear you snore at night," I reminded with disgust in my voice. He glared at me this time.

"Okay, so I like to have a little fun. At least none of the girls I've slept with have gotten pregnant!"

I scoffed. "You never know, Malfoy, there might be a baby Jr. Draco out there, waddling his feet. It's not like you limit your choice of who to sleep with within the school, anyways."

He stood up from his seat angrily, as if to object, and as if it were a reflex, so did I, expect I reclined so that my back was to the fridge. Usually, with this action, I would have gotten an, "I won't hurt you or your baby," speech but it wasn't what I was afraid of. He chose to narrow his eyes at me instead, although he definitely noticed my lame defensive move.

"Being pregnant suits you, Granger. Now those mood-swings come with a reason."

"Well, being a pure-blooded son of a witch suits you too, Malfoy. I hear they're selling a new line of 'Asswipe' in clothing stores by the way, you should check it out some time." He took a step towards me.

My bravery was wearing very thin.

"I feel sorry for the father of that baby."

I bit my lip. "So do I."

He was inches away from me. I could see his chest heaving with anger, and his eyes weakening from the fight. I was almost sure he was going to do something to me to make me hate him even more, but instead, he sighed, and backed away, tripping against a stool. He steadied himself and sat on it.

"This is so stupid," he muttered, while rubbing his forehead.

He got that right.

"Wow. Has hell freezen over? Did Malfoy just back out of a fight?"

He shook his head. "I'm not about to hit a pregnant woman," he said defeatedly. Well, at least he had some common sense in him.

I nodded, and took up my seat again. We both sat there, looking away from each other, feeling the awkwardness. To keep him calm, I decided I would occupy myself with washing the dishes. It would be best if I wasn't near him.

As I dumped my sandwich in the bin (for I had lost my appetite) and put away the food in the fridge, I paused. Malfoy was staring at me.

"What?" I ventured to ask.

He arched an eyebrow.

"You know, you never said who the father of your baby was."

I tried not to make my shiver go noticed so I shrugged to hide it.

"Yes, I know."

He looked at me expectantly.

"Well then, who's the father?"

I put the dishes in the sink and turned around.

"You don't want to know," I said truthfully.

"Then why am I asking?" he challenged. I sighed.

"Let's just say he's out of the picture."

"I see."

Malfoy stood up and pushed away his plate. I took it, and rinsed it quickly under the sink. I watched him go back to his room.

"Hey," I yelled to him, "you never told me how much further you went into that dream of yours."

He turned around and shrugged. "I reached the door."

"And?" I asked, with anticipation.

"It swung open."

My eyes went oval, half in surprise and half in worry. Oh bugger.

"And who did you see was behind the door...?"

"Someone."

"Who?"

He shrugged. "It was you."

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Hermione behind the door? Why would she ever be behind that door? Hmm... well, Draco's not completely out of the bushes with those dreams, and Hermione isn't even close to being out of the bushes! Review if you hate it or live it please! x


	5. Pretend Everything Is

A/N: Ch-ch-ch-apteer f-f-five!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Pretend Everything Is

**xxxxxx **

_"What are you doing? What's wrong?" _

_"Pansy... why, Pansy, why?"_

_"What are you talking about? Are you okay?"_

_"How could you do this to me? Leave me alone for that bastard Nott?"_

_"Stop it, you're drunk!"_

_I could picture a series of violent movements but everything was so blurry. What was happening here?_

_"STOP!"_

_"Pansy... I love you, I love you - take me back, Pansy..."_

_"STOP IT!"_

_"No, please, Pansy!"_

_"GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALO - "_

_"You're being rather difficult..."_

_"LEAVE ME ALONE."_

I awoke with a jolt. What was going on? That same dream, again? This was becoming more and more ridiculous. I thought they were done, and that the end of my dream was seeing Granger at the door. But really, how could that possibly just be the end?

Beads of sweat were running down the side of my head and I wiped them away quickly. I turned on my lamp and looked around my room. Everything seemed normal, everything seemed fine. But something terrible was bothering me, and I had no idea what it could possibly be.

The last words I said in that dream were eerily familiar. It sent unwanted shivers down my spine, arms and legs. I was shaking. It was as if the dreams were trying to tell me something very important... something I couldn't miss... I shook the thought away.

Granger said to me that night when we were having a late night snack, that her standing in front of the door was the dream telling me to stay away from her, oddly enough. That the reason I was so stressed was because of her and it wasn't good for me. When I heard it, it sounded more like a lame lie then a reasonable excuse.

My watch said it was 5:46 in the morning. Rather early. I turned my lamp off and delved myself deep inside my blanket, as if to prevent the dreams from coming back. Soon, I was drifting back to sleep.

And the ugly nightmare visited me once more.

**xxxxxx **

"You look really tired, mate."

"Yeah, I know Blaise... lots of stuff have been bothering me, that's all."

"What's up, then?" he asked me, trying for a little bit of consoling. I ignored it.

Granger had been on my mind a lot as much as the dreams were lately. I was very worried about her. She'd been hiding her pregnancy for a week now, and soon she would start showing. I would see her during break and class laughing it off with her friends and acting normally, but when she was alone, or thought she was alone at least, she was crying her poor little eyes out. The secret was becoming a terrible burden to her, and I could see it.

"So," Blaise said, trying for a change of topic, "hear about that new doctoring class? It's like a bonus for the N.E.W.T. kids that want to take on the medical field, I heard."

"Yeah," I said, my interest peeking just a little. Very little. "Not many people are taking it. So far I only know that Granger's taking it."

"A handful of Ravenclaws are. It's a pretty small bonus class."

"Wish I could take it, just for the experience."

"Me too. But only because the assistant medi-nurse wears that skimpy uniform that I always go to Mungo's for." He smirked, trying to make me laugh.

"Yeah, I bet it's pretty drafty, huh?"

That got Blaise going. Mission accomplished.

**xxxxxx **

"Today," said a leering voice, "we will be focusing on Transmogrification of the Human Body. What is the defintion of Transmogrification, anyone?"

Usually the first hand that would go up is Grangers. But she's not here today, and Professor Snape has no one to ignore now. I knew the definition, of course, but my mind was too far from the subject to comprehend what he'd been saying. Someone from the room answered his question.

Granger was at the once in a life-time bonus class Blaise and I had talked about. All students taking the one time class offer were given permission to miss their usual block to attend it. Lucky people. I'm sure I would have been learning something much, much more important in there, rather than in here, where it was cold and ugly.

I looked outside the door, and saw a lady in a St. Mungo's uniform wandering about, looking lost. I craned my head to get a better look at her, or rather her legs, but Snape, bloody bastard, blocked my view. He took a peek outside the door, and questioned her.

"May I help you?" he asked, not much in a helpful manner.

She smiled, relieved. "I'm sorry. You just have such a big school here. I'm lost, and as you can see," she held out her arms, which were holding a box of assorted potions, "I'm in need of some help." It looked rather heavy, to be honest.

"I suppose you're on your way to the bonus class?" Snape asked.

"Yes, yes, I am. Could someone please point the way, and maybe help me carry this box?" It lowered in her arms a little, and she gasped while trying to keep it up. Idiot girl, just use magic!

"Malfoy - up," he ordered. I stood up very willingly.

"Take this young lady to the fourth floor in room A57. And levitate her box, on your way, will you?"

The lady blushed, realizing Snape was somewhat reprimanding her for not using her wand to help her with the heavy box. I walked quickly over to her and cast my levitating charm on the box as I did so. She looked at me, relieved, and I left the room, taking the lead in front of her.

"You're school is much too big for me," she said conversationally.

"Yeah, but it gets smaller after seven years." She laughed.

"So you're the assistant medi-nurse, I suppose?" She nodded vigorously.

"Oh, yes. It's my very first assistant job." I smiled at her half-heartedly.

"What are all these potions for?" I asked her, while walking a flight upstairs.

"Professor Sniddly has a surprise for them. She's going to have them transform into someone else in the room, and this is what they'll have to drink in order to do so."

I smiled, very amused. "How exactly does that help in doctoring?"

She nodded, "I thought the same thing too, but changing your appearance by accident is a common thing we see at Mungo's. While they're in another persons form, they're going to have to find an antidote to change themselves back, you know, mixing different things together and stuff like that."

"Well I doubt anyone can get it on their first try," I said.

"Oh no. She's done this many times, and everyone always ends up sprouting wings or an extra eyeball. It's rather amusing."

"What if they make something that could hurt the body that they're in? Like someone uses bark of everlasting tree and is allergic to it?"

"They'll be trading allergy and symptom notes before class starts. There's nothing to worry about, it's very monitored and well thought of."

I smiled, making my last turn for the corridor. "Well, I'm glad. Here we are," I said, making the potions box land in my arms rather than hers. It was a gentlemen thing to do.

"Thanks," she said sincerely. The door off the room was propped open, so she walked in, telling me to follow.

The few people in the room were putting aprons and goggles on, and the girls were tying up their hair. The Professor, who looked like an over-grown squirrel, was telling the class to pay attention. They all looked at her when they were ready, and she smiled.

Around the room, I spotted Granger, sitting beside Hannah Abbott. She saw me in the room, holding the heavy box, and her eyes grew large. I tried to ignore her, but I couldn't. Our eyes locked, and I could tell she was telling me to get lost.

"Alright class. Now that we're all ready, time for me to tell you our surprise project!" I set the potions box aside and went to leave the room, but the Professor stopped me.

She whispered quickly in my ear, "Could I have you hand those out after I'm finished explaining? Susie will be collecting their allergy and symptom notes." I nodded quickly, and she went back talking to the class, beaming. Granger stared at me, obviously wondering why I wasn't leaving, but I looked at the Professor pointedly, trying to tell her to pay attention.

I was listening to her as well. Listening to her put her twist on the project, and watched everyone's eyes in the classroom light up. It seemed like a fun project. No one had ever been able to transform into their classmate. It really wasn't fair that they got all the fun. But Granger didn't look like it was fun at all.

Her eyes were more wide then when I entered the room. They were panicked behind the goggles, and worry was etched on her forehead. Something was bothering her, and I could see it, the way she quickly smiled when Hannah Abbott nudged her in excitement.

"You will be turning into your partners, and this young man will be handing you the transforming potion. You will put your partners nail or hair in it and then drink it. Are we clear on what to do?" The class nodded together, and Professor Sniddly beckoned for me to hand the potions out. I did so quickly.

One by one I handed them out. Each student took it eagerly, and opened it, smelled the contents, putting their partners hair in and then downing it in one gulp. It was hard to laugh at everyone changing because Granger's worried face was stuck in my brain.

I handed one to Hannah Abbott. She pulled a stray hair quickly out of her head, and held it out to Granger, who took it unwillingly.

"Um, give me one second will you, Hannah? I've made a mistake on my allergy and symptoms note."

As she stood up, leaving an impatient Hannah Abbott at the desk, her eyes beckoned me to follow. We went to a quiet corner of the room, where she slapped me on the arm. I looked at her reproachfully.

"Ow! What?" I whispered angrily.

"I'm pregnant that's what!" She exclaimed in a high whisper.

"I realize that Granger, but just to let you know, it's not always about you! Now get back to the project!" I began walking away from her but she pulled me back right in front of her.

"No you stupid oaf! I'm a _pregnant_ student who will have her classmate turn into herself making _her _pregnant and drink something possibly dangerous for the baby!"

My eyes widened. "Oh."

She stared at me angrily. "What do we do?" she asked, very panicky.

I was going to tell her that this wasn't a 'we' thing but all she had was me. I couldn't turn my back on her, when she was so worried the baby was going to get hurt.

"I... well... I don't know - !"

She groaned and stomped her foot. Hannah Abbott was looking rather impatient.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around, looking at the medi-nurse I helped, who I now knew as Susie.

"Thanks for your help. Your Professor is expecting you back, so you should get going." But she wasn't saying it to me. Well, she was, but she was looking at Granger.

"Are... you okay?" she asked Granger.

Granger put on her typical front. "Yes, I'm fine. It's just... I..." she was at a loss for words. No excuse. Even Professor Sniddly began looking at us, wondering why she wasn't starting and why I was still here.

"I - I..." She was looking at me, begging me for help.

"She's sick." I said. She looked at me incredulously.

"Sick?" Susie asked, looking very concerned.

"Yes. And she doesn't want to get her partner sick as well when she turns into her. It's really a very bad cold," insert Granger's fit of coughing here, "and now that she thinks of it, she's doesn't feel well enough to continue."

"Sick, do you say?" Professor Sniddly said, coming up to us. "That's not good. Not good at all." Granger nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry child, but you'll have to skip."

"It's," cough, "fine!" Cough again. She was really laying it on thick, this girl.

"I'll have your partner go in a group of three. In the mean time, you should check in to the Hospital Wing or lay yourself down in bed."

"Yes, Professor Sniddly. Thank you," Hermione said, adding a groan to the end of her sentence.

I walked with her out the door, making sure she kept on faking till she took a step outside of the door. I walked in my seperate direction, towards the Potions classroom, until she caught up with me. I raised my eyebrow.

"What? Forgot to say thank you or something?" I asked her.

"Actually, yes?" she said uncertainly. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Wow. Didn't see that one coming."

She looked around her surroundings as if she were nervous and said, "Yeah... thanks."

I shrugged. "No problem."

"I know I said I wouldn't accept help from you anymore but..."

"I would have offered anyways," I said matter of factly, deciding she didn't need an arguement to stress her out. I would have really loved to say, "Yeah, so stop being a hypocrite and stop asking me for help." But still. Granger was a mood-swingy sort of gal.

She sighed sadly. "I missed a once in a lifetime class. And because of this." She looked down on her stomach, and I could see her eyes well up. Uh-oh. This wasn't my area of experties, if you know what I mean.

I patted her... sort of, on the back, and took a step back. So did she, but I was used to her avoiding and flinching at my touch by now.

"This isn't how it's always going to be," I assured her. But even I wasn't sure of that.

"Yes it will," she said, sniffing. I sighed.

"Well, don't worry, okay? You're going to be fine once everybody knows about it and will stop giving you all these things you can't handle."

Her head snapped up, looking at me completely astonished.

"...What? You thought you'd be keeping this a secret forever?"

"No, no, of course not! It's just... I haven't even thought of telling... _everyone._"

"...Well, you're going to have to. Potter, Weasley... _Dumbledore, _and your parents. All those important people. Oh, and the father," I added.

She was looking terribly uncomfortable. I shook my head and changed the subject very quickly.

"Don't worry about it though. Those times won't be coming anytime soon, so... you'll have lots of time to prepare yourself for it."

"Yeah. And in the mean time, I'll just pretend." she scoffed bitterly at herself. Her stomach grumbled after doing so, and she rubbed it embarassingly.

Amazingly, I smiled. Everyone was in class, the professors were teaching and Filch was doing his caretaker duties outside. And it wouldn't be my first time skipping potions... and Granger was supposed to be in bed, but who cared about that?

"Do you want to go to kitchens?" she looked up at me, surprised.

"The kitchens...?"

"Yeah. Tickle the pair, have a grand old feast. You in?" I smiled again.

She looked almost excited to do so. I'm sure Granger's never skipped class before. But then her shoulders drooped and she shook her head.

"I... I can't. I should be in the dorm resting. I could use it."

I raised my eyebrow. "No, Granger, you should be in the kitchens eating. You definitely could use it," for I just heard another grumble come from her stomach. Granger looked down on it, as if asking it whether it wanted to. When she looked up again, she was smiling.

"Oh, what the heck? I'm ravenous!"

And soon we were on our way to tickle the pear, and eat our hearts out. The fun I had doing something bad with someone who's never done _anything_ bad was intoxicating. Like teaching a caveman how to light a lighter. It made me forget momentarily about my nasty nightmares, and for Granger, her inconvenient pregnancy.

Long live the kitchens!

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: What's this? Are they being nice to each other? Is Hermione not always declining Draco's sympathetic touches? Is Draco having insanely odd nightmares that could lead to something that will ruin a growing friendship? He may well be! To find out sooner, read and review! Love you guys! x).


	6. Choking On Your Alibis

A/N: Chapter six, in the mix! ...Corny rhyme, I know (: Btw, now would be a really good time for me to mention (since I forgot on the first chapter and the others... haha!) that this is not HBP compatible. Dumbledore's alive, and I would very much like to always keep it that way in my fics (:

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Choking On Your Alibis

**xxxxxx **

Hungry no more!

Well, for now anyways.

What an amazing early lunch I had. Although I do hate ordering around house elves, who honestly need some more good living conditions because I honest to God mistook one for a rack of used mops (even though it was moving), they are great servers, and everything I wanted they gave to me! Forget the Great Hall for lunch! Go to the kitchens!

And I may even go far enough to admit that a quarter... okay, maybe a half of my enjoyment could be credited towards Malfoy. Don't get me wrong, he's still a disgusting, evil bouncing ferret, but not so much disgusting and evil. Everytime I moved to get something he was suddenly stopping me, offering to get it.

"Not with that stomach you are!" he would object. And I'm not entirely sure he was speaking of the food it currently contained.

My happiness however, was short lived, even up to now. When I thought of the food I ate, I thought of how fat I would be getting. And then I thought of how much good all the food was going to do to the baby and then I thought of my untimely pregnancy. I lapsed back into my ugly depression (this side of me only shown to Malfoy because he knows) and started loathing him once more. I'm sure he realized that I was back to hating him, but you know, Malfoy. Always pretending he doesn't care.

I pondered long and very hard about what he said to me before we skipped off to the kitchens. He told me I would have to tell everyone, Dumbledore, Harry and Ron sooner or later. How much sooner? How much later? All these questions were bothering me so much and interfering with everything I did, that maybe, I decided, the best time to do it would be... well, now.

How many more lies would I have to tell to my friends? How many sleepless nights would I have to endure? When would I begin to show and how will my classmates react to this piece of unbelievable news? So many questions.

I would end the list all those questions, I would tell myself, now. Now, now, now.

I just hoped I would follow through.

**xxxxxx **

"So why can't you come to Parvati's party again?" Ron asked me, over a steaming brew of something that smelt like burning tar.

"Because," I explained for the millionth time, "I have much to much to do tonight. Homework, rounds... I'll never be able to finish it all if I go." Of course, this was a lie. I wasn't going because there would be alcohol and that wasn't good at all for the baby. I thought to myself I could always not drink it, but they would ask me why, and I was too exhausted to lie to everyone, which is what I've been doing a lot lately.

Ron slouched over the brew. "You never have time for anything anymore, you know? All these Head Girl duties are taking up all of your free time." Head Girl duties? More like pregnancy worries.

"I know, and I'm sorry about that. It's going to be the weekend soon, right? I'll have plenty of time to be with you and Harry then."

"Not unless you've got another Head Girl duty lined up for you."

I sighed and gave up. When Ron was in a bad mood, you knew not to push the matter further or else he'd just be in a worser mood. I was glad to have Harry join us a few seconds later.

"You guys have a spare next period, right?" he said, immediately getting to the point. We both nodded. "Well, Ernie's going to have all of us go to Hagrid's and maybe check out that new creature every kid in the school is talking about."

I smiled widely. "The rictittus? The single-sex species that's able to sense absolutely everything around it?"

"Yeah, that one!" He twittered gleefully. Ron jumped in quickly.

"Is it true that it breathes fire?"

"Well we'll find out for sure a bit later." Ron smirked.

"We also hear it's attracted to eggs. Eats them up straight away in a single gulp."

"Eggs?" Harry questioned.

"Yeah. Like un-born things. Even babies. It'll even eat the mother if it has too."

My smile immediately faded. I had forgotten that very important fact. They're famous for eating not only eggs of every kind, but the mother of the eggs. It's been known to eat human mothers too... I sighed, preparing myself for another excuse to give out to my always trusting best friends. I felt guilty enough already just thinking about having to lie to them.

"Oh... guys, I'm sorry," they turned to me with such boyish grins, "I... I can't." I'm not sure what I was referring to when I said that. Ron immediately frowned.

"Why? We were all up for it not ten seconds ago!"

"Because... because I'm tired," I said, with some sort of realization in my voice. I'm not quite sure what sort though.

Harry looked at me ojbectively. "Tired? Come on, Hermione, you deserve some free time! Please, just quit being the Head Girl for once and come with us. It's going to be so much fun. Besides, I've already told Ernie you're going to come, and I don't want to lie to him and tell him you're occupied."

"I don't want to lie either," I said. I'm not even sure if I was talking to them anymore. Perhaps I was talking to myself. "And Harry, you wouldn't be lying if you said I was occupied," for I did have a child in me anyways, "so please tell Ernie I'm sorry, because next period I have some important business to attend to."

"Important business? Important business like what?" Ron asked me.

I bit my lip, and lapsed into thought. Did I really want to do this? It had only been a few weeks since I'd found out, but should the whole world know soon after me? But then I thought about Harry and Ron. I'd lied to them twice in one minute. I didn't want to lie to them, even if it was for a good reason. I decided then, that yes, I did want to do this.

"Important business like an appointment with Dumbledore."

The bell rang, and before I could see their questioning looks, I was already out the door, looking for Malfoy.

**xxxxxx **

I was glad to catch him up in the dorm, studying his Ancient Runes. Like myself, he had a spare, and had all this free time on his hands. I was very glad, come to think of it.

"Hi," I said, a little breathless form rushing to the room.

"Hey," he said. I suppose he was rather surprised I'd begun talking to him again. My pattern of speaking to him and then ignoring him completely was tiring him out from the looks of his pale face.

"Busy?" I asked. Wow. Mono-syllables.

"Nope. Why?"

"Because - " and then I stopped in my sentence, because I just noticed his very baggy eyes. "Did I catch you sleep-reading or something? You look tired."

He rubbed his eyes quickly after I said this, and blinked a fair few times. He shrugged it off.

"No... it's nothing. Just those nasty dreams." He really did sound disgusted by them. I was curious now.

"Why? Have you gotten very far into them now?" I asked. Maybe this was a bad idea. I was the stupid one that told him to stay away from me so he would stop having those dreams, but here I was about to ask him for help. Instead of kicking myself I let him talk.

"Every now and then," he said quickly, shrugging again. He was avoiding the question, so I supposed if he didn't want to talk about it then we wouldn't.

"Okay... well, nevermind, I should let you have some quiet."

"No - it's fine. This is boring anyways," he shut his textbook, "what's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said with a quiet voice at first. And then I looked up with a proud look on my face, "except I've decided I'm going to tell Dumbledore."

He looked at me with great surprise.

"Are you - are you serious?" I beamed, although I was nervous as Hell.

"Yes!"

He almost smiled at me, but then it was quickly gone from his face. He looked at me with suspicion and crossed his arms slowly. What? Did I say something other than me very well telling the whole school I was with-child?

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked somewhat meanly. I gaped. I didn't even know myself.

"...Well... I..." I was stumped.

He continued to stare.

"I thought maybe... I could have you there with me for moral support?"

His eyes went from a little surprised, to very astonished, to completely shocked.

"Me."

"...Yes?"

"Me?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

I sighed exasperatedly.

"Because you're the only one that knows and I can't do this by myself!"

There. I said it.

He smirked. "Well, since you need me ever so badly... I suppose I could come with you to the door maybe. We'll see how things go after that." He stood up and walked without me to the door. He held it open slightly and stuck half his body outside. "Well. Are you going to tell the word you're pregnant or what, Granger? I haven't got all day, you know." I rolled my eyes.

The bloody bastard.

**xxxxxx **

So. I made it right up to his office entrance. That was the good news.

The bad news was that I was seriously chickening out.

"Just. _Get. _In there!" Malfoy commanded me. Yipes. He was angry. I certainly didn't like it when he was angry.

"But I - I - this was a bad idea. Perhaps we could do it later?"

"You didn't drag me all the way with you screaming and panting - "

"You were not - !"

"Just so you could back out!"

I stomped childishly on the ground and crossed my arms. He was looking at me as if I had just refused to cash a million galleon cheque at Gringotts. It was _my_ choice when I wanted to do it, or whether or not I even _wanted_ to do it. Who had to know? I could always just polyjuice myself to look like a new foreign student while I was apparently over seas taking care of kids in Soho...

"Granger, _get_ your bloody self in there before I _push _you in myself!"

"You can't make me!"

"Oh yes I can."

I narrowed my eyes, challenging him. "And how exactly could you do that?"

He took out his wand casually after I said that, and I scoffed. Did he really think jinxing me or threatening to put a nasty charm on me would do anything? I could deflect anything with the flick of my own wand, for Merlin's sake.

"Oh... so you're going to curse me into oblivion are you?"

He smiled a crooked smile.

"You're ticklish, right, Granger? Been known for not being able to deflect a tickling spell in time?"

My eyes widened in fear, and before he could even finish his last sentence, I yelled Dumbledore's password to the awaiting gargoyle and jumped into the elevator-like spiral, not waiting up for him. He smiled and hopped in next to me with a triumphant smirk. How I wish I could wipe that smirk off his everytime he did.

He immediately began rehearsing me as we slowly went up to his office.

"So what are we here to do again?" he asked. I glared at him from the side of my eyes, and sighed.

"We're going to tell Dumbledore that I'm..." he looked at me sternly. "That I'm _pregnant,_" I bit out. I couldn't help but flinch/shiver when I did.

"And why are you going to tell him?" he asked pointedly.

"Because keeping this secret is a heavy burden, and I wouldn't want to put myself through that," I said, as if reading off a script.

"What do you want to do for the duration of the remaining school days?"

"Continue to go to my ordinary classes and do my daily routine, except on sick days, check-up days, and lamaze classes."

"What are you going to do with the baby?"

"Give birth to it... and then we'll see how things go."

He nodded, and stepped out of the spiral elevator, for it had just stopped, revealing Dumbledore's double doors. I followed suit, and stopped where he had, for he paused and looked at me seriously. He put a cautious hand to the door, and looked at me intently.

"Will you tell him who the father is?"

I wasn't expecting that question.

"I... well..." I straightened up my nervous composure. "We'll see."

He nodded, accepting it, and pushed the double doors aside, letting me go through first.

Dumbledore sat comfortably on his large chair, his fingers entertwined in a triangular shape. He smiled, like he already knew we were coming, and greeted us warmly.

"Mr Malfoy, Ms Granger, do come in."

We smiled (well, actually, just me. Malfoy sort of... nodded) and took awkward seats on the guest chairs that were placed before his desk.

"To what do I owe this visit from my Head Boy and Head Girl?" his eyes twinkled.

I said nothing.

Malfoy nudged me softly with the end of his foot and none to subtely jerked his head towards Dumbledore, urging me to start talking.

Taking care of kids in Soho was looking like a really good idea right about now.

I sighed. I would give this my all and be as truthful as possible. Besides, what did I have to lose?

"Professor... I have to tell you something."

**xxxxxx **

Wow. So Dumbledore was taking this pretty well. I'd seen the occasional widening of eyes and look of disbelief but on the whole, one may have thought that he had just received the news that his third cousin twice removed was... well, removed again. Even Malfoy was surprised. But, I knew he wouldn't take it bad even before I stepped in here. Dumbledore's not one to judge.

After a lot of explaining and confessing, and an almost meltdown (not that I said almost. I held myself together thank you very much) he analyzed me through his half-moon spectacles, with his lips persed together.

"So you are very sure you would like to give birth to this baby, Ms Granger?" Dumbledore asked me. I nodded immediately. No way in Merlin's beard was I going to let it die or kill it. I wasn't, or never will be like that.

He smiled at me, like he was hoping I was sure, and turned to Malfoy.

"Aside from Mr Potter and Mr Weasley, do you intend on taking care of Ms Granger, when they are unavailable or cannot be with her at certain times?"

Malfoy looked quite surprised at the question and hesitated only for a moment. He gave Dumbledore a very curt nod, like he was reluctant, but didn't care.

"Do you think you may need some financial help in the nine months to come?"

I didn't think so. I mean I was very well off... I'd been working in Flourish and Blotts part time for two years now, and I'd saved up, mostly for a place of my own when I graduated, but I suppose it would be better off being used for the baby.

"No, sir, I don't think so." Dumbledore nodded and placed his hands on his desk.

"Well, the school shall be here for you if you do need some help of any sort." I beamed, and was very glad to have received that positive comment.

"Who, other than Mr Malfoy knows?" he questioned once more.

I looked down shyly, and shrugged. "No one."

"I suppose then, that after telling me, you were planning on telling your school mates and your family?"

"Yes," I answered with a small voice.

He smiled, noticing my worry and nervousness at just the thought of telling them, and looked at me sympathetically.

"Ms Granger, it is no crime to be with-child. It is, in fact, a tremendous gift, and a blessing. I have no doubt that you deciding to tell the school about this and keep the baby will have your classmates rallying behind you with immense pride. The only thing you will have to overcome is telling them and you have done almost half of that now by telling me."

I smiled, thinking it was indeed, as simple as Dumbledore was explaining to me. Keep the baby, tell the school, and have everyone support me. Financially, I was pretty good, and it wasn't as if I was dirt poor... I almost stopped worrying right then. But I knew even with the school behind me, I would have plenty of hard times to overcome.

"Thank you for telling me this, Ms Granger," Dumbledore told me, while standing up. His arms rose in the air, like they always did when welcoming the school on the first day of school. "I look forward to the birth of your child and whatever obstacles that may come your way. I'm sure you will face them head on."

I blushed at the sincerity in his voice, and thanked him quietly, while turning around to the door. I could tell Malfoy was beginning to follow me out, not even bading Dumbledore goodbye, but the Headmasters voice stopped me as I was inches away from leaving.

"Oh, and Ms Granger?" he called out.

"Yes?" I asked him.

"Please stay for one moment. I'd like to ask you one more thing. Mr Malfoy, if you plan on waiting for her, could you please do so outside my doors?" Although he said it questioningly, I knew it was an order. Malfoy, without word or complaint, looked at me as if to say, "Go on. You can do the rest without me," and stepped outside the doors.

Dumbledore waited till he heard the clunk of the wood and stepped around his desk so that he was standing right in front of me.

"My dear, I thought it would be inappopriate to ask in front of your new friend," friend? Who? Malfoy? Pshaw, "but if I may inquire... who is the father of your child?"

I froze in my spot. Was Malfoy still outside waiting for me or was he listening? I didnt want anybody to know. Not Harry, Ron, Dumbledore... especially Malfoy. Would telling Dumbledore be a very big mistake? Or would it be a great relief? I didn't know. Dumbledore watched me cloesly, and I looked away from him.

"I... Professor... I'd like to speak to him myself first before I tell anybody."

He nodded understandingly and released me from his gaze. Relieved, I backed away quickly, and bade him a quick goodbye. I stumbled out the door, and in my hurry, right into Malfoy as well. I shut the door loudly behind me, and found that Malfoy's hands hand me in a tight grip around the shoulders. I was scared intensely out of my mind.

"What the - " I whispered angrily, after I stopped myself from screaming.

"Whoa, Granger. Watch yourself." He let go of me slowly, and made sure I was steady before he let me go. I was glad when he had finally done so. "What did he say?" he asked shortly after.

I shrugged. "Just some other important things." I was still a little shaky from his iron-grip.

"Like?" he asked.

"Nothing you should be asking about right now," I said angrily. He narrowed his eyes, and glared straight into me. "What? It's nothing you need to worry about right now!"

He sighed. "Well. Glad you got that over with."

I really smiled for the first time in a long while.

"Me too. I'm so... light." I said. An odd choice of words, but true.

Malfoy almost laughed at me, for a did a silly little jiggle to show my delight, and stopped walking.

"So did you mean what you said to him? You're going to tell everyone else soon?"

My joy, again, was short lived.

"I've got no other choice, have I?"

He looked at my sympathetically. Almost as if he were scared for me... nah.

"Well, just... do it soon."

"Right." I answered, a little uncomfortably.

"I'm going up to the common room. Have a little rest before my next period."

I nodded. "Okay. Bye," I said curtly. He walked away awkwardly, and I watched him go. He trotted up the stairs, onto a high floor, and into an empty hallway, and was gone. I sighed.

Malfoy was going to bed, where perhaps he may have another nasty dream. I decided I would put an end to his nightmares very quickly. But doing that and how I would was far from my worries right now...

So, the hard part was over. Now, Harry, Ron, my parents... and just about the whole school left to tell. I had to repeat this to myself over and over again to keep me sane, up to the day on which I would confess to all. I smiled a little.

The hard part was over.

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Is it really? IS the hard part over? HMM? HMM? Will our poor little Hermione have many more to come? Who knows! And how will she ever put an end to Draco's ugly nightmares, which continue to lead him further to an uglier truth? Who knows... ah, who knows. Read on to find out! Review if you hate it or love it! Thanks guys!


	7. The One That Takes You

A/N: Consider this my Christmas present for you wonderful people! Happy Holidays!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

The One That Takes You

**xxxxxx **

_Please stop - don't - please.._

I shot up from my bed again, sweat dripping like rain drops down my face and panting like I'd just ran a cross country race.

Blast those nasty dreams.

They were coming so much more often now. I thought if I just cleared my head everytime before I went to bed they would go away but almost three nights in a row they would always come back, either repeating themselves or showing something new. Tonight, they'd added a horrible sobbing and pleading, which scared the life out of me just hearing it.

I researched why dreams could be repetitive or why they might keep repeating themselves and continue with another scene in the library, and I'd find out that either it was a premonition (which was rare, if you're not a Seer) or something that had already happened and your mind was trying to make you remember, triggered by sudden events. I'm pretty sure I could cross out the premontion option. I just didn't know what may have already happened.

I could tell Granger could hear me panting from the next room. I could feel her worry miles away and her stirring from the wall that seperated us. She was scared for me, and I almost appreciated her caring.

I went with her to see Dumbledore, and she'd told him that soon she would tell everyone else. But she hadn't. Two very long weeks had passed, filled with nightmares, rehearsing of the words and urging to hurry up and come out with it. But still she hadn't. I knew that I shouldn't be urging her to tell, because she would do it when she was ready, but I thought that once _they_ knew then the burden would be lifted off my back as well... and maybe stop those dreams.

But it was very doubtful.

The morning after, however, she had an odd look of determination on her face, and I'd questioned her the minute I'd gotten out of the bathroom. I found her at our kitchen counter, squeezing an apple, not eating it. She looked up at me and then looked away.

"What's up?" I asked her. I'd been asking her that a lot lately.

"Nothing," she said noncholantly. I shrugged and pulled out a bowl from one of the cupboards and poured a hefty amount of cereal in it which I retrieved from one of our counter tops. I then took out a glass and poured some pumpkin juice into it, taking only a sip.

"You look weird," I told her after getting a few bites of my breakfast.

She glared at me and put (slammed) the apple back in our fruit basket. "That wouldn't be the first time you've told me that," Granger snapped, digging her hands in her pocket.

"Sheesh," I said, backing off. I guess it was really true that girls got mood swings when they were pregnant. "Why so frustrated, Granger? I mean, I know you've been acting like a nut case for a while but this is just a little odd."

She rubbed both her temples with one hand, while keeping the other one in her pocket.

"I... I've decided I was going to tell them today," Granger answered nervously. "And I'm so stressed because I've been thinking all night about how to start, what to say, what to do, but I've got absolutely nothing!"

Obviously by them she meant Potter, Weasley, her parents, and most probably the whole school. I picked nervously at my bowl of food with my spoon, not knowing how to react to that.

"Well... just say whatever first comes to mind," I offered lamely. She just glared at me. "What?" I asked her defensively, "I'm not an expert on telling my best friends I'm pregnant, okay, so don't expect some astonishingly amazing advice." Granger raised her eyebrows. Gracefully, she picked up the apple again and began squeezing it with one hand, obviously thinking.

"You just came out of the bathroom."

...Okay.

"Yeah? So?"

She took a step towards me (which usually she never does) and gave me a disgusted look.

"You just came out of the bathroom and didn't even bother to wash your hands!"

I looked down on them, half of them flakey because they'd hand-picked some of the cereal. I shrugged.

"Yeah, but - "

"Go wash your hands!" Granger suddenly said, now very near me and pushing me towards the bathroom.

"What? But I - "

"Now, Malfoy! That's disgusting!"

I glared at Grangerr from what view I had of her. She couldn't be serious, could she?

I'd stumbled into the bathroom, knocking over a few towels that were stacked against the wall. I'd grabbed onto them for support, only to thrust them all around. One even left the room as I thrashed around, trying to stop myself from entering. Granger shut the door, and from what I could hear, began walking quickly back to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes. Mood swings.

Unwillingly, I began picking up the towels and not bothering to re-roll them before I washed my hands. I hung them instead, on whatever I could see had somewhat of a hook on it. Remembering I'd thrown some outside of the bathroom, I opened it quickly, and walked out, before Granger could question whether or not I'd washed them yet.

But I didn't pick up the towel.

Granger was holding a thin flask of a white liquid and holding it over a glass. She looked up, obviously not expecting to see me outside so quickly, and put both items behind her back. She put on an innocent face, but it didn't work for me. What was she doing?

"Granger, what are you doing?" I asked, as if I'd just caught her trying to smuggle some of my stuff outside of the dorm.

"Nothing," she said, a little too quickly. I craned my neck and went on my tip toes to try and see what she held behind her hands. "It's nothing," she repeated, "really, it's just this potion I'm testing, want to see if it works, you know? It has to have a proper run through, so obviously I - "

But while she'd been talking I'd walked like a bullet towards her before she could even notice, and pulled the glass and flask out of her hands. She gasped a little, not knowing how fast I could be, and looked at me reproachfully. Oh well.

"What's this?" I questioned, holding up my pumpkin juice and the flask. "Trying to test it on me, are you now?" I asked her. She looked at me nervously and tried to get it back but I pulled it away from her.

"Give it back, Malfoy!" she complained. I eyed the contents of the flask instead of listen to her.

"...White... liquid... somewhat gooey... not Veritaserum... definitely not bubble juice..." Her eyes widened in panic and she tried to swipe it away from me.

"Malfoy - really - "

I undid the clasp of the flask and wafted the smell towards me. I ignored Granger's ranting to give it back to her. With my free hand, I took my index and middle finger, dipped it in slowly, and brought the gooey white thing up to my lips. I let it touch and smoothed it around. I'd tasted this before. My Father would force it down my throat if I'd wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares and bother him. I looked at Granger inredulously.

"What the hell?" I asked, while spitting out the goo from my lips.

"Damn," she muttered under her breath, not looking me in the eye.

"Dreamless sleep potion, Granger? Why? Why were you slipping it into my drink?"

She looked away from me and stood there, the cogs in her head working like mad to give her an excuse for what she was doing. I could see it clearly from the way she fidgeted uncomfortably and cleared her throat countless times.

"...I didn't want you having those dreams anymore."

So far I could tell that that was the truth.

"And why not?" I interrogated, somewhat meanly.

Granger looked at me with narrowed eyes and tried to look calm and cool. Who was she trying to kid?

"They're terrible dreams, and they continue to affect your academic life, which more than often includes me. I don't like how it's taking up so much of your time and distracting you from the important things," she explained matter-of-factly, with her arms now crossed. I gave her a sketchy look and pursed my lips.

"Well who knows, Granger? I might want to be having these dreams. They could tell me something important."

She looked at me with unbelieving eyes.

"If they could, you probably wouldn't want to know!" she yelled. Holy geesh. I was right in front of her for goodness sake.

I sighed and emptied the potion, letting it drain in the sink. She looked at me angrily but I let the water wash it away and down the plumbing anyways. I gave the flask back to her, which she took back grudgingly then gave her my most authoritative look.

"Take your own advice for once, Granger, and mind your own business. These dreams are my dreams, and I'll make of them what I will. So until further notice, don't ask me anymore about them, unless I do first. Okay, Granger?"

She stood there grumpily, arms crossed, head cocked up forward, looking anywhere but at me. I searched her eyes, looking for an answer there, the real answer, as to why she didn't want me having the dreams. Granger, I now noticed, was more concerned about them than she should have been, and I just thought it was plain worry. But now, I could see something lay beyond the worry, which only made me worry just as much. This is all that I was thinking in the million years it took for her to finally respond.

"Fine," and then she nodded reluctantly, making me ease on the subject for now.

But not for long.

**xxxxxx**

I was watching Granger very closely.

The way she twisted her robes in her fingers, looking back from Potter to Weasley with anxious eyes. She was going to tell them soon after this class, I could tell.

Potter would twist around in his seat, and catch Granger's eye. She would smile at him meekly, and he would return it, not thinking anything of the worry that was easily seen through it. He would nudge Weasley and tell him something funny, to which he would laugh at and tell Granger. She would laugh as well, but I could hear it, and I knew it was forced.

The bell rang ominously throughout the room, and Granger gasped. Perhaps she wasn't expecting it to come so soon.

"Let's go," Blaise said to me, while beginning to pack up his things, "I'm starving."

"I'll catch up with you," I said dismissively, "Professor says he wanted to see me after class on the report he handed back to me today." Of course that was a lie.

Blaise smirked and slapped me on the shoulder. "I knew you couldn't be that smart. What'd you get, mate? An 'E'? Maybe an 'A'?" I gave him a sarcastic look.

"A 'P,' you idiot. And it's only because I didn't understand the concept." A lie once again. I just wanted to hear what Granger had to say to Potter and Weasley.

Blaise choked out a laugh and patted me harder on the back, as if I was the one holding back laughter. "Oh wow. This is too good." I gave him another sarcastic look after he left, all smiles and laughter. After he'd disappeared through the door, I slowly followed, parking myself a ways away from the door, which I purposefully left slightly ajar, so I could hear Granger's voice.

The golden trio were the only people left in the room.

"Coming to lunch, Hermione?" Weasley asked her.

She paused. I couldn't tell what she was doing, but my bets were that was she twisting her robes again.

"What's up?" Weasley asked, after she didn't answer.

Granger didn't respond. She wasn't ready. The silence she was giving off was enough to tell me she wasn't even close to ready. I sighed and took a tiny step forward. Maybe I would interfere, and save her from the situation.

"I..." Granger started off weakly. I slapped my head. She was already screwing up. "I have to tell you guys something," she said more confidently. My mouth gaped.

"What is it?" Harry asked, now worried. I could almost picture him holding her shoulder, trying to support her.

"It's important, and completely unbelievable, but you have to believe me when I tell you. I've long since accepted it, so please just listen to me and don't freak out. And you have to promise not to kill whoever's... done it to me, if I choose to tell you."

"What do you mean? What do you mean who's done it to you, Hermione?" Harry questioned, probably dying for her confession now. My ears perked slightly.

"It's like this..." Granger began, starting from three weeks back. Had it already been almost a month? No wonder she'd decided to tell them now rather than later. It's been three months, and Granger was obviously getting fatter and wearing baggier clothes to hide it. She couldn't let the rumours start and let Potter and Weasley find out from somewhere else.

She began from the very beginning. How'd she had missed her period and began puking almost on a daily basis. She had never mentioned me, and I was a little angered by that.

"Oh my God..." Weasley said, taking it in much too quickly. "Hermione, please, please don't tell me..."

She was about this close to crying. Her voice cracked everytime she spoke and Potter had not even said anything.

"Ron, please," Hermione said, "I've already told Dumbledore and he thinks it's fine. Amazing in fact. Please tell me you feel the same way about this."

"About... about you being - Oh God, I can't even say it," he said, as if he were the one that was confessing.

"Harry... Ron," Granger said, and I could detect some happiness there, "I'm... I'm pregnant."

I acted like I had just received the news myself. My eyes widened in disbelief, shocked she had finally done it. My hands thrashed about, in a sort of "Did she do it? Did she really do it?" kind of thrashing, all the while holding back my crys of "Holy shit!"

They were both silent. I didn't know how they would take it but I didn't think it would be like this. It was either they happy, sad, or angry about it. Not... so quiet.

"I... can't - Hermione..."

"Ron, it's not as bad as you think. I've begun accepting it and... and I'm keeping it," Granger said proudly.

I think Weasley smiled after that.

"Hermione, I always knew you were never one to give up on things. Even on babies," he said, laughing, although a little but like a lunatic. "I'm... proud of you, Hermione. And I'm with you till the end," he said. They hugged, I think.

When they parted, I could almost feel Granger's eyes on Potter. He hadn't said anything so far, and I almost thought he would bolt out of the room, catching me eavesdropping. But he didn't. He didn't even congratulate her or ask her how long this had been going on. Not even who else she'd told.

"Well, Harry? What do you think?" she said, trying to sound relieved. But she wasn't relieved yet. Not until Potter said something.

"Who's the father?" he asked sternly.

She began to tumble on her words. "What - what do you mean, Ha - "

"I mean who did this to you? Who gave you the baby?"

"...It's not important right now - "

"Yes it is! Hermione, we know, Ron and I know, that you wouldn't give yourself up at this age. You were going to wait till marriage, we both knew it! Either you were forced or seduced, Hermione. Who did this to you?"

I could tell she was outraged.

"What makes you think I didn't want this? Maybe I did. Maybe I loved someone enough to share the most precious thing I had with him! Maybe I didn't ask for a baby but it's a blessing nonetheless!"

Potter's tone softened, obviously sorry for putting it that way.

"Hermione, I didn't mean it like that. I... of course. You're much too responsible to get into anything like that. You're my Hermione," he said, with a great sense of caring in his voice. I moved closer to the door, and I could see him holding both her hands tightly, supporting her like there was nothing more in the world he had to do right now except hold her.

"I'm with Ron on this one. I'm with you till the end, and whatever you decide to do, I will back you up one hundred percent."

That was when Granger began crying into his shoulder. Weasley moved in, soothing her by rubbing her back. He burried his face into her shoulder, and for a second I thought he was crying. Maybe. I couldn't really see from where I was standing. If I hadn't been the Slytherin I was I would have found the scene completely heart-warming.

"Hermione... it's okay. You've got us now."

She weeped happily into Potter's shoulder, glad that they had accepted the pregnancy they way they did. Potter and Weasley down... parents and the whole school left to go.

"Thank you. Thank you both so much for... everything," she said. I don't think she could have put it into words. She pryed herself away from Potter, trying to support herself now. "Now... please, do me a favour?" she asked them, wiping at her eyes.

"Anything," Weasley said. And his voice was scratchy. I think he _was_ crying.

"I need to tell my parents. I've got to tell them now before I lose whatever courage I have left in me. I've used it all up on telling you two," she said in a funny, angrily way. "Could you help me tell them?"

Potter linked his arm in hers. Weasley followed suit with Granger's other arm. I began backing away from the door, inch by inch.

"I'm with you till the end, Granger," Harry said confidently, taking her to the door.

"As am I," Ron said, with a try-hard noble voice. Granger giggled.

"Then let's go!"

And before they skipped merrily out of the room, arm in arm on their way to who knows where, I was already gone, leaving not a trace of a hint that I had been listening.

**xxxxxx **

"Holy Merlin. Did you hear? Hermione Granger is pregnant!"

"Is it true? Is Hermione pregnant?"

"I never expected it! No way!"

"Obviously this isn't true guys, would you drop it?"

There were so many different things I could hear in the hallways about Granger being pregnant. Only one day had passed and already the whole school knew about it. Even the stupid first years, talking like it was their business even though they hardly knew the girl. Every corner I turned, every hallway I walked through, people would have their mouths cupped, lips moving, already in deep gossip about the latest news.

I was in the Great Hall, where about half the school was glued to the Gryffindor table in a large cluster of people asking Granger if the rumours were true. I didn't have to be near in order for me to hear, because practically everyone was shouting.

"Hermione, you can't be serious! You are pregnant?"

I wouldn't hear her answer, but everytime the question was thrown in a raucous noise of squeals and giggles would follow.

"That's so unexpected but so amazing! The girls and I could get you some baby clothes for Christmas! What do you think of baby blue pyjamas of sheep if it's a boy?" And they were back into business.

I was feeling quite miserable today.

I felt somewhat special, being the only one that knew. Now, the whole school including her parents knew (rumour had it that Granger went up to the owlery with Potter and Weasley to owl the news to them, and just this morning they sent her a letter back, telling her of how they never expected this of her but would support her nonetheless) and I was falling back into my regular routine with her, no more plotting to somehow keep it a secret.

And to make matters completely, horribly, and frighteningly worse, was that I had finished the dream. And I didn't like it.

"Hermione? Can I be the God-mother?"

"Oh, Parvati, that's very nice of you to ask but..."

"Do you think maybe if it's a girl you could name it after me?"

"Well, Lavender, I have yet to discuss that but - "

"Ms Granger, I hope that this won't cause a disruption in any of your classes."

"Oh, no Professor, I'll be fine."

"Let me be the first one to hold your baby, Hermione!"

"That would be nice, Collin but I'm the Mother..."

The chatter went on and on. I thought there would be a few people against this, making fun of her and mocking her for getting knocked up, but it was only the people that didn't know her very much that did. So that would be a handful of Slytherins, and a few of the older portraits around the castle. But on the whole, people were treating her very nicely, and I was really glad about that. People accepted it.

"Hey! Give the girl some air, would you?" Weasley yelled to the crowd. "She's just pregnant people, no big deal." He grinned down at her, for he had stood up on the bench and yelled it to everyone. They all laughed and he sat down, kissing Granger brotherly on the cheek. She looked more happy than ever.

"So this baby... you're naming it after me, right?" Potter exclaimed to the crowd. I rolled my eyes and heard Blaise scoff beside me. The crowd errupted in boos and began telling Granger for it to be their name instead. She grinned like a fool.

I stood up, getting ready to leave this overly happy crowd. I was happy for Granger, of course, I wouldn't want anybody to be acting like this towards me, but they were getting much too corny, even for a Gryffindors. Besides, I didn't like it when everyone around me was so happy while I was miserable. The dreams had really gotten to me.

I was almost on my way out the door until I heard a voice drawl out.

"My, oh my. I can't believe it. Virgin prude Hermione Granger is now pregnant!" The guy who said it began clapping. I noticed that he was a measley sixth year Slytherin who even I didn't like. His name was Marcus, and he thought the world of himself. I'd been given detention for cussing him out and putting a Bat Bogey Hex on him. But he deserved it.

Potter got up from his seat, and put a hand on Granger's shoulder protectively, who's smile had now disappeared. I stayed still in my spot, watching the scene unfold.

"If you or anyone else has a problem with Hermione's pregnancy, just get out of here. Your presence right now is making me want to take you out."

Marcus smirked. "Come on. This girl was a geeky bookworm, probably the most potential witch ever to come to Hogwarts, and now she's knocked up. Don't tell me none of you find this hilarious."

The Professors had noticed this by now. They were looking up angrily from their dinners, with shocked faces. They had never heard such words come out of a Hogwarts students' mouth before.

"Mr Miles, if you are on your way out of the Great Hall, please make your exit quick. And I also ask you keep your taunts to yourself," McGonagall called out from the staff table. He looked at her with an indifferent yet smug look and shrugged.

"Alright. And Granger, congratulations on wrecking your life. I'd give you a standing ovation but my hands are too busy covering my mouth, which is secretly laughing right now. See you." And he turned around ready to leave the Great Hall.

Granger's eyes were watering, and something triggered in me.

I didn't know that this happened. I didn't even know how it happened. All I knew was that I stood up from the Slytherin table, ten feet away from the Great Hall doors, but suddenly, I was standing right in front of Marcus Miles, a look of pure anger on my face, I'm sure.

My right arm stretched back, my fist already balled. And in less than two seconds, it made contact with his nose, and I felt a warm liquid splatter on my fingers as it reclined. The whole Great Hall gasped, and was silent. Except for Miles' moaning and groaning of course. And I couldn't believe it.

I sucker punched him for Merlin's sake!

I looked up, worried the Professors might have to say something about this. I was the Head Boy after all. But all of them were still too busy staring. And when they saw me searching their faces, they suddenly looked down, shrugging and back in talk. I think they were playing the "Oh... I never saw anything," act. I was glad.

"Malfoy!" Granger said, shocked out of her mind. She had stood up, only to be standing right before me, with wonder in her eyes. I had just defended her.

"Granger, how could you let him talk to you like that?"

"You really expect me, a pregnant girl to do that?"

"Well someone had to shut that idiot up," I said, even though he was on the ground before me, without smell but still with a sense of hearing.

"Malfoy, honestly - " Granger whispered, trying to make our conversation quiet from everybody else. But they were all staring, and Potter and Weasley looked outraged by the fact that they were not the ones who defended her.

And I remembered I had to talk to Granger about the dream. It seemed urgent now, and now seemed like a perfect time. Not in front of everyone though. In private, of course.

"Granger, I have to talk to you - "

"No, not now, I'm in the middle of - "

"Come with me."

And before Granger could even get a word out, I pulled her right around by the wrist for she had turned away from me, ignoring her tiny shriek, and was dragging her out of the Great Hall. No one even bothered to say or do anything about it, for they were much too busy staring. I was glad for once that they doing that instead of anything else.

I had to talk to her about the dream. I had to tell her I finished it. I had to tell her that the ending was nothing I had expected, and that maybe she was right.

I really was the one to blame for all of this.

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: What has dear old Draco realized? Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's something. Bwaha. And aren't you all glad Hermione's pregnancy is now out in the open and people accept it? Well, except for a few mean people. Don't expect that to be the last of Marcus Miles, my friends! Once again happy holidays, I hope you all have a safe Christmas! Love you guys! x)


	8. Between A Bullet And A Target

A/N: Wooot, chapter 8! Bon appetit, friends:) Btw, this is supposed to be my "New Year's present." Haha, love me? I'm sure you do!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Between A Bullet And A Target

**xxxxxx **

Everything had gone very well between the time I'd told Harry and Ron and then the whole school. Everything was perfect, and I was in complete bliss, even though I was still pregnant and a student in school. None of it seemed like a problem, especially when all the important people accepted my pregnancy, and for the most part, all of the student body.

Until stupid Marcus Miles had to open up his bloody mouth.

I would have defended myself. Really. I was just... too busy trying not to cry. Ron and Harry, to my surprise, were too busy staring daggers at him to do anything and I'd expected them to save me from his cruel words by now. So instead of my two best friends, who came to my rescue? Malfoy. The Malfoy. Could you believe it?

Yeah, me neither.

But after he'd done so, he'd grabbed me and taken off in a thunder, pushing aside innocent by-standers and ignoring all eyes. We were stomping past everybody so fast I doubt any of them could even tell where exactly we were headed. Even I didn't know.

And right now, we're cramped up in this somewhat walk-in caretaker closet. It was dark, but I could make the outline of his figure. Usually, I'd be backed up in a corner, trying to stay away from him, but he'd gotten less scarier after a few days. After all, he'd been helping me and keeping this a secret for as long as I have. My nostrils sniffed. Did this closet belong to Filch? I smell Ms. Norris' litter box a few feet away.

"Are you okay?" Malfoy asked. I looked at him incredulously.

"I wasn't the one that just punched the lights out of Marcus Miles..."

"Yeah well, the bloody bastard deserved it."

I raised my eyebrows. Malfoy was too busy muttering cuss words to an invisible Marcus Miles to see me do so.

"What made you do it?" I asked softly. He immediately stopped swearing.

"Say what?"

"What made you do it? You know, punch him," I said more specifically.

He fidgeted where he stood and looked like he wanted to blurt something out, something he'd been holding in all day. I nodded in the awkwardness because of him not answering. I began to turn away, before he stopped me.

"Wait!" he said. "I said I had to talk to you."

"Well, until a few seconds ago, I was the only one talking."

"Sorry, I'll get to the point," Malfoy said, pulling me back quickly by taking my arms. I was surprised. I didn't recoil for once.

"Okay... well... what is it?" I asked him.

"It's just..." he looked really uncomfortable. I waited impatiently. He was making me rather curious. "Those... those dreams," he finally said to me. My eyes widened.

...Uh-oh.

"Was... was that the bell?" I said, failing to win an oscar for acting like I've just heard the school bell ring, "maybe we should go just in case. We could always talk about this later - "

"I didn't hear anything," Malfoy said, more confident now. "And lunch began only 15 minutes to go. We've got plenty of time left."

I swallowed hard. He was right. And perhaps I was stuck.

"Right. Well, hurry up, I've got some stuff I need to do. Speaking of stuff, what'd you think of that Transfiguration report? Pretty tough, right?" He raised his eyebrows. I sighed. "Okay, fine, fine. What about those stupid dreams?" I grumbled.

His eyes shifted around nervously. I waited with baited breath.

"...I finished them," he confessed with nervousness in his voice. Or was it shame?

"Oh... well... what did you find out?" Stupid, stupid, stupid! I should never have asked that. Now I was really in for some trouble...

He heaved a heavy sigh that almost made me sad. _Was _he sad? Why did he look so guilty and ashamed? My heart dropped within me, and I just knew that he knew.

"...Did I do something to you?" he asked me.

"What could you have possibly done to me other than loathe me?" I said. I may have made him look a little more guilty, but I would do anything to keep _it _from coming up, and avoid the topic for as long as I could.

"Did I hurt you? In... anyway, that I didn't know I did?"

And my heart hit rock bottom.

I pushed past him, across the mops and brooms and almost stepped onto the litter box I thought was somewhere in there. I could feel my eyes brimming with angry tears already. Angry because he was so close to finding out and because I wasn't brave enough to face him about it, even though the worst was over and done with.

I pushed the door open, surprised by the attack of light that hit my eyes. Blinded only for a moment, I ran away from the closet, on my way to the Gryffindor tower, the one place I knew he couldn't be.

"Granger, wait!" I heard him call behind me.

I felt my eyes sting even more than they already were, and I was afraid they would spill if I continued to run as fast as this. I couldn't hear Malfoy's footsteps near me, so I knew he hadn't bothered to try and catch up, even though he knew he could.

I couldn't let him know about it. It would ruin everything that I'd worked so hard for to keep a secret. It would ruin everything, and I didn't go through months of burdening myself with this, only to have him find out about it. I had to do something...

I wouldn't let him know.

**xxxxxx**

I was terribly sick with worry today.

It took me all my courage (I was running very low on that supply) to leave Gryffindor Tower and not sleep in my old dormitory I shared with the girls for the second night in a row. He would find me somehow and I knew it. I knew he knew, and it was the most sickening feeling I had ever felt in a very short amount of time.

I didn't know what to do.

I was backed up against a wall, facing a dead-ended alley, forced to walk a breaking bridge.

What would I do?

If he ever found out... if he ever knew...

"Hermione, what's up?"

I flinched, and snapped my head up, taking my mind off my thoughts. I was out in the grounds, sitting near Hagrid's hut. I knew he would not be here. I found now that my spare time now was dedicated to just keeping away from him, hoping and praying that maybe he was going to confront me about something else...

"Nothing really, Gin. I... I'm just tired."

"Don't blame you," she said, nudging me in the ribs, "you've only just told the whole school about your situation."

"Yeah. It was tough," I admitted. Nothing had been more harder.

"I can't believe it. I mean, the timing is a bit unfortunate, but Hermione... you're pregnant! I'll be an Aunt in a few months time!"

I smiled meaningfully at her. "You're really okay with this?"

"Well, my opinion isn't going to change what's happened but if you want to know, I'm happy for you. It's a great thing, to be pregnant, you know. No matter how old."

I raised my eyebrows. "How?"

"Well... you're raising something inside of you. A living, breathing thing. And when you finally get it, you can raise it, and mold it to become you, or someone good. It's what we all want, don't we? To have someone that's ours, to love and care for?"

"Hey, don't get corny on me now, Gin," I told her with a cheesy smile. She chuckled and brushed her hair away from her face. "But thank you. I accepted the pregnancy already, and now, little by little, getting more happier about it."

"I'm glad," Ginny said.

We sat for a while in quiet. The wind was blowing our hair gently into the air, and even though Malfoy was somewhere around the grounds, most probably looking for me, I felt okay, for almost a moment. The weekend was mine to relish and to try and forget about all the bad. But it didn't last, for Ginny had spoken again.

"So who helped you with your big confession?" She asked playfully. I arched my eyebrows.

"What makes you think I had help? Surely you don't believe I'm that weak as to have someone prep me for it."

"Of course not. Stop with the mood swings," Ginny added, half seriously and half jokingly. I nodded. "But you're three months along by the beginning of next week. And a month ago was when you found out you were two months pregnant, didn't you say? So you've had basically a month to prepare for it, and you being smart, obviously seeked help."

"Well... sure. Yeah, I did," I grudgingly admitted.

"Well who was it?" I didn't answer her for a while. "You know, I'm offended it wasn't me," she said funnily, trying to ease the silence that had followed her question.

"Sorry," I muttered, thinking.

"Are you going to answer my question?"

"No," I answered truthfully.

"Why not?" she said testily.

"Because it's not important. In fact, the _person_ isn't important. So let's forget it."

"Hermione - "

"Please, Gin?"

"Why are you trying to hide this person?"

"Please - what?" I asked, not expecting the question.

"Why are you trying to hide this person?" she repeated. She almost sounded offended, by the way she was speaking. "This person... did you a _huge_ favour. Without him or her, I'm sure you would have not been able to talk freely with me like this, or anyone for this matter. You would still be hiding. Still afraid."

I lowered my head. What Ginny was saying was completely and utterly true.

"The least you could do is give that person some credit. Or thank them for the help. Have you?"

I turned away. "No... not yet."

"So you're going to?"

"I... no. I mean - yes. I - I don't know, Gin."

"You seem pretty confused, Hermione."

I sighed heavily. "I really am, Ginny. I really and truly am."

"Okay, okay, enough," she said, smiling at me now. I think she knew she'd been giving me somewhat of a hard time with the lecture. "Let's talk about something else. Something that won't get your mood swings working up again," she added with another nudge. I smiled reluctantly.

"Oh - wait," Ginny said, with her serious look back for a moment. "Before we stop being serious, can I ask you one more thing?" I shrugged. "Hermione... who's the father?"

I froze where I sat. Bloody stinking firey burning hell.

"Gin, he doesn't... _know_ yet."

"He doesn't know yet?"

"No... I... haven't really told him the truth."

"You should, Hermione. He has the right to know that he's going to have a child."

"Should I?"

"Well..."

"Because what if I don't want him to know? What if I think it'll only complicate things more than they are already? What if - "

"Hermione, it doesn't matter..."

"It does! It does to me!"

"That doesn't matter either. What's matters is that he _knows. _You don't need to ask him for support or anything. Just... let him know. He has as much right as anybody else to know if not more."

I stared at her with a stoney look. She was forcing me to do something I very much did not want to do. The impact of it would cause a large ripple effect, of that I was sure. But still. The father of my child had to know, right? Maybe it could even help. And I would do anything if it would help my baby...

With that thought, I got up. I stepped away from Ginny and she followed suit. She grabbed my arm, only to pull me around, stopping me from doing what she had just basically ordered me to do.

"What are you doing, Hermione?"

"I'm going to speak with the father of this baby."

Her eyes widened before me. "That's brave of you, Hermione. Really."

"Is it really?"

"It is. You're going to need all your courage to do this, you know."

I sighed.

That was the very last thing I had right now.

**xxxxxx **

I invited him to speak with me in between my Head Girl duties. I knew it was dumb of me to be formal about it, but hey, I was going to tell a guy that he was the father of my child. The least I could do was be polite about it.

I waited on my couch, expecting him any moment. He would step through that portrait hole, and I would invite him to sit down. He would ask me why it was that I needed tp speak with him, and I would tell him the honest truth. He is the father of my baby.

Oh boy, oh boy.

If I could have chosen any man to be the father of my baby, it would not have been him. He'd be second to last on my list, next to Marcus Miles, the ugly prat. I never, ever, ever in this wizarding realm, would have chosen him, to be the dad. No. Not ever. Not the one and only, conceited and smug -

"Malfoy," I cringed.

"So you're finally coming out of your hiding place, are you?" he questioned me. His eyes were casted downwards as he stepped through the portrait hole. He threw his things across the room and made his way towards me. I felt myself beginning to shake immediately.

"Listen, I felt really bad about leaving you like that."

"Yeah, well," he said, not completing his sentence. He sounded frustrated and irritated. Usually I'd have been locked away in my room by now because of it, but Ginny's words had a strong impact on me. I wasn't scared of him. Not today.

"I'm not sure what to say."

He stayed silent. It wasn't uncomfortable or awkward but rather timid and overwhelming. I sighed.

Malfoy sat before me, just as nervous as I was. His feet were tapping the ground lightly, and he was in deep thought. I could see what he was thinking. _What do I tell her? _I wanted him to tell me the truth... what he and I both knew.

"Why don't you talk about those dreams?" I decided starting off from the beginning would be best.

Instantly, his usually beautiful blue eyes went cloudy. I could tell the dreams were haunting him still, even though they'd stopped since he's no longer been waking up panting. His eyes were no longer baggy, as well.

"They were... nightmares," he confessed, with a shaky voice.

I didn't turn sketchy at his choice of words. I suppose that's what they really and truly were. Nightmares. No word could have summed it up better.

"What happened? Start from the beginning."

He sighed, and it looked like Malfoy was really not up for recounting the dream. But he opened his mouth anyways, and words began tumbling out of it, barely audible because he was mumbling and hiding his face from me by turning his head away at any point in the room but at me. I listened very carefully.

"I - I'm stumbling through this familiar place. It's blurry and it's like I have vision underwater. I see a crackling fire and familiar portraits around though, so I know that I was in this common room... maybe - maybe in the living room... I kept on falling, tumbling... I yelled and screamed everytime I did, and I was _yelling_... just yelling," he repeated. The voice echoed in the room.

I began to shake much, much more. He was getting very close...

"_'Pansy, Pansy take me back,' _I say but she never comes... I'm banging on a door. A door I know but barely use... it's... it's yours, and I - I yell and scream and pant and call for Pansy and it's as if I'm in trouble or in danger, but... " he trailed off, and he gulped. I almost thought he was going to break down into tears right then, "but you were the one in danger," he said sadly, as if he couldn't believe the words himself.

I sighed, and I tried with all my might to stop the tears from coming.

"You were the one in danger, weren't you, Hermione? You were in so much, much danger..."

"Then what?" I said, with a very meek, yet strong voice. He had to finish this dream.

"You - you - oh God," he said, and he buried his face in his hands for a moment. For a while, I thought he wouldn't continue, but surprisingly, he did. His voice sounded more calm though, and it wasn't like it was in danger of cracking and bursting into sobs.

"You opened the door, and you were worried. _'Malfoy, what's wrong? What's going on?' _I thought it was okay... I thought there was consent... I thought you were Pansy. You stand there... you stand there scared, and you should be - I - " and that's when his voice cracked.

"What next?" I asked. Though I used my whisper voice.

"I'm so mad. I'm so _angry, _that I can't stop myself... I - oh God I just can't..."

"You can't stop yourself from what, Malfoy? _You can't stop what?_" I urged.

"_I can't stop! I can't stop_!" he yells, like he was a maniac.

I could tell this was the rage that had been building inside him for so long. This had been the rage that he was now letting out, each word measured and pre-prepared. I let him yell, I let his words suddenly turn into sobs, and I let him gurgle and choke them, as he knelt on the floor, his fists madly scrubbing and covering his eyes.

"_What did you do, Malfoy? What did you do?_" I said. I didn't realize I too had now begun to yell and cry, since my cheeks were suddenly wet.

"Hermione, please..." he was pleading with choked sobs. Begging for me to tell him that none of it was true.

But I simply couldn't.

"_What did you do._" I demanded now. He was already so close.

"I..." he sobbed and the rest of the words were not formed.

"_What did you do._"

"Oh, God, please..."

"_What did you do._"

"Hermione, please..."

"_What did you do!_"

Malfoy was completely cracked now, and he was done for. He, nor I, could escape from what had happened. It was there, and it would never, ever go away. It had to be said. If only there had been a way out.

"_What did you do to me, Malfoy!_"

He was crying and mentally weak. It was coming now...

"I... I - " he said between sobs.

"_Say it!_"

"I _raped _you! _I raped you! _Damn it! I'm so - oh God - I'm so sorry..."

His whole body fell to the floor, a complete heap of tears and sadness before me. I watched him slowly fall to pieces, as he buried his face into the ground, shrieking with sobs that hurt me so much. I knew he did not mean to do it. I knew it was never his intention to hurt me like that...

But he did.

I must have bent down to comfort him, because somehow that's what I found myself doing. Crawling slowlier towards him, I could tell that he was as angry with himself as I was. He was kneeling now, pounding his fist to the ground. I stopped it from making it's next hit and took it in my hand. When I did, he immediately stopped whatever he had been doing. The room was silent.

"Now you know the truth," I whispered softly in his ear. He sucked in a raggedy breath, and I held his hand tighter. "I know you didn't mean to, but it's done... there's nothing you can do."

He whimpered into the palm of his hand, his voice gone. Malfoy was much too busy crying.

"Hermione, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

I ignored it. I let go of his hand and now placed my own on his shoulder. I made him face me completely and I saw Malfoy cringe at the sight of my tear streaked face. He looked down but I gripped his shoulder tighter, forcing him to look at me.

"I've accepted it, Malfoy. I'm living with it. Now you have to live with it too." This was the receiving end of another one of his heart wrenching sobs. "You are the Father of this baby, Draco. You're it."

My hand fell to my side, no longer wanting it to be there. I stood up, making myself ready to leave the dormitory. I couldn't be here anymore. I just couldn't. It was suffocating me, it was choking me, and I had to get out.

I was finally at the door, on my way out, till I heard him again. He began crying once more.

"Malfoy," I whispered, willing myself not to start crying again, "if it's any help..." I watched him closely. His eyes peered around his fingers, and they were on me. I reminded myself that I had to tell him the truth. "If it's any help... I forgive you."

And the odd thing was... I meant it.

-

-

-

TBC.

Authors Notes: Wow, what a dramatic chapter. Pretty OOC of Draco to break down crying, huh? Well, I loved the scene in my head. I was typing up as I watched the scene unfold in my mind! Bwaha. Well, hope you liked it! Review if it was to your liking or not x) Thanks!


	9. Colour Me Stunned

A/N: Chapter 9 fellow friends! Hope you like:)

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Colour Me Stunned

**xxxxxx **

You know that feeling when you're so happy that you honestly and truly are so joyful that you think you could jump off a bridge and fly? That you can skip your way through the day and not have a single care in the world but where you're going to skip off to next?

I wasn't feeling like that.

And thanks to what I found out a week ago, I'm probably never going to feel that way again.

How could I ever make myself get used to this piece of horrible news? You raped someone, Draco. You don't deserve to be happy again. You should be holed up in some place as bad as Azkaban and never see the light of day.

Well, if Azkaban wasn't a possible prison, my room would do just fine.

I hid there to hide my face from Hermione on most days. If I saw her during classes, that was fine with me. I wouldn't look at her and I wouldn't talk to her. If I saw her in the common room I'd march to my bedroom and ignore whatever she said to me. If I passed her in the halls, I'd do just that - pass her, without a word.

It was a routine I was getting used to.

What I wasn't getting used to was knowing I had hurt someone as innocent and pure as Hermione. How could I ever live with myself?

I'd never cried like that before. Maybe when I was a kid and was missing my father or hating him for punishing me for doing simple things. But I hadn't felt like that in a while. In some ways, I felt almost released. I was never allowed to do that, but when I did that night, I felt okay. The feeling didn't last long, though. I was released, but at the same time, imprisoned for my actions.

I went through class like a zombie. Nobody saw me smile (I know I hardly smile, but at least I did once in a while) and nobody saw my face light up at a remark that usually would have cracked me up. I was a zombie, a mummy, a living dead Hogwarts student.

"What the hell is wrong with you, eh?" Blaise asked me, as we packed up our things from our last class of the day. "You don't go to Quidditch practice anymore and you're our damn captain. You stopped being bossy, which is something you always are! You even stopped smirking, and I used to see it plastered on your face all the time. What's going on with you?"

I shrugged as I swung my backpack over my shoulder lazily. I didn't even look at him as I spoke. "Some things are tiring me out. I haven't got much energy to do anything,anymore. It happens when you're Head Boy." And a rapist, I wanted to add.

"What crock and bull excuses," Blaise said unbelievingly, as we now began to walk out of the classroom side by side on our way to the Great Hall. He was going to go to dinner, but I was going to go to the library after a short meal. I never stayed long for much things anymore.

"What's so hard to believe about me being tired? I'm at the library every waking hour, I'm packing a million piles of homework in my backpack and I've got to balance Head Boy duties. Going to Quidditch practice, being bossy and smirking, are the very last things on my mind. I repeat, what's so hard to believe about that?"

Blaise shook his head, knowing that I had a plausible excuse for everything. But I was sort of glad to know that he knew there was something wrong with me. At least someone noticed, other then Hermione of course.

"I'll see you later," Blaise muttered, as he began walking a seperate direction from me. I let him do so, and didn't even bother to say a goodbye to him myself. "You're not much company," I heard him mutter again, before I lost him in the crowded throng of students.

Well, I'd rather he hung out with kids who _weren't_ rapists.

As my only friend made his way without me, I did so as well, following the path to the library. I decided against dinner now, since I would see him there and he had already shook me off. I wouldn't be a burden to him or anyone.

I picked an empty desk in the far back corner of a quiet area. It was comforting and I loved being here. Surprisingly enough, I didn't do my homework when I was at the library. I sat and read a book that consoled me for the while that I was there or just sat in thought, repeating the words that I had to get used to.

_You're a bad person. You hurt people. _

Little by little, I was beginning to believe everything I said to myself.

Planting myself into another book, for I had been going through dozens this past week, I concentrated on finishing it so I could begin another book, which I had taken out ahead of time. Relaxing myself more, I snuggled myself into the seat, and soon, I was lost in the pages.

When I had removed my eyes from the book to see what time it was, for it could have been two minutes, two hours, maybe even two days, I didn't know that Hermione would be sitting right across from me, her eyes staring holes through the book I was reading.

"Holy mother of Merlin - ! You scared me," I said, as I flinched a little after seeing her face. I believed I was alone in the library, so seeing someone stare at me was a little short of frightening.

"_I _scared you?" she said with sarcasm. I looked away from her and focused back on the book. Maybe if I kept on ignoring her long enough, she would go away.

Although I was pretending to read the book, my eyes instead were peering over the top of it, examining her. I hadn't gotten the chance to really see her for a long time, and I wanted to check whether or not our child (yes, our child) was in good health so far.

She was getting rounder, of that I was sure of. Not her actual body parts though. Only her stomach. The rest of her was as skinny as it was before, and it was really rather beautiful. I reminded myself that I had hurt this person, had hurt this body, and I tore my eyes away from it.

"You're a hard person to speak to these days," Hermione said to me through the silence.

I nodded while pretending to still be focused on the book. "I'm always busy."

Hermione snorted. "Yeah, busy reading and avoiding me. You know, this is what I did when I tried hiding it from you."

I shrugged. "Great people think alike."

"Great people do Great people things and come out of their hiding. You know, kind of like what I did with the pregnancy. I admitted it and _accepted _it. You've done half of those things so far."

I narrowed my eyes. "No one is expecting me to do any of those things."

"Except me."

I sighed. "Right. Except you."

We were silent once more, and I flipped a page in the book. I had only begun the first sentene of the next page when she began speaking again.

"Are you ever going to stop this?"

"Too soon to tell," I said truthfully.

"Well you're going to have to."

"Right. And why is that?"

"Because I'll have to tell my friends who the father is one of these days, and whether you're ready for it or not, I'm going to tell them it's you."

My head snapped up from the book, and I put it aside roughly. She was going to tell everybody that I was the father? Regardless of the fact that they'll know we would have never gotten together and will immediately expect that I had raped her? Was this woman insane!

"You're joking, right?" I said, with some anger in my voice along with surprise.

"No. I'm done lying and hiding from my friends, Draco. They ask everyday who the father is, and I'm not going to keep on doing this to them."

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you say? When they ask you who the father is, that is."

She shrugged as if it didn't matter. "I tell them that the father has yet to accept it, and when he does, that's when I'll let them know."

I calmed myself a little and picked up my book again. I opened it back to it's former page, although I did not begin reading again. I shrugged.

"Potter and Weasley must have had a fit hearing that fifty times a day."

She grinned. "Well yes, their patience is running low, but they're dealing."

We lapsed back into another silence, and I could have heard a pin drop. No, scratch that. I could have heard an ant crawling. She just sat there staring at me, and I sat there pretending to be occupied with the book which I soon realized was upside down. I cursed myself inwardly.

"Reading upside down is hard," she commented.

I put the book aside once more and with my free hand cupped my cheek in it. I began to rub it gently, as if I were in thought. My face looked stressed, I'm sure.

"If I'm not ready to accept the fact that I'm the father, Hermione, what makes you think that I'm ready to accept the fact that I'd forced myself onto you?"

She sighed. Slowly, I watched her pick up the book that I was reading, and flip through it's pages. She read the summary at the back of the book momentarily, before placing it back down.

"I've read that book, you know."

I raised my eyebrows. "Have you now?"

"Twice. In my fifth year."

"Well maybe you'd be so gracious enough to tell me what it's about," I challenged her.

She breathed in heavily and puffed out a long breath. "A man..."

"I had no idea," I said sarcastically while throwing my hands in the air. She gave me a warning look and I immediately stopped.

"Could you let me finish?"

"The stage is yours," I prompted, letting her speak. She took in a deep breath and began to speak.

"I forgot his name but I believe it was David. He's was so in love with this woman who he's watched all his pathetic life. After a long time of impatience he just - doesn't do the natural falling in love thing and puts a love spell on her... and for a while, they're really happy. He knows that it's not real because of the spell, but he loves everything the way it is."

I nodded. I'd already read those parts. "Go on."

"Well, after months and months of being a happy couple, his guilt begins to come into play. He forced their love, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, if he takes it off, some of the spell will have rubbed off on her, and they will still be in love with each other."

"I know. Keep going."

She smiles. "He takes the spell off of her, and she wakes up from the spell, knowing who he was but not knowing anything about their relationship. It's really sad because she turns him away and won't let him explain, and he's just left so hurt and broken - miserably sad, actually. Their journey is a long one after that, but..."

I scrunched my head in confusion. "But what?"

"I don't want to spoil it for you."

"Well I'm almost finished the book anyways."

Hermione smiled once more and pushed herself up from her seat. Gracefully she picked up her things which she had placed beside the chair and slung it over her shoulder. Then, she picked up the book, and held it in front of me, as if showcasing it.

"Good. Then maybe you can read it all and learn something from it."

She chucked the book at me and it landed with a soft thump onto my lap. I stared at it for a moment before watching her walk away from me, and out of the library. "Are you serious?" I call out to her. But she doesn't answer me, for the library is already empty, with only the lingering dust as my company.

**xxxxxx **

I came back to the common room late at night, expecting it to be empty, but of course, it wasn't.

Hermione was seated before the fire, holding her knees and watching it cracle in the hearth. I shut the door silently so I wouldn't disturb her, and it made a soft thudding sound as it closed.

"You're home late," she commented without turning around. She was still staring into the fire.

"Yeah. After I finished the book I remembered I still had some homework to do."

Well, that was true. But I didn't do any of it. I finished the book in less than an hour, and sat in thought for a while, thinking about it. She said _"Maybe you can read it all and learn something from it," _before she left, but I didn't know what I was supposed to learn.

I was sitting there in the library frustrated, re-reading and flipping through each important page, trying to find out what it was in the book that she wanted me to realize. After a thirty minute break and just sitting there feeling sorry for myself, I just focused on each single part, absorbing each and every word, and then everything clicked and fell into place.

"Hm. You finished the book?" she asked, turning around slightly. I placed my backpack on the floor and made my way over to where she was seated. Nervously, I sat down beside her and began staring into the fire, just like her. She didn't seem to mind this, so I un-tensed myself.

"Yeah. I finished it."

"How was it?" she asked. I didn't look at her when I answered.

"It was... good. Frustrating, but good."

"Frustrating? Frustrating how?" she asked, with real question.

"I don't know. I re-read some of the parts after I finished the book and even though I knew what was going to happen in the end, I kept on willing him - David - to not do something that would change the conclusion of his actions."

She laughed. "Yeah, that happens sometimes."

I shrugged. "But it was good."

She nodded. We both sat there looking into the fire, not saying a word. And I chose to speak up again.

"Do you want to know what happened?" I asked her.

She smiled. "Well, I was waiting for you to come out with it already. But yes, I want to know what happened. And what you learned," she added.

I began from the start, ignoring the fact that I felt like a student, and her a teacher. "He forced the love onto her. It wasn't a good thing, but he was feeling sorry and sad for himself, so I guess that's what drove him to do it. Things were going good for a while until the guilt began to kick in and he realized that what he'd done was wrong."

"Yeah. What else?"

"Well, when he removed the spell, like you said, she knew who he was but she didn't recognize what they shared. She hated him for it. She was disgusted by him because he had the guts to do such a thing, and his heart was broken."

"But?" Hermione said expectantly.

"But he admitted that what he did was wrong. He told her he was sorry and he took responsibility for his actions although he wouldn't forgive himself. She listened but it was no good. Instead, they started off from the very beginning, although it broke his heart to not have her love him again."

"And..."

"And in due time, she forgave him first. It started off with that. After she forgave him, he slowly began to forgive himself, and because of it, they fell in love with each other again. Except the second time it was real."

"And?" Hermione said now.

"They lived happily ever after," I said miserably into the fire.

She smiled. "Very good. Now what did you learn?"

I arched an eyebrow. I felt like I was in pre-school.

"Well, she forgave him first when he wouldn't forgive himself. Even though he admitted that what he'd done was wrong, it didn't seem to ease the pain of what he did. But she did it to help him and... and well, soon, once he realized that she truly had forgiven him... he forgave himself."

Hermione nodded into the fire. "Doesn't that sound just a tad bit familiar?"

I sighed. "Sort of."

I stared at the fire, willing her to speak so that I wouldn't feel so uncomfortable. She did.

"Draco," she began softly. She turned to me and put a hand on my arm. I tried moving it away but her grip tightend when she felt it move. I sighed. "Didn't you hear me last week? Weren't you listening to a word I said?"

"No," I said truthfully, "I was too busy trying to accept the fact that I raped you," I added bitterly.

"Well, yeah, that you should have been doing, but what I said before was important," she said half angrily.

"Remind me of what you said again?" I asked.

"I said I _forgave _you. That meant that I accepted what happened but am no longer holding it against you. Why don't you do the same thing?"

"Because I can't. Because it's hard. Because I raped you for goodness sake!"

"Yes you can, yes it is, and yes you did, but it doesn't matter anymore now that I've _forgiven _you."

"But why? Why did you forgive me that night?"

She laughed softly and she let go of my arm. She looked at me with some odd happiness in her face.

"Don't you understand anything, Draco? I didn't forgive you just _that_ night. I forgave you... I forgave you when you came with me to Dumbledore to tell him that I was pregnant. I forgave you when you checked up on me all those nights when things were especially hard. Heck, I forgave you when you punched the lights out of Marcus Miles. Doesn't that tell you anything?"

"It tells me that I'm a softy for pregnant chicks," I said, although I had no clue.

"No," she said with some laughter in her words, "it means that you're a _good_ person. Good people don't keep secrets of their worst enemy. Good people don't give moral support to someone they've always disliked. Good peole don't do things like that."

"Well good people don't rape girls either," I muttered.

Hermione sighed exasperatedly and smacked her forehead. I felt bad that I was making her so frustrated, especially since she was pregnant, but what I said was true.

"Well that shouldn't matter anymore, Draco."

I looked at her incredulously. "And why not?"

She looked at me like she had just discovered gold and smiled. "Because I've _forgiven _you for goodness sake! That's all that matters! Just like in the book, it started with forgiveness. And then they were able to move past all those things, and make something good out of a bad situation. For Merlin's sake, Draco, again and again, _I forgive you._"

I sat there, stunned at her words. She wasn't mad at me anymore for causing her so much pain. She wasn't even angry that I'd given her a child! Heck, she was happy to be having a baby! My face lit up for the first time in a week.

_She forgives me! _

Noticing this miraculous feat, she smiled.

"Now all you have to do is forgive _yourself._"

"...What if I can't?" I asked her, with volnurability in my voice.

"I'll help you," she said, "I'll help you like you've helped me, and we'll get passed all of this together. And soon, we'll have this baby, and it'll help the both of us."

I looked at her stomach and smiled.

My child. Our child.

"You truly mean it?"

"I do, Draco."

"And you forgive me?"

"I do."

"And you accept that I'm the father?"

"I do."

"And are you still going to tell your friends that I'm it?"

"I'm going to have to. Do _you_ accept that you're it?"

"I will."

"And do you forgive yourself?"

"I'm getting to it," I said. I was surprised. I think I smiled.

"Will you be there with me to tell them that you're the father?"

"I'm going to have to," I said, echoing her from before.

Hermione grinned. "Then we're making some progress."

I stood up, and held out my hands for her. She grinned and with a big heave, I pulled her up from in front of the fireplace, so that she was facing me and standing up. I kept her hands in mine, and I squeezed them gently.

"I promise I'll be here for you and the baby, Hermione. As corny as it is, we're in this together."

"I'm glad."

And I had to say, for a moment there, so was I.

We walked over to the kitchen together so we could talk more about it. We had a lot to discuss.

"Oh, wait," I said. "Will I still be alive after we tell Potter and Weasley?"

Her smile disappeared from her face for a moment, and I gave her a stoney look, but with great effort, I smiled again. And then she did too.

"Well... at least we're in this together."

Right. At least we were in this together.

-

-

-

TBC.

A/N: Oh yay. For once, a happy ending in a chapter for this story. The others have been like, sad or angry some-what cliffies, but I somewhat like the way I ended this chapter. Draco and Hermione both forgiving each other and accepting the pregnancy. Er, btw, if you're wondering, yes, I did borrow a little bit of Riddle and Merope's tragic love spell story! It belongs to JK, but I fancied it up a little to make it my own!

They'll have gone a long way, come the next chapter, which I hope you stay tuned for! Read and review if you've got something happy or angry to say! Much love!


	10. And They Look On

A/N: Chapter what? Say what? Chapter 10! Hehe x)

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

And They Look On

**xxxxxx **

I was really starting to get sick of this room.

I'd seen it at least four times this one month, and it felt like I was living in it's white, plastic walls. I wouldn't have minded just hiring a medi-wizard to check up on me inside the dorm, 'cause what can I say? Draco had more than enough money for it, but no, we had to save all the money we could for this baby.

I travelled down the school and all the way up to this medical place. I really would have apparated here, but they didn't advise it if you were pregnant, just in case of splinching, no matter how experienced you were. I listened to them, even though I was very unwilling.

Besides, nobody wants a splinched pregnant woman.

"Okay, can you spread your legs open wide?" the medi-nurse asked me. I sighed.

Without complaint I stretched them open and the nurse went to her work. Draco turned his eyes away while holding onto my hand, although I didn't need it, and pretended to be looking at some interesting posters on the wall across from us.

The nurse removed her equipment from within me, and smiled.

"Everything seems to be great."

"_Thank you,_" I said with irritation.

"You know, if there continues to be no problems, Ms Granger, there really is no need to come so often. Unless you've got an appointment of course."

"Oh, I know. But the father of the baby insists on weekly visits. For the baby of course," I added with annoyance. Draco looked at me with fake affection.

"Whatever's best for the baby," he said.

The medi-nurse smiled and nodded, sensing the fact that we were in an arguement. She got up from her seat quickly, and pointed to a screen on the wall.

"Pictures of how you're baby is looking up to now will appear soon on that screen. I'll give you two a moment."

I smiled, waiting till she left. When she did, I turned to Draco, looking at him angrily.

"My goodness, are you happy now?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not the only one that insists on these, you know. Potter, Weasley and practically half the school want you going to these things. They'd injure me if I didn't take you."

I crossed my arms. "I know you promised to be here for the baby and I, but..." I narrowed my eyes, and crossed my arms tighter over my chest, which had gotten a lot heavier over the past month. I was becoming a fat pregnant woman before everyone's eyes.

Draco laughed. "Alright, alright. Twice a month. All I'm offering."

I tried for a smile. "Thank you."

"But I'm not telling Potter and Weasley this. They still don't like me."

I opened my mouth in protest. "What are you talking about? Of course they like you."

"It's really hard to tell when they openly mock my fathering skills," he said, although with a smile.

"They just haven't completely come to terms with the facts yet," I said matter-of-factly. And it was true. Breaking the news to them wasn't easy. They had plotted on how to murder Draco for a week until I discovered the rope in their room.

It was actually very funny.

"The facts? The facts to them and the whole school are that I put a love spell on you."

I laughed a little at that. "Don't forget the one about me pursuing you all these years and finally seducing you inside the Room of Requirement."

"Oh, and when I confessed my undying love over Christmas break, and hid our relationship 'cause of shame."

"Or when you tricked me into sleeping with you, thinking it was Ron."

"Or when I snuck you out of the school and held you hostage as a sex slave in my fathers mansion."

I looked at him oddly. "I never heard that one."

"Yeah, well, Blaise made that one up especially for me."

I gushed with laughter. The rumours that followed the confession of Draco being the father were seriously insane. People seemed to forget that we're much too sophisticated for love spells and slaves. I was really glad that Draco and I had taken it all in stride, and that we were continuing with life.

After a while, the pictures that the medi-nurse spoke of appeared on the screen while I was just in the middle of saying no to a disgusting name for our child that Draco suggested, though he clamped a hand over my mouth immediately. I stared, bewildered.

"It's beautiful," I said, though it came off as a strong muffle, as I hadn't removed Draco's cold hands off my mouth.

"What?" Draco asked.

I raised an eyebrow and thrust his hand off of me.

"Oh, sorry," he said quickly.

"It's beautiful," I repeated.

"Yeah, I know."

"What do you think it is? A boy or a girl?"

He shifted his eyes and pondered for a moment. "Tough question..."

"I can tell you if you like," the medi-nurse said, walking back into the medical room. She put some folders onto a counter that had a sink, and read them for a moment. She peered at us over the top of her glasses, and held the files up in front of us.

"This holds the gender of your child. Would you like to know?" she asked kindly.

We looked at each other worriedly. Did we? This was a tough decision to be making.

"How do you know what it is for sure?"

"Well, Ms Granger, you're four months pregnant. We're perfectly able to tell you what gender they are at this stage because they're beginning to show some specific things. Do you want to know?" she repeated.

Draco's eyes were wide, looking alarmed. He squeezed my hand and I squeezed it back with caution.

"Could we think about that for now?"

She smiled at us. "Of course. Just owl us when you're sure. In the mean time, you're free to leave, this check-up is over." She put the papers down on the counter and left the room, winking at us both.

Draco and I stared at the files.

"You don't want to know, do you...?"

"No," Draco said promptly. He looked hesitant. "Why - do you?"

"No, of course not," I replied quickly, while shaking my head strongly. Then I bit my lip.

"It'd be best if we wait till it's birth," he said reasonbly.

"Yeah, of course," I agreed. My fingers curled over his arm. "But it could help us pick with the names."

"Yeah, it could."

"And we could start desgining the nursery..."

"Yeah, we could..." Draco looked at me from the side. "Do you just... want to..."

"No," I said, shaking my head some more. "No, no, no. We should wait."

"Yeah, sure, we definitely should - "

" - Take a peek?"

"Exactly - wait, what?"

"Er... nothing! Let's go!"

"But you said - !"

"But nothing! We should go. I'm ravenous. How about we visit The Three Broomsticks?"

"Hermione - !"

But I let him protest no further. I pulled him out of the room, while pushing the files as far away from us as possible. The gender of our baby could wait.

My stomach however, definitely could not.

**xxxxxx **

Although we were rather shaken up about being this close to finding out the gender of our baby, Draco and I somehow managed to pull ourselves together and make our way (very arguementively) towards the Three Broomsticks. It was _not_ easy.

"You don't even want to go back and take a tiny, tiny, look!"

"No, I'm too distratced by that sound, Draco!"

"What sound?"

"That!"

I pointed at my stomach the moment it started grumbling. I'm not sure if it was from _me_ being hungry or the ravenous baby in there that was hungry.

"Well we've already ordered so just be patient."

"Be patient. Patient, patient, patient, all I ever hear..." I muttered, while taking off my jacket.

Draco ignored it and picked up a left over newspaper that was on the table. I let him read it while I sat grumpily in our booth.

"Don't be grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy, Draco, I'm hungry."

"The food's coming."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said.

By now, many people had noticed that we were arguing a lot latey. More lately then before, when he wasn't the father of my child and an immature brat.

They weren't serious fights. They were little things, and we usually fought about me. What was good for me, what wasn't, what we should do. We never stayed mad for long though, because for some reason, all our fights seemed to be very pointless after the next five minutes. I liked being able to fight with him without having to really want to chew his head off. Maybe punch it, but never chew.

"Oh, look, here come my two favourite boys."

"Oh for Merlin's sake, what are Crabbe and Goyle doing here?"

"To eat, probably. But no, not those two idiots. _Those _two idiots." Draco removed his head from within the paper and raised his eyebrows upwards, looking towards the two people who had just entered the place.

I smiled when I saw Harry and Ron grin towards me (while glaring at Draco, if that's even possible) and make their way to our table. I immediately began shoving Draco aside, so they could sit with us.

"What are you two doing here?" I asked, as I moved to the other end of our booth.

"We were hungry," Ron said.

"And wanted to spy on Hermione," Draco muttered, while focusing his attention back to the newspaper. Ron and Harry glared, and I nudged him. Draco didn't take his eyes off the paper.

"How was your check-up, Hermione?" Harry asked.

"It was fine. Medi-nurse Olsen told me that unless there's something wrong with me, I don't have to go there as often as I do." I nudged Draco so he could back me up.

"Sorry, what? Oh, yeah. What she said," he said, seemingly indifferent. I could tell he was kind of enjoying this.

"Well, I'm not sure about that, Hermione, you need full attention."

"I agree with Harry," Ron said.

"You know," Draco said, now wanting to be in the conversation, "you could leave those decisions up to us. After all, we are the parents." He smiled fakely.

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Oh yeah, of course. By the way, Draco, brewed any Amortentia lately?"

I kicked Harry in the shins. "Play nice," I hissed.

Harry looked at me reluctantly. I gave him an urging look and he sighed.

"Yeah, okay," he surrendered. I smiled.

"Lost my appetite," Ron stated, after there was a long silence between us. "I think I'll go check out the Quidditch Shop. Need some new equipment." He stood up and bent over Harry to kiss me on the cheek. Harry followed suit and patted my stomach.

"We'll be really close if you need us, _Hermione,_" Ron said. He made sure to specifically say my name. I rolled mye eyes.

"Okay. Say goodbye to Draco," I said, as if I were their mother.

Ron and Harry looked at each other and raised their eyebrows. Ron was the first to do so.

"See you, Malfoy."

"Yeah. Bye."

We watched the both of them go.

Draco sighed when the door closed. "That was painful."

I raised my eyebrows. "Not as painful as it's going to be if you guys don't start playing nice."

"I'll play nice when they play nice. Didn't I apologize to them for doing this to you anyways?"

"Well, you didn't really finish it."

Draco scoffed. "How could I? They both rammed me into the wall before I could!"

I laughed. "At least you tried."

"At least I made it out alive," he said with a heavy sigh. "I must have apologized and begged for forgiveness a million times and I got nothing but a severe beating. I've still got bruises!" I shrugged, though uneasily. Come to think of it, they really didn't take it well. But then again, who would take the news well that you're best friend was raped? Definitely not Harry and Ron, that's for sure.

"Be checking their rooms every now and then for ropes, won't you?" he asked me, and although this was a serious question, he added a grin to the end of his sentence. I smiled.

"Your order," Madam Rosmerta said, once she reached our table with two trays of food balanced on one arm, and her opposite hand clutching two butterbeers, "Seventeen sickles and 10 knuts."

Draco handed the money over to her and we began chewing our food down like no tomorrow, forgetting all about Harry and Ron.

"So about the baby," Draco began, after we were well into eating.

"No, I don't want to know the gender yet," I assumed.

"No, not that," Draco said, after gulping some of his butterbeer down. "I want to start talking about our plans for it."

"Plans? Like?"

"Well we already decided shortly after I found out I was the father that we were going to keep it." I nodded while popping a potato chip in my mouth. "Where are we going to live? How are we going to get around to paying bills? How will we balance school with work?"

I almost choked on my food by the attack of his questions.

"Whoa, okay. We already talked about some of that, haven't we?"

"Well, not specifically, but yeah."

"I'll use up my savings from part time jobs to get us through for the first few months. My parents are willing to help a little as well."

"Mother and Father say that I could just use up the money they put in my Gringotts bank account when I was born."

"Okay, no doubt that that's a lot of money," I said.

"Yeah. We're good for a few months with that."

"And our living situation?"

"We'll rent for a while. We don't need to live in some fancy apartment or cosy house."

Draco's face scrunched up, like he just swallowed sour pumpkin juice. "Ugh. Fine."

I ignored it. "School with work?" I asked.

"I'm taking the intern-ship at the Ministry."

"And I'm taking training courses and classes at Mungo's..."

We sat quietly in thought while munching on our food.

"Well the intern-ship is only from morning to afternoon. And I have breaks. After I usually have periods to work on the things they've told me to do but I can just do that at home."

"Okay, so you've got the afternoon covered..."

"Mornings?"

I bit my lip. "Well... since the classes are at Mungo's, I could take the baby with me and keep her in the nursery there. I have my breaks too so I'll check up on her then. It'll be fine," I assured him.

He nodded and took a bite out of his burger. "Okay, well it's good we have the first few things figured out for the moment."

"Yeah, that's good," I agreed.

"If there are any problems..."

"Then we'll deal with them."

We looked at each other seriously for a moment and then both nodded. See, we agreed on plenty of things!

"And the name?"

Oh yeah. Except that.

I rolled mye eyes. "I like Jane."

"That's your middle name!"

"Well it's taking _your_ last name, so I want something of mine in there."

"Having my last name is an honour, you shouldn't even mind!"

I tried very hard to stifle a groan. "You - but - oh for Merlin's sake."

"What about Draconius?"

"That's your name longer."

"Well Jane is your middle name."

"Why can't it - oh for crap's sake Draco, we don't even know the sex of our baby yet!"

"Good point."

"Thank you."

"So we should go back and find out, right?"

I gave him an unbelieving look. "Now?"

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm curious."

I sighed. "We could just be thinking of boy names."

He arched an eyebrow. "Why a boy?"

"I have a feeling that's what it is. Call it a Mothers instinct."

"So... we should be thinking of boy names?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Ah - fine. Let's go."

Draco looked at me triumphantly. "Really?"

I stood up from our booth and headed to the swinging door without Draco. "Yes. Now let's go before I change my mind."

Draco stuffed the rest of his food down his throat and clapped his hands together. "Five galleons that says it's not a boy."

I smiled. "You're on."

**xxxxxx **

Medi-nurse Olsen greeted us like she knew we were coming back. I was guessing that this wasn't the first time people had come back wanting to know the gender of their baby.

"Nice to see you so soon again," she said. "I'm assuming it's not for another check-up."

Draco shook his head. "No. We'd like to know the gender of our baby, please."

"Ah, I see." She winked at the both of us. "I had a feeling that was why you were here."

"Can we still know what it is?"

"Of course," she said. She walked over to a nearby cabint and pulled out a drawer full of files. She flipped through all of it for a while, before finally taking one out, and holding it out to me. I took it with rather shaky hands.

"Could we have a second alone?" Draco asked.

"No problem," medi-nurse Olsen said. Draco waited till she left the room.

"So."

"So," he echoed.

"Are you ready?" I asked him. I opened the folder.

"I am if you are."

I nodded. "I'm ready."

And right on cue, Draco and I dropped our heads down, to look at the sheet inside the folder. We both smiled.

"Wow."

"Wow."

"So..."

"Wow. What now?"

"Well, I think _someone_ owes me five galleons."

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: ZOMGWTF? Hahaha sorry. What happened? Who won? What's the gender of the baby? Are those questions you guys are all wanting to ask me right now? Well, I'll keep that a secret for now. Sorry guys. Didn't I tell you they'd come a long way in the last chapter? Of course! And I'm terribly sorry I didn't include the reaction of Harry and Ron - it didn't work well with the speed of the story, for it would definitely hold it up. Besides, I think we've had enough confessions, no? Flame me for it if you want Gives really apologetic look. Review if you lovede it or hated it!


	11. A Trip To The Ladies Room In Vain

A/N: Chapter 11, hand crafted, just for you! Yay!

**xxxxxx **

When You Lose Your Way

A Trip To The Ladies Room in Vain

**xxxxxx **

"_Draco Malfoy, get over here right now!_"

Mother of all things Holy. What now?

I grinded my teeth together in anger as I cautiously approached the almost five month pregnant woman sitting in our dorm room. "_Yes,_ Hermione?"

"I said chocolate covered peanuts with a hint of sprinkles and pickles on the side."

I looked down at the ice cream cone I had placed in her hands not two seconds ago. I examined it. Chocolate? Yes. Peanuts? Yup. Sprinkles? Indeed. Pickles? Grotesquely enough, pretty much.

"Yes, I know. What's the problem?"

"I said a _hint _of sprinkles. Not the entire thing _covered_ in sprinkles!" I looked closer. Ah, so I had put more sprinkles in there than I intended. Well, too. Freaking. Bad.

"I suppose now your cravings," I wanted to add insanely, preposterous, _disgusting _cravings, "will be more fulfilled. Right?" I said.

She pouted angrily at me. "I don't want it anymore."

I gave her a very, very, tight smile. "Well, you're going to have it, Hermione."

"I'm full now!" I scoffed. She definitely wasn't saying that five minutes ago.

"Granger," I bit out, going back to the name I used to call her, "I didn't go all the way to Diagon Alley, down the street and past the Weasley's annoying joke shop to Florine Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour and get you that disgusting order for nothing!"

She humphed. "Fine, Draco. I hope you know this means that I'll be on your case the whole entire day."

I gave her another tight smile and turned around, walking away. It wasn't like she wasn't already on my case every single tiring day.

"Enjoy," I said fakely, as I stomped my way to my room. "Yell if you need anything," I told her without turning around. I know I shouldn't have said that because I was already tired in the first place, but I promised to be there for her and the baby. Sadly enough, I'm a man of my word.

We had been through a lot, Hermione and I. The past two months after accepting what happened, had been full of a lot of worrying, cat-calls from classmates and fighting. Not only did I have to take care of a ranting pregnant woman, but we had exam preparation for the month of May and I had the Quidditch semi-finals with Ravenclaw terribly soon.

I know it's only been four months of her pregnancy, but I don't know if I can handle the next five.

Hermione was getting plumper by the day. Of course I never tell her that, for I would surely be decapitated. But it was a pretty plumpness that suited her well. I was becoming more responsible (not that I wasn't already) and was learning many father type things. Like changing diapers, holding babies and potty training!

...Mind you, _I'm _teaching the potty training on the kid, not on _myself._

But anyways. Life goes on, and I'm doing pretty well.

_Knock, knock. _

I rubbed my eyes and groaned. I'd only just layed myself down in bed, and she was _already _asking for something again?

"What is it, Hermione? Need me to help you see your feet? 'Cause you know, if you try really hard, you can see them. Just 'cause you can't see your feet doesn't mean your fat!" I yelled. I said that because Hermione usually got cranky when she realized she stopped seeing her feet when she looked down. This was a bad thing when she was into one of her mood swings, because she'd dissolve into a fit of whiny tears.

Oh, Merlin. Please not again.

"Oh, can't you help me, Draco, please? I miss my feet ever so dearly!" I raised my eyebrows. Hermione sounded oddly like a man.

"That's not funny!" I heard someone else screech in the living room. Okay, _that_ voice was definitely Hermione's own.

I heard laughing from behind the door. "Okay, sorry, Granger. Oy, Draco, let me in!"

I rolled my eyes and got off the bed. I swung the door open and let Blaise go in.

"Very funny," I said aggravatedly, as he walked inside.

He chuckled, "I know, eh?"

"Don't make too much noise! I'm meditating!" the crazy pregnant woman screeched. I groaned inwardly. Checking outside for a brief moment, I saw Hermione sitting in front of the fire with her legs crossed in an odd way. She looked like she was taking a massive dump, instead of concentrating.

I slammed the door, regardless of the noise it made.

"What did I just say?" she yelled. I pounded my fists into the air in front of me and then flopped down onto my bed again.

"She's driving me _insane._"

"Yeah, I can see that," Blaise said, completely and thoroughly and amused.

"You try taking care of that girl! I mean, it was fine taking care of her for a while, 'cause I got to piss her off by being _too _caring, but now, I think she thinks I _want_ to be caring for her!"

"Don't worry. It's just a stage."

"I hope it's a short one," I grumbled, as I rolled face first into my pillow. "What's up?" I said, with a muffled voice.

"Zero. How's the kid?"

I raised my eyebrow into the pillow. "You do know it's not born yet, right?" He didn't answer. I believe he couldn't translate the muffled noise that came from the pillow. I lifted my head and yawned. "It's fine," I told him.

Blaise nodded. "That's cool."

"Yeah. I'm actually really excited for it to be born."

"Is Granger?"

"Are you kidding? She can't wait till the thing pops out of her and she can start seeing her _feet_ again for goodness sake."

"You should get her shoes as a baby shower gift. Hey, what size is she?" he asked jokingly.

"Eight and a half," I said promptly. Blaise arched an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Yup," I said, while taking my quidditch things out. "You want to go out and practice Quidditch? It's going to be May soon, and our semi-final game's about two weeks into it."

"Sure," Blaise said, as he began watching me grab my equipment.

"Hey, you've got new gloves," he said, as I took my seeker gloves out from my cabinet. I nodded.

"Yeah, they're velvet. Hermione said velvet was more easy with the hands than leather." I stuffed my fingers inside of them and flexed it.

"Really now?" he asked, with some sort of suspicion in his voice. I shrugged.

"Yeah, so?"

He didn't reply. "Hey, by the way," Blaise said instead, "what's Granger's favourite colour? You know, I'm just thinking about a baby shower present for her."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Sunset gold and royal dark blue."

He raised both his eyebrows. "What's her favourite food?"

I scoffed. "Before she got all pregnant-woman on me? Hmm... assorted treacle tarts, as long as they're not made by Hagrid. But right now, it's pretty much anything with pickles in it."

"What does she do in her spare time?" he continued to question. I went with the flow.

"Reads, of course."

"What's her favourite book?" Blaise inquired almost immediately after I answered.

"It varies by author and by mood. Right now it's anything by Richard Hawkins, the wizard who writes about romance."

He smirked. "Who's her favourite band?"

"Tied between the Thumping Thestrals and the Weird Sisters."

"Her lucky number?"

"Six for even numbers and nineteen for odd."

He gave me odd looks, most being triumphant. Blaise continued to throw me question after question, and I continued to answer with correct, precise, detailed answers. I was surprised I knew half of those things myself.

"Favourite type of quill?"

"Silver gray eagle feather."

"Favourite class?"

"Arithmancy, but only with Professor Vector."

"Favourite Hogsmeade shop?"

"Honeydukes, no questions asked."

"Favourite hair style?"

"Long and somewhat curly. It needs some bounce when she walks, but not so much."

"Name for the baby?"

"Well, I'm positive she's thinking about naming it - " I paused, "wait a second. These are all questions for a baby shower, are they?" I asked with narrowed eyes. By now I was already fully clothed in my quidditch uniform and I pointed my Nimbus 2001 straight at his face.

He backed off with a smile. "Maybe."

"Okay," I said slowly, "what were the questions really for?" I demanded.

Blaise smirked at me. "Draco, you're so smitten."

Excuse me? I'm what?

I gaped at him. "Define smitten."

"Smitten. Adjective. Any one person who is clearly interested in someone. Ways of knowing this are continuous talking of said person, staring of said person, and knowing _everything _of said person." He smiled at me.

"_What?_" I exploded.

"Mate, you like her! And you haven't even realized it!"

"No I don't!" I yelled. "How could you be so insane as to even think that?"

"How could you be insane enough to _like _her?" he countered, though with amusement in his eyes.

"Blaise, erase this thought from your head. It's definitely one of your more crazier ideas."

He smirked. "Maybe so."

"You're psycho," I muttered, while grabbing my duffel bag and heading for the door.

"Hey, you're not freaking out because you don't want her to know, are you?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. "Uh, no! I don't like her!"

He rolled his eyes. "You're just scared she doesn't feel the same way."

What the fu -

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"I'm sorry, Blaise," I said.

He looked at me puzzled. "For what?"

"For telling Mungo's they could release you early from your pyscho ward. I think you should check back in there."

He punched me on the shoulder. "You like her," he said, and he opened the door and walked past me.

"I don't!" I whispered, close behind him, making sure Hermione wouldn't hear.

"You do," he sing-songed away from me.

"I don't!"

"You do."

I growled. "Let's just get to the pitch, okay?"

He smiled at me, as I quickly said goodbye to Hermione and told her I'd be back in an hour or so. "I left your favourite lasagna with pickle in the oven over there if you're hungry. And if you're bored, I put that book you like so much on the coffee table."

She smiled at me. "Thanks. Sorry I was being cranky earlier."

I smiled at her and patted her hand. "It's fine."

I turned around and almost crashed into Blaise's smirking face. "Drop it," I hissed, as I walked past him.

He was insane. Really. I hadn't even thought of liking Hermione at all until he mentioned it. Honestly, this guy was a piece of work. Now I would be thinking of it all day.

I grabbed the door and swung it open, hoping it hit Blaise in the face to stop him from talking. Sadly, it didn't. "I don't," I said suddenly. He didn't answer.

"You do."

And for a moment I thought he had stopped. How stupid of me.

**xxxxxx **

Well. _That _was fun.

I had wasted about two hours of my time, trying to fly and get myself ready before an upcoming, important, life changing match, while Blaise insisted that "I do," every five seconds for the whole entire practice.

Talk about annoying, will you?

"You do," he repeated, following me inside the changerooms.

"I don't," I said, taking off my practice uniform.

"You _do._"

"_No, _I _don't._"

He rolled his eyes. "What's her favourite muggle drink?"

"Rootbeer and anything diet."

He smirked wildly in front of me. "_You do!_"

I let out exactly one million exasperated breaths. "I do _not!_"

"You do."

"I don't."

"You. _Do._"

"No, I really don't!"

"You - "

In one swift movement I dropped everything in my hands and pinned him against the wall. With a mighty growl, I shoved him further up against it, and tightened my grip on his uniform. He looked at me with half surprise and amusement on his face. This only made me angrier.

"Finish that sentence and you'll be a permanent part of this wall, Zabini."

He chuckled. "Will I now?"

With my less stronger hand, I thumped it on the space beside his head, so he would think that I was going to hit him. He ducked just a little bit.

"Don't tempt me, mate," I threatened.

He gave me a serious look. "Okay, okay. Let me go," he ordered.

Slowly, my grip loosened on him and I let him slide down the wall. He seemed to breathe a little bit better after I had done so.

Blaise ignored me for a few moments before he started changing and went to one of the cubicles to take a shower. I let him go. When he came back, his hair was wet and he was in new clothes, while I was sitting on the changing benches, my head down, hands crossed. I hadn't moved an inch since he showered.

"Ready to go?"

"Not quite," I said, removing what was left of my uniform from my body.

"Alright, well, I'm going to go ahead."

"You do that," I said, while slipping off my shirt.

"Okay." He turned and walked towards the door. He seemed really apologetic from the looks of it. I smiled a little at that. "Hey, mate?" he called to me seriously after my thought. I sighed and turned around to face him.

"What's up?"

He looked at me sympathetically. And then his lips cracked into an amused smile. "You do!"

My lips scrunched together into an ugly, pinched form, and I gave him one angry look before I dashed forwards to get him.

"See ya!" Blaise yelled, before running off in a direction I couldn't follow.

I heaved angrily and only just stopped myself from punching the wall. I snarled.

"I do _not._"

**xxxxxx **

I had already heard their voices when I walked into the common room after practice. I didn't know what I should do since Hermione was occupied, so I guessed I would get some homework finished before dinner, and then rest the remainder of the night if it continued like this. Finally, a good night's rest.

"Hermione?" I said, popping my head into the bathroom.

"Yes?" she asked. She stood in front of the mirror with Ginny, both doing something with their hair. I looked at them both oddly because of the style they were experimenting with their hair. "What are you doing?"

"Just trying out some new do's," Ginny said. That would explain the dye and chopsticks.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to be doing homework in my room or sleeping, but if you need anything - "

" - Just yell," Hermione finished. She smiled at me through the mirror. "I know. Thanks." I nodded and left the door slightly ajar so I could hear if Hermione was going to yell.

I walked towards my bedroom and switched the light on. I let myself fall onto my bed.

Sleeping was not an option at the moment. I pretty much have Blaise to thank for that.

I couldn't like her. I really couldn't. She was Hermione and I was Draco. The thought would have never crossed anyone's mind. The only way we would be together is if one of us were drunk and -

Scratch that. That's already happened.

But that was different! Completely and utterly different.

But the thought wouldn't be that preposterous, would it? To like Hermione? She's pretty enough for me, even Blaise admits it. And she's just as smart as me! I hate dating dumb girls, so that's definitely a plus. But she's got two best friends that hate me... which would only make dating her that much more fun. Liking Hermione wouldn't be disgusting at all!

Sort of.

But the definite upside of this would be that our baby would have parents who are together. Not seperated parents or anything like that. And I wanted what was best for our baby. I smiled.

I could hear Hermione and Ginny chatting softly, as I'd left my door slightly open. I sighed. I didn't really care at the moment whether or not I'd be able to sleep, so I could at least try.

With lots of effort, I dragged myself up out of bed, and stood up to fully close my door.

"So how's Draco doing so far?" I heard Ginny ask. I stopped.

"He's fine."

"No, not like that. How's he doing so far with the responsibility? Taking care of you and things like that."

I raised my eyebrows. Hermione waited to respond.

"He's doing very good. I didn't know he could be this responsible to be honest." I smirked. Darn right.

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's with me everywhere I go. He wants to make sure I'm okay wherever I am, and truthfully, I like having him around."

Ginny didn't reply to that. I'm not entirely sure that was a good thing.

"So you two are hanging out a lot more than usual?"

"Of course," Hermione said, "but I have a feeling that even if he wasn't the father, he'd still be trying to take care of me."

"You think?"

I waited patiently for her answer.

"Well, yeah. Draco's a good guy. He's great," she said.

"Great, huh?" I narrowed my eyes. 'Course I'm great! There should be no questions asked!

"Wonderful," Hermione said. I smiled inwardly.

"Wow. You think pretty highly of him now," Ginny comented. Hey, that was true.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

Ginny paused for a moment. "Hey... you don't... _like _him, do you?"

My mouth dropped to the very bottom of the floor. I waited for Hermione to reply, but she didn't. Come on woman, hurry up!

"_Do _you?" Ginny asked.

"No," Hermione said simply. My heart skipped a beat.

"Really?"

Hermione sighed. "Yeah. I mean... it's too soon to tell. I'm positive I don't, but hey, you never know."

"That's interesting."

"How so?"

"Oh, just 'cause. A while I go I actually heard - "

I shut my door. I didn't want to hear anymore.

I walked back to my bed and sat down slowly.

She didn't like me?

Hermione Granger doesn't have feelings for me.

The mother of my child is not interested in me.

Our child's mother was not romantically interest in me.

How many other ways could I say it?

But hey, if she didn't like me, that was fine. There were plenty of other fish in the Great Lake. And I was almost positive that _I _didn't like _her, _so there's no reason to be disappointed. We were both fine, and so that means I should be okay.

I rested my head onto my pillow and drifted to sleep. My thoughts were "I don't," and it repeated itself in my mind over and over again. Because it's true. I don't like Hermione Granger.

Right?

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Oh gosh, forgive me if that was rushed. Seriously, I'm so so so sorry. Especially if the whole "Draco liking Hermione" thing came too soon. I'm so conscious of the speed in this story, I may either be doing it too slow or too fast. Tell me how I can improve if you like! Review, review, review! Thanks and much love!


	12. My Very First Mistake

A/N: Chapter 12, my favourite number! Lucky you x) Happy Valentine's Day btw! (this is my lovely gift for you! Enjoy!)

**xxxxxx **

When You Lose Your Way

My Very First Mistake

**xxxxxx **

I never really knew how informative my talks with Ginny could be. I mean, sure, we gossiped as much as Parvati and Lavender, and even spread a few rumours ourselves every once in a while, but who knew what I could have found out?

Our conversation when Draco had left to go to sleep had been a little more than eventful...

_Ginny looked at me, a little suspiciously. "Hey... you don't... _like_ him, do you?" I was so much more than shocked to hear that question. My mouth gaped in surprise. "_Do_ you?" Ginny asked. _

"No," I said plainly.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean... it's too soon to tell. I'm positive I don't, but hey, you never know."

"That's interesting."

"How so?"

"Oh, just 'cause. A while I go I actually heard Blaise and Draco talking about you. They were both walking down to the pitch, and they didn't even see me go past them on my way to visit Hagrid."

"What were they saying?" I asked curiously.

Ginny smirked. "Blaise kept on accusing Draco of liking you."

My jaw dropped to the very bottom of the bathroom floor. Gross, really. "What? Really? What did Draco say?" I had no idea why I was suddenly so interested.

Ginny shrugged. "He kept on throwing Blaise these dirty looks. Warning looks too. I dunno, it was weird. But I could tell Draco was angry."

I stared at myself into the mirror. Draco might like me?

"Gin..." I started off, "don't tell Harry or Ron what you heard. They'll go spazztic."

Ginny gave me an assuring look. "I knew not to the minute I heard it."

I sighed. "Thanks."

"Pass me the straightner, will you, Hermione?"

I nodded. "Sure thing."

And so that was my Saturday.

I never mentioned to Draco what Ginny had told me. And Draco never mentioned what Blaise had told him. We were basically not speaking about it whatsoever, which pleased me because I didn't want any awkwardness.

But I _did_ want to talk to him about it.

Many things had explored my mind the night I found out. Draco and I - together. Draco and I - boyfriend and girlfriend. Draco and I - being a couple when the baby was born. Draco and I - marrying and living happily ever ...

Wow. I had gone a tad too far.

But still. The more I thought about it, the less it was disgusting and preposterous. I mean, if people could accept the fact that Draco had impregnated me without consent (my fancy term for rape) then surely they could quickly adjust to knowing that maybe Draco and I had feelings for each other.

Yeah, right.

"Why are you so quiet?" Draco suddenly said to me. I kept my head down, pretending to read. He stood at the kitchen counter, pouring himself cup after cup of tea. He offered to give me some but I turned it down continuously. I was too busy thinking to drink tea.

"No reason," I lied, while shrugging. To my protest, he came over and placed a cup in front of my face. I ignored it, causing him to place it on the centre table instead.

"You're not nagging at me much these past days," he regarded with interest.

"Because I'm not a nagger," I countered. He snorted, and I threw him a dirty look.

"I'm pregnant. I have my moments."

"Several," he added, while sipping his own tea. "Is something wrong?"

I thought for a moment. Did I want to bring up this whole 'feelings for each other' thing, in the middle of my pregnancy, right when some things are actually going fine?

"I don't know," I told Draco truthfully. "_Is _there?" Perhaps he would tell _me_ the truth instead.

He hesitated for a moment and then placed his cup down. I looked at it and it was empty. He shook his head from side to side slowly. "...Nope," he answered. I was a little let down by his untruthful answer.

"Are you sure?" I urged. Come on, Draco, be honest!

He frowned and shrugged. "Really. Why? Should there be?

I looked from side to side and cocked an eyebrow. If he was going to lie then I could too. "No, not at all." I smiled at him.

Draco paused for a moment, examining me, and then sighed. Either he was disappointed I wasn't saying anything, or was ridiculously bored like myself. He was drinking tea for goodness sake. He never drank tea unless he had nothing to do!

_Plus, _he was wearing his black robes today. He only wears them on certain moody days. If there was no green in his attire, then you had better stay cautioned, or else he'd blow off his multiple lids simultaneously.

...Hmm. Is it just me, or do I know a little too much about him?

"Want to go clothing shopping for the baby in Hogsmeade right now? I've got nothing to do since I've done my homework." Draco said to me, after placing the things down at the sink.

I snapped my head up from the supposed book I was reading and smiled. "Me too. Let's go." Thank goodness we could get up and leave the dorm!

"I think it's also about time we go looking for a new place to live to. You know, so we have it by graduation and can move in at any given time."

"Yeah, that makes sense," I said, sitting up properly. "You could handle that. I'll go looking for clothes," I suggested. Draco scoffed.

"Oh, sure. Leave the hard thing to me."

"Well, do you have good sense in clothing?" I smirked.

"I wasn't raised a caveman," he said, chucking my coat at me from the closet. "Mother taught me how to clothe myself exceptionally well, if I do say so myself."

I got up slowly from the couch, and slipped my jacket on.

"Sure about that?"

"Positive," he said with a smile.

With those few amused words exchanged between us I had already forgotten about our whole 'feelings for each other' business. I was glad we were able to do that so quickly, and get back to more serious things. Like _shopping. _The parentage of our baby could wait!

And, if the planets are aligned correctly over Hogwarts (not that I follow Trelawney's way of prediction, which I truly don't) so could me confronting Draco about his feelings. I tightened my loose smile.

"Fine. Feel free to show me your amazing sense of style, Draco Malfoy."

He clapped his hands together and lead me out the door as I walked towards him. "Your wish is my command, Hermione Granger."

Oh, planets, I hope you're on my side today.

**xxxxxx **

"How's this? This is really cute," Draco suggested, while hodling up a hanger in front of me. I looked at his chosen attire for our future child.

"...Are you _sure_ you weren't raised by cavemen?" I asked him, while taking the hanger and placing it back onto the rack. "That was absolutely horrifying. Why would you even consider shoving that thing onto our baby?"

He looked at me, rather offended. "It had all the appropriate characters! Plus, it was 100 cotton!"

"By appropriate characters you mean little sheep and farm animals? Our child is _not _a sheperd!"

"You care too much," he said aggravatedly, while going through another aisle of folded clothing. I followed him, and picked something up from one of the counters.

"Look at this," I ordered, shoving it in front of his face, "It's correctly sized. Appropriately designed. And made of 100 cotton as well. Pretty, isn't it?" I asked him. His mouth contorted into a pinched smile.

"...Yeah, of course. Put it in the bag."

I smiled at him daintily and folded the piece of clothing into our shopping bag. Truth be told, everything he'd suggested so far clothing wise wasn't bad. They were really nice. I just liked to get on his nerves. I never got to make him mad without earning an insult back, and now that I can, I never pass up the chance!

"How much do we have?" Draco asked, taking the bag from me. He counted the clothes we took so far and sighed. "Do we need more?"

I pouted. "Yes."

He nodded reluctantly. "Fine. One more, but after that, we're out of here."

I jumped and bounded to another corner of the room. "Yay! Thanks Draco!

"And to think that I would have rather done this than have the dorm all to myself... what I'd do for some peace and quiet," I heard him mutter to himself, although with a soft smile. "Ah, boy. Got to love Hermione."

My eyes widened and I froze. Did he say the 'L' word? Following my name? Love... Hermione? I heard him chuckle once more.

Hey, Hermione, don't get way in too over your head. It meant nothing. It didn't actually mean _love. _I mean, that would be preposterous. Completey beyond your imagination. He would never mean it!

"Draco?" I said, suddenly turning around.

He looked at me, not knowing I had been there to hear the surprising words leave his mouth, and smiled. "Yeah?"

Oh, boy. Tell me, why did I turn around to face him again?

Perhaps to humiliate myself by bringing up feelings?

Maybe to shove another clothing item in his face?

Or was it to ask him what his previous statement meant?

Maybe I should try all three.

Nervously, I clutched the article of clothing in my hand, and wrung it with my hands. "I... well... um..."

A worker in the shop walked passed Draco and I, and bumped into me on her way. I used this as a distraction, and pulled her around by the elbow, causing her blonde curls to whip around. Surprised, she gasped and smiled at me.

"Hello," she breathed. I smiled at her, though wasn't facing at her. Instead, I peered at Draco and he stared like a five year old looking at his first dirty magazine at the blonde girl. Why was he doing that? Why wasn't he looking at me instead? The girl wasn't that pretty, anyways.

"Hi," I replied, eyeing Draco a little bit more. Unknowingly, I dropped the article of clothing I thought I was holding onto tightly. It floated to the floor.

The girl, having watched it fall, bent down to pick it up. Draco's head went down with it.

Swift, move Granger. Really swift.

"May I help you?" she asked, after coming back up. Then I got a good look at her face. I gasped. I knew this girl!

"...Oh, yes - um - what do you think of this? Good clothing attire for an expectant mother?" I blabbed.

She gave me an odd look. "Well ma'am... it's rather small for you. This article of clothing is from the baby's section." Embarassed, I looked down at the clothing in my hands and tossed it aside. The lady whom I knew from somewhere smiled at me.

"Oh - yes, of course. My mistake," I muttered while turning around. Draco, however, kept on looking at her in a way that made me angry. I tugged at his sleeve to follow me to the register so we could pay for the clothes and get out of there. I didn't want him near her.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" he blurted, ignoring my tug at his arm. He stayed where he was at.

The lady, although looking a little older than him, was short, and looked upwards at Draco at about my size. I glared. "You probably don't. Let's go, Draco we still have to look for some apartments..."

"Draco?" she said, as if she had just caught on to something. "From Hogwarts?"

He nodded and peered at her for a moment. "S - Susie? The assistant medi-nurse Susie?" he asked, a smile now on his lips. The girl grinned widely.

"Yes! Oh, Draco, you're the boy who helped me up the stairs and handed out the potions for the experiments!"

"Oh, yes, he was. How nice of you to have done that, Draco," I said, trying to get my voice in the conversation. Draco ignored me completely, and I think I may have hissed. Like, literally hissed.

I couldn't be that mad, could I?

"It's nice to see you again!" he said, his arms now stretched out wide. "I thought you were just an assistant medi-nuse. Not a clerk at a clothing shop!"

Susie grinned at Draco. Not Draco and I. _Just_ Draco.

"I work part time here. In fact, this is my first day!"

Lucky me.

"First day, you say? Wow," I said sarcastically, as if she was already letting the shop go into shambles, regardless of the fact that she mentioned I'd wanted to buy a size way too small for me moments ago. She was flirting with customers! You're not supposed to do that on your first day, or any day for that matter. Isn't it a rule that you can't date your clients or something? It should be!

"Yeah," she grinned, finally noticing me. Susie looked me up and down, intrigued by my stomach. I narrowed my eyes. Was she going to comment my chubbiness as well as ruin the moment I was going to finally confront Draco about the 'feelings for each other business?'

Oh lady, just give me one reason to curse you and I will!

"Wow, pregnant, are you? I've read the papers. Congratulations!" she offered, while even daring to run a hand across my stomach.

I slapped it away softly, as if her touch had burned me a little, and grinned fakely. "Yes. Draco's the father," I casually mentioned while nudging him. Draco looked at me wondering why I'd so 'subtely' slipped it in.

Instead of Susie widening her eyes and looking at Draco disgustedly for getting a teenage girl pregnant while still in school like I thought she would, she nodded knowingly. "Yes, I heard. Congratulations once again," she commented, while sticking her arms out to hug Draco. He did so obligingly.

I narrowed my eyes and pulled Draco out of her arms. He looked at me, obviously telling me to buzz off, but I ignored it. "We need to go pay for those clothes, Draco. Then we have to start looking for some living space," I bit out.

He pulled himself away from me, and walked over to the counter to pay for the clothes. To my dismay, Susie followed us. Oh for Heaven's sake.

"Nice to see you," I said dismissively, after the cashier lady gave us our change. "Hope to see you soon!" _Not._

I shoved Draco towards the exit. He moved reluctantly.

"Perhaps we could see each other sooner," he suddenly suggested. I widened my eyes.

Was he asking her out? Did this 'we' include me?

"Oh?" Susie asked, obviously very interested as to hearing the rest.

"Dinner tomorrow night. If you're free?" Draco asked, stepping back into the shop. I let him go with dread, watching as he took each step closer to her.

I could tell by the look on his face that no, it didn't include me. And for some reason, I was saddened by it.

Susie grinned and nodded her head happily. "Oh yes of course! I would love too!"

They smiled at each other, and I watched as they exchanged some information with each other. I fought the terrible urge to puke or have an angry fit of shrieks going towards both Draco and Susie.

"Tomorrow then," Draco said, slipping out of the shop finally. Susie waved cheerfully out the shop window and went back to her work. I returned it till she was gone, my tight smile quickly turning into an angry scowl. I hid it from Draco as we rounded the corner of the street.

"How fun," I said sourly, as we continued to walk. He smiled.

"I always wanted to see her again."

Always? He'd spoken to her for five minutes and forgot about her in two weeks!

"Damn, she's beautiful," Draco said, as if the wind had been knocked out of him. What? What happened to 'Got to love Hermione?' The 'L' word! Followed by my name! Has he forgotten already?

I didn't answer him after a few minutes, while he continued to rant about her beauty and how much he hoped the following night would be nice for the both of them. I stopped and rolled my eyes.

"Oh yeah," he said, stopping with me, as I sat down on a bench, "did you want to say something to me? At the shop before we saw Susie, of course," he said more specifically. I looked around nervously.

"Oh, did I really?" I asked, faking bewilderment. "I can hardly remember," I lied, even scratching my chin. "Oh well."

Draco looked at me hesitantly for a moment and then sighed. "Right. Oh well," he echoed, and then shrugged. As soon as he had started, however, he began talking about Susie, and I was put into a rather angry mood.

So, first I hear Draco might like me.

Second I try and talk to him about it.

Third, Susie Something walks into the scene and makes Draco completely hypnotized over her.

Not that I care of course. I mean, it's Draco. I even said myself I didn't like him back, so what was the big deal if he got a date with some girl he barely knew? They wouldn't last a week. In fact, tomorrow would be their first and laste date. I had absolutely nothing to fuss about.

"I should get her flowers when I show up on her doorstep, shouldn't I, Hermione?" Could he ruin my day even more? I'm sure that we could probably cross out looking for a living space, now that he was obsessing over his date for tomorrow. I turned around and looked angrily up at the sky.

Of course, as I had expected, the distant planets, which appeared to be lonesome stars, were not correctly aligned.

They weren't on my side tonight.

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: What's Susie doing back? Grr, that's not a good thing. Will her and Draco be a long term thing or a short term thing? Will their kid be having two mothers? Oh, let's not get too far...

BTW, I may accidentally put a 'he' or a 'she' when talking about Draco and Hermione's kid, but just FYI, it will most definitely be a mistake. I'm not revealing the gender of the baby till it's birth... which is far but not too far! Sorry to keep you in suspense. I hope you still love me! Read on to find out! Thanks for tuning in! Much love!


	13. When The Worrying Starts To Hurt

A/N: Hello fellow readers! Here's my thirteenth installment :)

**xxxxxx **

When You Lose Your Way

When The Worrying Starts To Hurt

**xxxxxx **

"Draco, there's a lady in the fireplace for you," Hermione called out to me this Saturday morning with a heavy sigh. I jumped up eagerly from my bedroom where I had been gelling my hair back and quickly ran over to the hearth.

"Susie, hey," I greeted, settling myself down in front of the fireplace. Susie's face was crackling in the fire, smiling her white teeth at me and waving. "How are you?"

"Good! How are you? And the baby," she added. I heard Hermione scoff, and I rolled my eyes.

"We're both great," I said, chatting up a storm.

"Draco, we're supposed to be - "

"Give me a second,"

"But - "

"What are your plans for tonight, sweet?" I asked, ignoring Hermione.

Susie answered with a dull "nothing," although smiled, for she knew I was going to ask her out. What kind of guy would I be, to not ask her out for Saturday evening? Besides, this must have been a record for me! I've been dating Susie for, drum roll please...

_One _week!

Okay, I know that really isn't much, but I haven't been going this long with a girl since Pansy, and it feels like a big deal. One week! Sue me!

Hey, that rhymes with Susie!

But anyways, it was our one week anniversary, and I planned on taking her out. Everything was planned quite well actually. I had dinner reservations at one of the most expensive restaurants in Hogsmeade, where we would have our own private concert with the Weird Sisters and then enjoy a nice walk around the city, right beneath the stars. She was going to love it.

"Can I meet you at the Entrance of Hogsmeade so I can take you out?" I asked.

Susie nodded. "Oh yes, of course."

"At around seven, okay?"

"Okay, I'll be there. I have to get back to Mungo's but I'll see you tonight?"

"Yeah, sure thing."

"Bye!" And with that, she disappeared from the burning fire.

I smiled. This girl had me wrapped around a finger.

Our first date had gone really well. I took her to The Three Broomsticks to keep things simple, and then took her to the Quidditch Pitch to teach her how to fly. She slid off the broom countless times, but at least she got to fall on my lips, which made me a very happy man. Susie was really nice. Really great.

And a good distraction too.

She made me forget about Blaise's accusations of me having feelings for Hermione. Although I really don't have feelings for her, I can't help but let his words ring in my head every now and then. But the echoes would always stay away from me when I was with Susie.

"Plans for tonight?" Hermione asked scathingly. I rolled my eyes at her. Hermione didn't like Susie very much for some reason.

"In fact, I do. Is there a problem?" I asked her.

"No," she said, shrugging. She kept her eyes focused on her homework. "But," she said. I sighed. There was always a 'but' in her sentences when it concerned Susie. "We have rounds tonight, remember? I could always cover for you, but..."

My eyes widened. "Oh, can you _please _cover for me, Hermione? Please, please, please? With pickles on top?" I added.

"For the fourth time in a _row,_ Draco?"

"This will be the last time!"

"Don't forget I'm still pregnant and need my sleep! You don't want me grumpy."

"You always are, so what's the difference?" I said with a smile. She glared at me. "That was supposed to be a joke, by the way."

"Kind of like your girlfriend Susie?" Hermione asked me. My mouth gaped. I had never heard something so mean come out of her mouth!

"Excuse me?" I asked, getting ready to defend my girlfriend.

Hermione sighed. "Sorry. That was out of line."

"Yeah it was," I agreed.

"Sorry," Hermione repeated, going back to her homework. She rolled around on the couch to avoid any speaking with me and gasped when she sat up straight. I stopped whatever I was doing and looked at her with concern.

"Are you okay?"

She rubbed her belly ruefully and shrugged. "It's just the baby kicking... don't worry."

I stared at her. Ever since Susie came into the picture, she'd been getting grumpier and grumpier. I was beginning to think she was jealous of Susie, but why would she be? For one, Susie was nineteen and only just getting herself into Mungo's. Hermione would be starting off where she was at by graduation. Hermione was smarter, and funnier, and... maybe even prettier, so what was there to be envious about in the first place?

Maybe it's because Susie has _me. _

Whoa. Back-track. Let's not go too far with assumptions, okay, Draco?

"Is something wrong, Hermione?" I asked her, while sitting down next to her on the couch. I wanted to pat her belly but I didn't know whether or not it would hurt her. The baby had been kicking her for most of the day and that little intake of breath a few minutes ago wasn't the first one she'd had today.

"Nope. It's just the kicking. It hurts so much," she added with a shake of her head and a wince to go along with it. I was staring at her stomach, wondering what I should do.

"Are you sure that's it?"

"Yup."

"...Do you want me to make you some tea - ?"

"Nope."

"Do you want me to leave you alone - ?"

"Yup."

"Are you _sure_ you're okay - ?"

"_Draco,_" she snapped. "I'm fine. I'll yell if I need you." And then she turned away from me.

With a puzzled look, I got off the couch and went to the kitchen. Slowly I picked out some fruit from the fruit basket and placed it in front of me. I was getting really restless with her now a days. I was caring for her 24/7, hardly enjoying myself because I was always worried about her, and now when I find a good... _distraction, _she still jumps down my back.

"Seriously, what's your problem?" I suddenly asked.

Hermione turned around roughly and glared. "You're asking me that after I basically just told you to buzz off, because...?"

"Because I'm really very happy right now and you're ruining it. So tell me what the problem is so I can continue being happy again," I told her straight out.

Her mouth contorted in thought. "You're honestly happy?" she asked me, with a little guilt in her voice. Oh, finally, for once she's the one feeling guilty and not me!

"Yeah, sure I am." Although that was half a lie.

Hermione sighed and sat up properly on the couch. "Sorry I'm being such a brat then," she apologized, with honest sincerity in there to go along with another painful gasp.

"Apology accepted," I said. "Now what's wrong?"

She sighed. "It's just... well, I don't know, really..."

"Did Susie do something? Maybe she inadvertently insulted you in some way - ?"

"No, never. She's nice."

I smiled. "Oh dear Merlin. Did you just call her _nice?_"

Hermione smiled, although grudgingly. "Yeah."

"See? That wasn't so hard. Now come on, tell me what's up."

"Well... I'm not used to the father of my baby going out with someone who could potentially be the step-mother of our child."

My eyes widened in surprise, although I was a little more disappointed then anything. What exactly did I want to hear from her? "I'm upset because I'm jealous of Susie, and I want you to be mine, Draco, all mine!" Yeah... right.

"A potential step-mother? Hermione, don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself right now?"

"Anybody one of us dates might be a potential step parent, Draco, you know that."

I sighed. "But _she_ won't be."

Hermione stared at me. "Why not?"

"Because she's fun to be with and a great person, but not my future wife. And if she is, I'm not feeling like that right now. You have nothing to worry about, Hermione," I assured her.

Her face lit up. "Really?"

Finding this kind of odd, but a good sign, I nodded fervently. It was true. I was not going to marry Susie. This thing I had going on with her would probably be short term, and the most intimate thing we would do together would be snogging, so Hermione need not worry about a sibling for our little baby.

"Don't worry," I told her.

"I'm not," she said through a smile. I grinned back at her. I think I just made her happy. Point 1 for Draco in corner two!

"Now get back to your homework, now that you're done jumping down my back," I commanded, putting a book in front of her. Hermione took it and stuck her tongue out at me. "I'll be going out to prepare for my date with Susie... is that okay?"

She shrugged and smiled half heartedly. "It's fine. Will you be coming back?"

I thought for a moment. "I'll be back to change quickly and then meet up with Susie. You might not be here, so I guess I'll just see you later tonight."

"Okay," she said, taking her time standing up, "but I think I'll stay here... I don't have the energy to go out because the little thing in there," she stabbed a finger at her belly, "thinks my stomach's a bloody play pen." She stopped where she was for a moment and her face cringed in pain. She composed herself and shook her head angrily. "Stop it, will you?" Hermione yelled to the baby.

I chuckled a little. "Owl me if it starts hurting too much okay? If you can't reach me for any reason, try getting yourself to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomphrey will know what to do." I gave her a list of people she could owl to ask to keep an eye on her as she walked me to the portrait hole but she declined every name I suggested.

"It's probably nothing. See you later?"

I sighed at her stubborness but let it go none the less. "Alright. Bye."

"Be home soon!"

"_Take care of yourself,_" I said, after stepping through. And I meant it, because I had a sinking feeling that perhaps those pains weren't a good thing.

**xxxxxx**

"Hot date tonight, I see," Blaise said, spotting me as I walked up to the castle with flowers and a gift box in my hand. I took it upon myself to make sure all the plans were ready and to buy Susie a wonderful bouquet of daffodils to go along with a bracelet I bought her at one of Hogsmeade's most expensive jewlers. She was going to be insanely in love with me by the end of the night, and I knew it. Everything would end up great, and I would go home to Hermione at the end of it all.

_Hermione. _I couldn't stop thinking about what she said. She was really scared that Susie was going to be our child's stepmother. I believed her, because she had real worry in her eyes, but I didn't think that was all. The rest of what was worrying her was obvlious to me, and I thought that if that was all she was willing to tell me, then I would have to let it go.

I just wish I could somehow know the rest of it!

"Indeed I do," I told Blaise, while sniffing the flowers. They smelled amazing.

"You and Susie still going strong then?"

"Yup. Tonight's our one week," I announced proudly. Blaise gave me a shocked look, although I knew it was fake.

"One week? Wow!"

"Shove it," I said, taking the flowers back from him, for he had snatched them away. "I haven't gone steady in a long time, you know that."

"Well, you could have gone steady with Granger..."

I narrowed my eyes and smacked him upside the head. "Shove it," I repeated, more strongly this time.

Hermione was my friend. The Mother of our child. I couldn't possibly date her... I think.

With a rough shake of my head, I quickly got the thought out of my mind. I had a girlfriend named Susie. She's amazing and kind and sweet and everything any guy would want and definitely not Hermione.

"So what have you got planned for tonight?" Blaise said, changing the topic quickly. I explained everything that I had arranged for us to do tonight, and told him that I was particularily excited about just being with her.

"Wow. So I guess this means your over Hermione?"

I sneered at him and smacked him again. "I was never... _under _her," I said, although confusing myself.

"Sure," Blaise said dismissively, while walking me up the rest of the way.

"So is Hermione still having those pains?"

"Yeah, they're really bugging her."

"And you left her to herself in the common room?" he asked, seemingly appalled.

Remembering that she had refused to ask someone to watch her while I was gone, I slyly sought out Potter and Weasley, to ask them to take care of her because of my date. Although they agreed immediately, they pretty much spit in my face telling me I shouldn't be dating when I should be taking care of her.

Bunch of ugly prats. I need a break anyways!

"Yeah, but I asked Potter and Weasley to take over for me," I told him. I wasn't worried.

He gave me a confused look. "But... Potter and Weasley are on the Quidditch Pitch practicing," he told me. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Right, like those kiss ass golden boys would really leave Hermione alone for Quidditch."

"Well... they already did," he continued.

"Blaise, now's not the time for jokes, I have to get ready for a date," I snapped, walking ahead of him. "They wouldn't leave Hermione alone, especially since she's been having those pains."

"Malfoy, you idiot, look," and he pulled me around by the elbow, and pointed towards the Quidditch Pitch. Although we were somewhat far away, I could make out the practicing uniform of Gryffindor in a shining red, and two people with prominent hair colours passing a quaffle around. One of them had red hair and the other, jet black hair. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well then... who's taking care of Hermione?"

"Dunno," Blaise said, and although he said it carelessly, I could tell he was worried. "They wouldn't just bail out for no reason... they probably asked the Weasley girl to do it instead."

But as if on cue, a number of Gryffindor girls walked passed us and outside. One of them was Ginny.

"Oi, Weasley!" I yelled, running over to her. She looked behind and saw me running.

"Yeah?"

"Are you taking care of Hermione?"

She shook her head in confusion. "No... should I be?"

I ignored her question. "When was the last time you spoke to her?"

"A few minutes after you left her. It was through the fireplace."

"Did she say anything? Did she seem in pain?"

Ginny thought for a moment and then nodded. "Now that I think about it... she wouldn't stop wincing and changing her position on the couch. She sort of just... said goodbye to me really quickly and then shut off the connection. I thought it was because you had come home."

My eyes widened in panic and I left her standing there with her friends. I rushed past Blaise but he stopped me. I had the instant, pulsing feeling that Hermione wasn't okay.

"What is it?" he asked urgently.

I pulled myself from him and sprinted away to the dormitory I shared with her. I knew I shouldn't have left her, and I knew I should have done something more to take care of her. I had a bad feeling Hermione wasn't okay, and my heart ached harder and harder each moment I got closer to her.

As I finally reached the dormitory hole, I screamed the password and gained myself entrance. I stumbled through and carelessly flung aside my jacket. I ran over to the living room, in front of the fireplace, where Ginny said she last saw her.

And to my horror, there she lay, on her knees, doubled over in pain while clawing at her stomach.

"_Hermione!_" I yelled, rushing up to her.

"I-It hurts," she gasped, cradling back and forth on the ground. I could hear her taking sharp intakes of breath every moment and it scared the hell out of me.

"Holy _shit. _What happened?" I said, while trying to make her stand up. I had to get her to the Hospital Wing as quick as I possibly could.

"_It hurts,_" she cried in agony, while I pulled her up. She slouched into me and I draped her arm over my shoulder. I was close to tears just watching her try to deal with the pain she was enduring. "_It hurts,_" she repeated, tears streaming from her eyes.

"It's okay, it will be okay, trust me," I said breathlessly. Dear Merlin please let her be okay!

"Make it stop, oh God - it _hurts!_" she exclaimed.

"Stay calm, we're on our way to the Hospital Wing!"

I kicked open the dormitory door and ventured to the hallway. I was in a state of panic. I didn't know where to go, because I knew no shortcuts or easy ways to get downstairs and to the damned Hospital Wing. She kept on moaning in my ear and everytime she yelled I panicked even more.

I didn't know what to do. But I did the first thing that came to mind and screamed my ass off. "_Somebody help us!_"

Hermione yelled in pain as I did so, and hearing that was the only thing stopping me from fainting. She had to trust me.

"Make it stop, Draco..."

And although I had little confidence in myself, I gave her my bravest face.

"It's okay, Hermione. I'll take care of you. Trust me." She nodded through her pain.

"I trust you."

I used those words as fuel to somehow have me drag her to the Hospital Wing in my weak arms, whispering hurried words of comfort into her ear. She moaned and groaned about the pain but everytime it stopped I gained hoped.

"Hermione, it's going to be fine, we're almost there, just trust me," I said. I kept on repeating those same words. _Trust me. _Because I needed her to. It was the only thing that would fuel me even more.

"Hurry," she pleaded, as she clawed at her stomach with one hand and grasped my arm in another.

"_Madame Pomphrey! Madame Pomphrey where the hell are you?_" I screeched once I kicked open the Hospital doors. I didn't know it, but some people had followed me there. Ginny, a few of her friends, and some of the Quidditch team for they had seen the commotion. I ignored them all. All I cared about was making sure Hermione was okay.

"I'm right here, what's all the commotion about?" she asked, while trotting into the room with a disgruntled look.

"Hermione - it's, she's - you've got to help her - she - "

"It hurts," she moaned out loud, and I could feel the worried glances and crys of concern fill the air from our school mates.

"Give her air," Madame Pomphrey ordered, as I lay her down on a hospital bed. "I shall tend to her and call her medi-nurse. Leave, I need the work space," she commanded, now serious about her work. I didn't move a muscle.

"What will you do to her? What's wrong with her?" I demanded, not moving an inch.

"I cannot make a decision on any of those questions if you remain here, Mister Malfoy, so I suggest you leave so that I may tend to her. Your staying here only delays her healing."

I gave Hermione an apologetic, yet brave look. She looked at me with a pained face, and I knew I had to leave. I brushed my hand against her face softly and left the room as fast as I could.

As I leave, I'm swarmed with people. Potter, Weasley, Ginny and a few others who saw. I continue to ignore them.

If I had just stayed with her then perhaps this would not have happened. If didn't ignore her pains then I could have done something, but I was ignorant. I blamed this whole situation on myself, and I was so, so, so worried. Hermione had to be okay. She had to. Her moan filled the air, just as Madame Pomphrey shut the doors, and my heart sunk.

If she wasn't, then I wouldn't know what to do.

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-

To be continued...  
A/N: Whoa-izzle! What's going on here? Well, that's for me to write and you to find out! Stay tuned guys! Review if you're awesome!


	14. Smile For The Morning Light

Authors Notes: Welcome to my story's lair! Go further to read or... exit where you came from, Mortal!

Disclaimer: I got all my information about Hermione's pain and condition from w w w . babycenter . com

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

Smile For The Morning Light

**xxxxxx **

I felt a dull ache within my abdomen, and for some reason, I knew it wasn't good. And I wasn't in my bed, or in the living room where I had last been, speaking to Ginny. Where was I? As I craned my head to look around, I got up to sit and my sides cramped, while my stomach seared with pain again.

"_Holy mother of Merlin,_" I breathed, getting up slowly, to hopefully recede the pains. It did little, but I couldn't feel it as much at least. "What the hell happened?" I ask to nobody. Slowly, worries began to surface through me. "Draco?" I hollered into the room. I don't know why I called his name but I thought that the sight of his face would ease my concern.

I tried to get up and out of my lumpy bed but I felt I was too tired. My legs were jelly and I knew if I tried, I would fall. With anger, I stopped myself from walking and looked around. Where was everyone? I only now recognized the multiple rows of beds all around me, and realized I was in the Hospital Wing. Something happened to me, I thought, but what?

I tried to remember what happened earlier in the late afternoon. It was morning now. So far, I could only recount the stabbing pain in my stomach everytime I moved, and how much it hurt. I felt it more and more through the day but ignored it, thinking it was the kicking of the baby. Was it really? I had no idea.

The only thing I could really remember were comforting words being hushed and whispered into my ear, as I groaned about the pain. _Trust me, _said the voice. So I did.

Then, slowly, it came rushing back to me. The words, the pain, everything. I began to pant, as if I'd run a mile. The pain was suddenly very real, even though I might have been imagining it. There was a storm in my stomach and it wouldn't stop.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," I chanted, putting my hands over my stomach. "Son of a - ow!" I began rubbing it, heaving and hoeing, just as I'd been taught at my Lamaze classes.

"Heave, ho, heave, ho," I repeated, trying to ease the pain. And then, as sudden as it came, it stopped. Contractions?

"Ah, Ms Granger, you're finally up," someone said as they walked through the doors. I gasped, and sighed, glad that I was no longer alone.

"Medi-nurse Olsen, thank goodness! You have to help me! I'm giving birth, I'm having contractions!"

The woman came up to me, the one who handled and would take care of me for the duration of my pregnancy. Medi-nurse Olsen was most probably here at Madame Pomfrey's request. She smiled at me calmly.

"Hermione, just breathe. You're fine. You're not giving birth - well, not today, at least."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "I just had some serious pain ten seconds ago! You can't tell me that wasn't a contraction!"

"It was something else," she said instead.

I paused, thinking a fool of myself. She sounded so sure. And if she was sure, that meant I was wrong. "Did, um, I miss something?" I asked uneasily.

She laughed softly and my fears receded, very, very slowly. Her laughing must mean I'm okay.

"Oh yes, you did."

"What was it?" I questioned, never taking my hands away from my stomach.

"You passed out from pain a short while after you arrived here, as I was told, and you were in and out of consciousness as you were brought, so I'm not surprised you don't remember." I gasped. Me? Pass out from pain? I'm almost able to bear anything!

"What happened?" I asked her. Medi-nurse Olsen sat on the edge of my bed, and rubbed her hand over the blanket where it covered my sore feet. It felt like they each carried ten pounds at least.

"You had some very serious round-ligament pain, Hermione," she told me slowly. I widened my eyes. I'd heard of that term before.

"You mean... my uterus..."

"Your uterus was having difficulty making room for the baby. Your ligaments were stretching and thickening too much to accomodate room for your child, so you immediately felt the pain each time you did some sort of sharp movement."

I closed my eyes. "Is the baby okay?"

"Your baby is fine."

I sighed in intense relief. I wouldn't be able to handle it if my unborn child wasn't okay. "So they were just sharp pains?"

"Sharp pains due to too much activity. You should have been able to handle the pain but, say, if you take a long walk or are to active in anything which requires exercise, you would feel the pain more. Are you doing too much activity, Hermione?"

I winced, remembering that I take daily jogs around the castle. And I'm sure we all know how darn big the Hogwarts castle is. "I exercise on a daily basis," I told her guiltily. I forgot to mention that I do rounds at night and take Draco's shift sometimes, so he could be with Susie. Medi-nurse Olsen smiled.

"There's nothing wrong with that Hermione, but you need to minimize your work outs, now that you're pregnant." I nodded. I would do anything not to feel that much pain again. "And to add insult to injury, your baby was stomping up a storm in your poor stomach," she said apologetically.

Ah-ha! I knew the kid was kicking me too much! I restrained myself from pumping a fist, 'cause my motherly instincts were growing like wild fire, but I doubt that would impress Medi-nurse Olsen. "I had a feeling my bab was kicking me too much," I said instead. "Was that the pain I felt a while ago?"

She laughed softly again. "Yes. You're baby was kicking at your kidneys. It's really rather painful, but it's common for pregnant woman to feel that." I sighed in great relief. So I was okay. Thank Merlin!

"So that's it? Should I be taking any medication?"

"Madame Pomfrey's already put you on jelly legs, so you won't be able to walk around for a while. And we've magically enlarged your uterus for you, so you won't have to deal with the pain for too long. If you feel sore, it's because the uterus is still growing, so try not to move." I winced.

"So I'm to stay here for the whole day?" I wasn't too pleased about this. I'm definitely not the type of person who likes to sit around and not do any work. Or not read!

She nodded, standing up and backing away. "Yes. And by the way, you had many people waiting for you when you arrived here, but they were sent off. They're all in class right now, but I've informed them that you're okay, and can come whenever they have the time."

My eyes widened in disbelief. "I was out for two days!"

Medi-nurse Olsen chuckled. "Oh yeah. It's understandable."

I crossed my arms and shimmied myself deep into the blanket. "I suck at being pregnant," I muttered. Medi-nurse Olsen just laughed and gave me one last smile, as she left the room. I patted my belly and stared at it hard. Making sure she was finally gone, I began to speak to my baby.

"Alright, are you going to keep this up?" I asked my child. No response but a soft grumble. I knew it was probably because I hadn't eaten in two days but I took it as response none the less.

"Right, well, until I give birth to you, no more pains!" Another low grumble. I smiled. "You'll be giving your Father and I a very hard time." My stomach stayed still. "But I promise we'll do our best." The baby kicked me softly, but I didn't wince.

I closed my eyes, as I let the sudden urge to sleep overcome me. Without much effort, I drifted off into a very comfortable sleep, in which I dreamt the perfect baby, with the perfect family, with a Father and a Mother who loved their child dearly. It was as my eyes flickered to sleep that I realized my child would definitely have both.

**xxxxxx **

"Hermione, wake up, wake up, wake up!" My eyes snapped open as I was dragged up by two very strong arms. I couldn't even set them loose so I could bring my hands to my eyes so I could rub them. What time was it for goodness sake?

"What do you want?" I groaned, as I tried to pull the blanket back over me. It was snatched away immediately, and I sighed, giving up.

"You're okay!" two boys cheered, and I recognized them as my two very over-protective best friends. I smiled at them, no matter how disappointed I was that they had ruined my dream. "Hoorah! Praise Merlin!"

"You better praise Merlin that you're not dead yet, 'cause you would be right now if I weren't pregnant," I said. They laughed at me, and sat down on either end of me on the bed so that I was in between them. They snuggled themselves into my blanket, and I didn't mind a bit.

"You scared us," Ron said, leaning his head on my shoulder. "Try not to do it again, eh?"

"Like I can help it or not," I laughed breathily. "What time is it?"

"Later afternoon. Pretty sunny outside. Too bad you had to miss a day like this," Harry said. I sighed. Very true. "But you're lucky we found something for you," he grinned, holding up a flower the size of his palm in his two fingers. It looked so delicate.

"You guys got me a flower!" I oozed, taking it from them. They grinned sheepy boy grins as if presenting their mother with a gift. I sniffed it and smiled. "It's so pretty."

"Like you and your big round belly!" Ron said, rubbing it enthusiastically. Harry chuckled.

"Are you calling me fat, Ronald?" I scolded amusingly.

"Anything but!" he said, jumping up from the bed. Harry followed suit. "Have you noticed the gifts yet?" he asked, going over to the table that stood in front of my bed. He ran a hand across them all, and I only just noticed the gifts that lay there. There could have been a hundred or so.

"Those are all for me?" I asked, astounded. My eyes swept them quickly. I thought I saw mounds and mounds of chocolate and pastries straight from Madame Puddifoots. My mouth watered just a tad.

"Indeed they are!" Harry said. I could tell that they were trying to make me feel better, although there was no need, because just the thought of knowing that my baby was okay was good enough for me.

"These are from Parvati and Lavender," Ron said, holding up a bouqet of flowers, "this is from Colin and Dennis," he continued, picking up a picture frame with a baby in his mothers arms, looking up curiously in my eyes, "this right here is from Ginny, she knew you'd like it," he said, while presenting a box of Honeydukes deluxe chocolates. I sighed. They were all so wonderful!

I eyed something particularily beautiful to the side, slightly hidden by the other presents, as if done purposefully. It looked square and hard and almost like a slighty fat brick, but I was mistaken. I smiled unknowingly. "Who's that book from?" I asked suddenly.

Ron and Harry looked at each other and shrugged. "That would be from Malfoy," Harry said, while picking it up and giving it to me. I took it and read the words that were stamped to the books cover. 'Reasons Why This Baby Will Love You and So Much More,' it said. I grinned and hugged it, holding it close to my heart. It seemed like a wonderful book.

"Want to see the other presents?" Ron asked, while sitting at the edge of my bed. I shook my head no.

"I'll open the rest later," I said. They nodded. "So... what happened guys?" I asked them both, while cradling the book in my arms. I wanted to dive in and just read it, but my curiosity to find out what had happened to me had suddenly surfaced. My best friends exchanged guilty looks.

"We're sorry, Hermione," Ron burst, pleading in front of me. I gave him a confused look. "For once, it wasn't Malfoy's fault, but ours. See, he asked us to watch over you while he was gone - you know - getting ready for his date and all - "

"He wanted you to spy on me?" I asked incredulously. I knew he would have done something like that. "Even though I asked him not to?"

"It's not his fault!" Ron continued, "It was the right thing to do. But, he asked us to watch over you while he was gone, like I said, but Harry called for a Quidditch meeting last minute when we found out that Roberts got a cold from swimming in the lake too much!"

"But it wasn't like we were just going to leave you - we would never! We owled Ginny to do it since she left the team and wouldn't be with us but it seems the owl came to her just short of when you arrived here at the hospital! If we had known that you were in pain we never would have called a meeting with the team!"

My eyes were wide at their sudden burst of guilt. I sort of raised a crooked eyebrow, wondering why they would ever blame this on themselves, when it was definitely my fault for not listening to Draco and getting help or having someone look after me.

"Harry, Ron," I said, giving them an assuring smile, "it's okay. It's not your fault. I'm fine, see?" I said. "If anything, it was mine because I didn't listen to Draco and do something about my pains."

Ron acted as if he hadn't heard me. He looked down at the floor while Harry examined the ceiling. "We're sorry, Hermione. It won't happen again," they said. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Okay, fine. This was entirely your fault, but I forgive you both." What they wanted to hear.

They looked up and smiled. "Wonderful!" they cheered, attacking me with hugs. I fell back onto the bed, and I grinned. What two idiots I have as best friends. "You wait till everyone gets the news that you're okay. We'll throw you a Baby Shower!"

I nodded, agreeing to anything. But suddenly Draco was on my mind. "Why hasn't Draco visited?" I asked, as if insulted. They both shrugged, obviously confused as to why I cared.

"He was here for the whole weekend. But he had to go to class and we forced him to rest. Contrary to me and Ron's beliefs, he's sort of an okay guy." I grinned hugely.

"Sorry? I didn't catch that." Harry glared at me and I knew not to push it. "But he'll be here later?"

Ron laughed. "He's probably here now, now that we've left him alone. He snuck out of his bed, for sure."

My eyes widened, knowing that maybe Draco was here. I wanted to see him so bad. "Could you bring him? I'd like to thank him for the book," I said.

"Sure," Ron said, thinking nothing of it. "Besides, Harry and I have to go to Quidditch practice right about now. We just wanted to see you. We'll tell Malfoy he can come and see you if we pass by or something."

I nodded. Good enough. "Okay. Thank you guys both so much for my wonderful flower!" They grinned again, as they watched me flatten it within the book Draco gave me. I magically attached it behind the front cover, and kept it there as a display everytime I opened the book.

"We'll check up on you after practice, Hermione," Ron said, while walking out the door. "Rest, okay?" I sighed, having heard that reminder at least fifty times now. I watched them walk out the door and out of the Hospital Wing. I saw them out the window as they walked back to the school, over to the Quidditch pitch. I smiled, somehow missing my boys already.

"Geesh," I suddenly heard, as someone emerged from a quiet corner in the room. I gasped. If the voice hadn't been soft, I probably would have accidentally popped the baby out of me. "Took you guys long enough."

I grinned hugely, taking in the sight of Draco walking towards me carrying a heavy bag of books and papers. "You were here the whole time?"

"Yeah. I snuck out right after they left me and followed them here. I entered the other way and sat outside the door for a while. When I knew they were leaving I just walked in and sat down."

"Sneaky," I commented, while trying not to show how happy I was that he was here now. "I'm sorry if I scared you earlier," I apologized, remembering slightly how badly he was panicking as he brought me here.

"You definitely terrified me," he said truthfully, while pulling up a stray chair to sit beside the bed, "and I agree with Weasley. Try not do it again." he smiled at me crookedly, and for a second time, my baby might have popped out from under me.

"I'll try," I said, trying to please him.

He nodded and smirked at the book he gave me. "You like the book, do you?"

"Ah, how I love it," I said, while hugging it. He looked pleased that I appreciated it so much and I thought he may have even blushed. I ignored it, and opened it up, flipping a few pages. "It's wonderful."

"Yeah - it has lots of stuff in there... diagrams, information, even a list of names."

I could tell he was trying to ease a silence that would definitely be coming, and I smiled at his effort "Thank you so much," I said meaningfully. He nodded and so did I. Then the silence lapsed. Was there something he wanted to tell me?

"So... listen," he said, scratching the back of his head. So I was right! "I'm really sorry about leaving you for Susie... I knew I shouldn't have but I completely ignored al the signs. It was idiotic and selfish and I don't mind if you're mad at me. Just know that it won't happen again."

I sighed. "So you think it's your fault?"

"Kinda... yeah... a lot."

"Well so do Ron and Harry and so do I and probably so does Ginny, and probably half the school for not taking a second look, but I don't care," I said, holding on to the book tighter. "It was no ones fault. Not Ron's, not Harry's, Ginny's yours or mine." Though I did sort of feel as if it were mine.

He smiled. "Sure. If you say so," he said. And I think he meant it.

"It was unfortunate, but we made it through, didn't we?"

"We sure did," he said, rubbing my belly. And then we were silent again, although this one was a much more different silence. We weren't saying a word, though our eyes were speaking a fluent tongue to one another every second. Regretfully, I tore my eyes away.

"What happened with Susie?" I asked, remembering that he had a date with her before I went to the hospital.

He nodded slowly and pursed his lips. "She dumped me," he said, acting as if he didn't care. My eyes widened and I guilt washed all over me.

"What!"

"Yeah... in all the rush, I sort of forgot to tell her we would have to cancel our date... and I stood her up."

I gave him a very sad, apologetic look. It was all my fault! "Oh Draco... I'm so, so, so, sorry...!"

"No," he said, waving a hand, "it's okay. We were a short term thing anyways. I knew we would be."

"How did she take it?" I said, doing very well at hiding my hidden happiness at their break up. Don't get me wrong though - I was still definitely sorry!

"Oh," he said uneasily, "she... let's say we haven't spoken since," he said. I nodded, feeling very guilty though relieved at the same time. Why? I think I knew.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be," he replied, with a true smile. I nodded.

"Look at us, apologizing as if we both did something wrong."

"I know," he said, chuckling a little. "Besides, I would ditch her anyday to be with you and our baby." My spirit soared like it had never soared before, but I hid it with a life of my shoulders.

"What's in the bag?" I said, jerking my chin towards the sack he set on his lap before he sat down beside my bed. He looked at it, having forgotten about it, and smiled.

"Are they books? Oh, tell me they're books!" I pleaded while trying to change the subject. I felt very miserable if I didn't have something with me to read.

"Even better," he said, bringing the bag up. He set it down in front of me, and I peered into it. "_Homework,_" he declared. I raised my eyebrows, and smiled none the less.

"Homework!" I chirped fakely, emptying the bag. The parchments spilt out one by one in front of me, and I could tell I had a lot of work ahead of me. "Wow."

"Yeah - it seems the professors have gone temporarily insane and have given us a record amount of homework. How unfortunate that it's around the time you're out sick!" he teased.

I glared playfully. "You probably hid some of your own homework in here just so I could do it," I countered. He shrugged.

"What can I say? I'm sneaky, as you said."

I slapped him on the arm. "Are you going to help me do this homework or what, pal? 'Cause if you don't, the minute I get out of here, I'll be storming up my usual rant - except worse," I threatened, while narrowing my eyes. And as if on reflex, Draco jumped up and began picking up papers.

"What would you like finished? Transfiguration or Arithmancy first? I say we do the hard ones then the easy ones." I grinned, knowing we were back at our usual routine.

"Arithmancy," I said.

"If you say so."

And as if the last two days had never happened, we did our homework like usual and fought and played and yelled, hoping that the rough times would always end with something like this. I knew that no matter how many hard things came our way, we would still be able to withstand it, and we would strengthen with the arrival of our baby. I also knew, as I took in his scent and savoured every word we spoke to each other, that I was falling for him - a little too hard.

"Stop covering the textbook Hermione - for Merlin's sake, how fat are you now?" Draco teased. I smacked him.

Why was I falling for him again?

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Gushes, gushes, gushes. What a corny, cheerful chapter, no? Ha. Okay. But I sort of liked it! But aren't you praising me now? I made Hermione admit that she had feelings for Draco! How wonderful, no? But this chapter seemed a little _too_ happy for me... didn't it seem that way for you? Don't worry - the rough times should be kicking in sooner or later. Review? I would love you too!

Much love and tons of kisses,  
Sevengee/Lina.


	15. The Solution And The Problem

Authors Notes: Welcome fellow friends in Fanfiction. We are gathered here today, to witness the unraveling of this story. Do you accept to read further and wait patiently for the next chapter? I'm guessing yes. So read on!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

The Solution And The Problem

**xxxxxx **

I don't know how I'd gotten myself into this, or what possessed me into agreeing to help organize this party but somehow I did, and now I'm stuck making invitations and making all these wonderful preperations.

For a Baby Shower.

It seems that Potter and Weasley, the dolts, had promised Hermione one when she was in hospital. And they, having no real connections with party planners or planning in general, grudgingly sought out my help. Though I was unwilling, I couldn't say no to their puppy dog faces and peasant-like begging. Besides, I _had_ to help after I'd made them recite, "Draco Malfoy is the most amazing wizard in the world and he is my Hero."

But it was so worth it.

It wasn't hard keeping the surprise shower a secret for the first few days because Hermione was still on bed rest in the Hospital Wing. She was there for about three more days after I'd first visited her, but then when she was released, I had to hide all my paper work and planning agency cards so I could keep her in the dark about the whole thing. It wasn't very easy.

"Draco... why are there envelopes scattered everywhere around our dorm?"

I glanced around quickly and spotted the two runaway invitation envelopes. I snatched them immediately out of sight and stuffed them inside my coat pocket. "From the Ministry," I explained, "about the whole intern-ship." She threw me a curious look. "Yeah," I said fervently, "the Minister's really into his colour these days. Wacky guy, huh?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "I'm telling you, Government these days is going down the drain." I nodded.

"Oh yeah, definitely."

When she left the room, I sighed and dropped everything in my hands. There was always something inside our dorm you would be able to spot that would somehow hint to the party, and I was always conscious about it. If Hermione found out, Potter and Weasley would no doubt blame it on me, and only have even more of a reason to kick my ass.

Preperation was almost finished. Over the next week, all I would have to do is give the invitations, which I was doing today, and get the RSVP's. The following day would be my quidditch game against Ravenclaw, and I would definitely win for the team, so it would be back to back great days. All I had to do was keep everything a secret, and train hard like crazy. Pretty easy, right?

Somewhere inside the living room I heard our fireplace light up and instantly I panicked. I knew very well who it was, and I definitely did not want to talk to that person.

"Draco?" someone called. Hermione popped her head outside of her bedroom.

"Is it Susie again?" she whispered. I nodded irritatedly, already walking my way to the fireplace. "Does she still want her stuff back?" Hermione asked once more. I nodded again. She gave me a pitying smile before shutting her door to give me privacy. I sighed.

"Hi," I said to Susie inside the fireplace. She looked at me sullenly.

"Can we talk about this whole thing for a second?"

"No," I said strongly with a wave of my hand, "we can't. It's over and I have to work. I'm sorry, but I can't." There were so many other ways I could turn her down but I just didn't have the heart. This was, what? Her second time asking for me back? It was almost torturing me!

"But Draco..."

I smiled at her as best I could, but she was beginning to annoy me. "Susie, I know you want to get back together again, but I don't regret breaking up with you. I don't have time for a relationship and I need to be thinking about my child. Maybe later on in the future, but I don't advise you to wait for me. You're a great girl and shouldn't be wasting your time on me. Come on Susie, you'll move on." I threw her my most positive smile. She looked at me sadly only for a moment but managed a crooked smile.

"Okay," she answered. Hey, what a good sport. No arguements this time!

I nodded and cut off the connection quickly before she could put another word in. I should really begin to block our connection from her, because now she'd just begun to annoy me. Defeatedly, I fell back onto a couch and let out a long breath.

"Phew."

I really didn't regret breaking up with Susie, as I'd told her in the fireplace. I know I had told Hermione different, that she had broken up with me instead, but I couldn't let her know. She could have taken it the wrong way, and I didn't want her getting any ideas. I broke up with Susie because I had to focus on Hermione and the baby, and not a short term girlfriend. Nothing else.

In reality, Susie was really supportive when she found out about Hermione in hospital. She was really great. All she wanted me to do was be with Hermione and play the role of the parent and take care of my child's mother. Don't get me wrong, I loved how she let me be the man I had to be for Hermione, and also her boyfriend at the same time, but getting the news and seeing Hermione in pain like that just made me realize how stupid it was of me to get involved with someone I didn't really like, when I should be taking care of my kid.

I still went to my date, although I was a little flustered. Susie could tell it was still bothering me and sent me away to be with Hermione. So I went, but I dumped her in the process. I know it was probably a bad thing for me to do, since Susie had been nothing but wonderful, but being with her felt wrong, and I had to do something about it. Dumping her was the only way.

"What happened?" Hermione said, popping her head outside of her door. "Did you guys make-up or something?" she looked at me cautiously though I ignored it.

"No, we're still broken up," Hermione smiled. Did she look just a little bit pleased? No, no. I ignored it. "Shouldn't you be resting?" I asked her pressingly.

"Oh, yeah," she said, scratching her head, "I sort of figured... I could... work a little bit instead..."

"No," I said sternly, standing up and guiding her back to her bed. I let her groan pass and forced her onto her bed. "The medi-nurses told you to rest, and not to be working, not even on school work. Just a few more days and you'll be able to be as busy as bee, okay?"

"Too long," she muttered, as she tucked herself in bed. I folded the blanket on top of her and felt good about myself. Isn't this is what all soon to be Father's do for their expectant other? Oh yes, perhaps I'll be a great father yet!

"Not long enough," I retracted. I watched as Hermione moved to position herself to a comfortable position in her bed. As she lay still and began to breathe softly with her eyes closed, I had to restrain myself from kissing her on the forehead. Or worse, on the...

I jerked my head away, and to compensate for not giving her some form of farewell, I brushed my hand against her cheek softly. I saw Hermione smile with her eyes closed, and so did I. Ugh, what's going on?

With a quick shiver, I erased all thoughts of Hermione from my head (reluctantly, might I add) and focused on the task at hand. The Baby Shower and handing out all invitations, and make sure no one breathed a word of it near her. Then, quidditch practice, where I would train in the fierce cold.

Another day in the life of an expectant Father.

**xxxxxx **

"Ooh!" the girls of Hufflepuff exclaimed. I tensed and had to stop myself from telling them to quit it, because it had been my millionth 'ooh,' of the day, as I personally handed out invitations.

"A baby shower!" Hanna Abbott proclaimed. No duh, dimwit. "How exciting!"

"Yeah," I said, with fake kindness. I couldn't help but be a little angry, but I was already running late for my practice! The one I'd scheduled myself and up to the moment, have so rudely been late to. "We hope you can come," and I began to walk away quickly, but had no chance.

"Should we come early to help prepare?"

"No thanks, I've got people for that." And I did. I wasn't paying the planners good money for nothing.

"Won't the Three Broomsticks be heavy with people that aren't part of the shower though?" one of the girls questioned me.

I shook my head no. "I've reserved it for a couple of hours just for my use."

"How convenient," one of the girls said. I smiled impatiently.

"I hope to see you there then. Please RSVP within the coming week."

As I sighed and walked away, I began to change my direction to the quidditch field. I would be without my practice suit and broomstick, but I would do fine with one of the spares.

"Oi, Malfoy!" I cursed and stomped my foot. Was everyone against me going to practice?

"Yes?" I barked back.

"How is the planning going?" someone asked me. I knew it well enough to be Potter's.

"Fine, no thanks to you," I bit back at him, as I continued to walk.

"Food - "

"Taken care of."

"The place - "

"It's handled."

"Invitations - "

"It's done. Can I get to my quidditch practice yet?" I asked, rather rudely.

He looked at me with an amused look and I could barely contain myself. I was angry that the giving for the invitations had taken me so long, that my team was probably going to yell at me for being late, and Potter had the guts to ask about the Baby Shower _he _suggested when I was planning it all!

"Sorry, but I have a practice to be attending, and I'm already late for it! And by the way, thanks for helping out with all the planning, it's going to turn out great, considering it was your wonderful idea! And no, I do not want to calm down so don't bother asking!"

He seemed to back off a little as I continued to exploded. Perhaps I frightened brave old Potter just a little bit? Ha, Go me!

"Hanging out with a pregnant woman rubbing off on you, ferret?"

"No, just idiots like you pissing me off. Now if you don't mind, I have a game to prepare for next week and I can't -"

"No you don't," Harry said.

"What? Yes I do," I denied.

"No, you don't. This is why I came up to you - not just to ask about the baby shower."

"I don't understand."

"The game's been moved up, because the Ravenclaw team apparently has something or other to deal with. It's all been cleared up with McGonagall and the Heads of Houses, so... you're game is actually going to be on the day of the Baby Shower."

I lifted my head in confusion and jutted out my bottom lip. "Well that will be a tough schedule to run... the game and then the shower. I'll have to finish the game quick."

Potter fidgeted and I could tell that perhaps he was leaving something out. "What?" I asked him.

"Well you see... it's not just the same day as the Baby Shower but... the same time as well."

"_What?_" I asked. How did that happen so quickly? "But - but - I can't miss the game! I can't just leave the game for a Baby Shower, that's preposterous, what was Ravenclaw thinking - ?"

"I actually think this was Marcus Miles' fault. He's the seeker for Ravenclaw, you know? He suggested the date be moved up from what I hear. And you know how the ugly pra you and Hermione."

Anger boiled inside of me, and I felt the urge to go find the bloke right now and punch him like I did long before. "Well then... I might have to miss the shower for the game!"

"You would actually choose quidditch over your child's own baby shower?" My forehead came together in guilt, as Potter let the words come out of his mouth. That was quite true... but what could I do about it? I'd been preparing for this game for weeks and the Baby Shower just a few days! How am I supposed to pick between them?

"I... don't know," I answered truthfully. And suddenly I didn't feel like going to practice anymore. "I'll see you later," I told him, and I began to trek my way towards my dorm with Hermione, forgetting completely about the team. I had to talk it out with her, and I wasn't sure why.

**xxxxxx**

I was still rehearsing my words as I entered the dorm, trying to figure out what I would tell Hermione and ask her outright which one she thinks I should attend. I figured I would just wake her up from her sleep to ask but she was already up and bustling around the kitchen making herself food.

"Back from practice already?" Hermione asked, while placing a pan over our stove.

"No, I didn't attend," I told her truthfully.

"Why?" she asked, while popping one of the vegetables in her mouth that she was using to make her meal.

"I had some things to take care - and a nice detour with Potter."

Her shoulders sagged visibly and a disappointed look crossed her face. "Please don't tell me you two fought - why can't you guys ever just get along? Honestly, it's not that hard, stop being such babies and - "

"I was handing out invitations for your surprise Baby Shower when he told me my quidditch game with Ravenclaw had been moved up, to the same time and date as the shower. I'll probably have to find out which one I'm going to attend, and which one I'll miss."

Hermione looked at me with no emotion for a moment before a reaction had finally formed on her lips. "You were planning a surprise Baby Shower for me?" she asked.

"Yeah... hence the envelopes all over the dorm."

"And... you have a quidditch game the same time and day as my Baby Shower?"

"Yeah."

"So... you'll be leaving me for the game?"

"No, no, no, no," I said continuously, while walking up to her and seating the both of us down on stools. "I haven't even made a decision yet. I told you about it because I didn't want to make the decision - I want you to make the decision for me instead."

"Me?" she said, as if the idea were something completely out of the blue.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because you're opinion matters most to me and I care about what you think."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, c'mon Hermione I - " my breath got stuck in my throat and for a moment I was almost horrified of what would have completed that sentence. Love her? Was that it?

"You...?" she asked me. Her face was so hopeful, so curious I really had to stop myself from caressing it, or some corny thing like that.

"I - need to know what you want me to do," I told her truthfully.

"Well..." she fidgeted in her seat a little, and kept on glancing at me uncomfortably. I knew for a fact she would have wanted me at her Baby Shower more than anything, but she also wanted me to play for the team, so my hard work wouldn't have been for nothing. She knew I'd trained myself ragged and bloody just for this game, and it wasn't even the finals.

"Well?" I asked her.

She sighed, and clasped her hands over mine. "I think you should play."

I was a little blown away by her decision. Did she just say I should play? "You think so?"

"Yeah - I know how much it means to you. Besides, this Baby Shower... I'll have my friends with me."

But she wouldn't have me. And I couldn't help but cringe at the thought.

"Okay."

I patted her stomach lightly, which was plump and round by now, and began to get up. "Maybe I'll finish the game early and make it in time for the end of the shower," I told her encouragingly. But I knew the odds were pretty low. Ravenclaw and Slytherin were tough competitors, and an early end would be a miracle.

"Yeah," she agreed, but I'm sure Hermione knew the same things as me.

I began walking away, over to the living room where I would try and occupy myself with a book - though I knew it wouldn't happen. I didn't know whether or not I was happy with her decision, but she was firm with it, so I would do what Hermione wanted. On the other hand - I was so confused with my feelings for her. Blaise's taunts about my feelings for her never once stopped reverberating in my mind, and now I think I began to believe them. Were they guilty feelings? I hardly doubted it. If they were, I would have had them long ago when I got the news. But I jerked my head and shook the thought away.

I could never fall in love with Hermione Granger.

**xxxxxx **

The day had finally come for the Baby Shower and the Quidditch game. And I was not prepared whatsoever.

Plannig had gone smoothly, and at the moment, I knew that the band was already set up to play, the food had arrived, decorations were up, and guests were filing in for Hermione to come. I asked Hermione earlier to act surprised, as I'd spoiled the news, so I had no doubt she would do a good job in faking. The stands would be a little empty because of this little affair, but I didn't care.

I had bid Hermione my farewell much too early than I had liked, and made my way to the changing rooms where I spent most of my time preparing myself for the catcalls and jeers from the audience. I tried to picture myself in the Three Broomsticks with Hermione, saying hello to guests and having a good time, to make myself feel a little bit better but it was no help. I knew where I would rather be right now.

"No pre-game pep talk?" Blaise asked me.

I shook my head no.

"Why aren't you at the shower instead?"

"Because Hermione wanted me here," I told him simply. Blaise nodded, noticing that I wasn't in my best mood, and walked away. My answer satisfied him. But not me.

Hermione didn't want me at the shower, which is why she told me to come here instead. Now I knew for a fact she had no feelings for me. But why did that matter again? I really had to stop rubbing it in that she didn't like me romantically. It was torturing me for some reason.

"It'll turn out okay," Blaise said to me consolingly, as I picked up my broom and took my place in the starting line up at the front. He stood diagonally behind me with his broomstick and bat. He was one of the two beaters for Slytherin. "Don't worry," he said.

I nodded and took my position on my broom, and flew out, cascading myself with a huge amount of light, and a lot of cheering.

"Welcome!" said a loud, energetic voice to the audience. "To the Quidditch semi-finals between Slyterhin..." a loud rumble of applause came from one side of the stadium. I ignored it. "And Ravenclaw!" A thunderous noise reverberated around me.

"Captains, shake hands," Madam Hooch ordered me and the captain of the Ravenclaw team. Just behind him I could see Marcus Miles smirking, hunched forward on his broomstick. Noticing this, I crushed the other captain's hands by mistake, and he parted with a grimace. I flew back to my position, as I waited for Madam Hooch to throw the quaffle in the air.

The game began with a loud cheer from the crowd and quickly I circled the perimeter. If I just finished early then maybe I could make it in time for the end of the shower... I could find it now with some serious luck and make it for half of the shower! It would be a great way to end the game - but there would be no such luck for me.

I had not spotted it for at least an hour and a few minutes now, and was beginning to get impatient. I didn't like letting my games last more than an hour. I kept on flitting my eyes towards Marcus, and he too had no such luck.

Hoping that this would in fact be real, I faked a triumphant look, and darted to a random area of the stadium. I could feel the crowd's eyes on me with excitement, but little did they know I had spotted nothing. I looked behind me to see if Miles was tailing me, but he wasn't. The idiot had gone in a completely different direction at full speed. The snitch wasn't there.

Woops. Jinxed myself.

As I narrowed my eyes, I spotted the gold flicking from left to right in the same direction, and Marcus Miles' outstretched hand going for it. He was much too close. But I wouldn't let him catch it. I quickly came up to full speed with my broom, and raced towards him. I wouldn't let him get another inch closer.

I was soon right beside him, attempting to budge him out of the way. He budged back just as hard, and flung me off course a couple of times, but I only returned with a vengeance. This continued for much too long. Without notice, the snitch took off in a different direction, and I couldn't see it anywhere.

"Great job!" Miles taunted with an angry face. "If you had just let me catch it, then maybe you could have attended you're lame shower."

"Well maybe if you hadn't forced the game to move up a day you wouldn't get your ass kicked so badly today in the match!"

"I highly doubt that," he said, as he tailed me.

"I was only going to let you lose by a little, Miles, but now, you'll be laughed right out of Hogwarts."

"You won't be in the lead for too long," he said.

"It's 170 to 100, you gaping git. And when I catch the snitch you'll have lost by the most points Hogwarts has had in a decade!"

In a fit of anger, Marcus flung himself right at me, but prepared for it already, I swung right out of the way. He banged himself up pretty hard against one of the stands, and I looked at the crowd, laughing at him. And then a glowing face reached my eyes.

"Go Draco!" I heard Hermione screech, waving a flag at me. I had to blink a million times before I actually realized it was her.

"_Hermione?_" Wasn't she supposed to be at the shower? "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough to see you fake seeing the snitch!"

I darted my eyes back from her to Marcus, watching him fly back up to my level. He saw who I was talking to and smirked.

"Well what do we have here?" he drawled. "Gave up your shower to be with dear old Draco?"

Hermione turned her lip up in defiance. "You're losing enough without getting distracted, Miles." Hermione threw me a very casual, sneaky look, which Miles interpreted as nothing.

"What, perhaps, have you named your baby, Granger? Perhaps Phantom? They'll probably have the face of one when they're born, eh? Have to wear a mask and all."

"You don't ever say a thing about my child ever again," Hermione warned, and I would have said so too, except my eyes were searching the field. Hermione had given me that look so I would be able to find the snitch before him. She was just distracting him.

"I'll say what I want."

"I guess you can't help it with that dirty mouth of yours."

"It's hard to keep this mouth shut when there are so many fools like you walking around."

I could tell Hermione bit her tongue as I continued to search.

"Do you find it funny the Father of your child has not yet defended you?" Miles added, while he taunted Hermione. She opened her mouth to retort, but just as she and I had planned, I spotted the snitch and darted away. I was going to catch it. Behind me before I was completely gone, I heard Miles laugh.

"The coward's already run away!"

Perhaps Hermione smirked. I hope she did for some added effect.

"Because he's caught the snitch."

And the moment I heard that, my hands had closed around it. Marcus Miles' outraged scream was heard all across the field.

I flew downwards amid the immense clapping that thundered inside my ears. My teammates were already clapping me on the back as I came down, but I ignored them, my eyes only on the girl who came running down from the stands, her arms wide open, just for me.

I landed messily and dropped the broomstick to the ground. I let go of the snitch, and heard "Slyterthin wins! Draco Malfoy has caught the snitch! Slytherin will be going to the finals and Gryffindor will play against Ravenclaw for the spot next to Slytherin!" I was almost on my way towards her but my team had grabbed me around the collar. I turned my face away from them, so I could look at Hermione. She two was stuck with her Gryffindor friends, already plotting their defeat against us.

"You won!" Hermione screeched, ten feet away from me, and the middle of the field. Everyone was around us, all the Slytherins jumping around in joy.

"So I did," I said modestly. "Thanks for the help."

"It was my pleasure," she said in earnest.

"Why did you leave the shower?" I shouted, over all the laughter and yelling.

"Because it didn't feel right without you!" she screeched right back. I couldn't take it.

I broke away from my team, and she broke away from her friends. We met in the center of the field, and before I could help myself, I hugged her so hard, I may have popped the baby out by accident. I lifted her into the air and twirled her and she laughed. This only confirmed to me my feelings for her. That I did fall for her. That I was in love with her.

"I can't believe it!" she yelled, as I brought her back down and held her in my arms.

Neither could I.

-

-

-

TBC.

A/N: Woohooo! Isn't it pretty darn awesome that they both love each other? Woo-hoo! And now, all they have to do is admit it to each other! Pretty simple, eh? Ah, if only it could be that simple! Hopefully you guys liked this! Until my next chapter, later peeps!


	16. First You Hate To Love

Authors Notes: Say hello to the new chapter!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

First You Hate To Love

**xxxxxx**

I don't know when things began to be different between Draco and I. Maybe when we parted hugs and stared into the each others eyes, as if we were the only people in the stadium after the quidditch match? Perhaps when we had an amazing time when I was in hospital? Maybe it was even when he found out he was the Father of our baby. I don't know.

Things were just... _different._

In a good way though. A good, uncomfortable way. We would find each other in a crowded room, and smile. We would see the other in class, and find a suddenly open seat next to each other. We would smile, with our lips and our eyes. And it was good.

I liked him. A lot. Maybe love him? But I felt something strong for him, and for the first time, in a really, really long time - after finding out about the pregnancy and finally telling him... I was _scared. _

"You don't want to go out tonight, do you?" Draco asked me, while I sat across him, tapping my quill. I flipped the pages in my book, and set it aside.

"Not really. I'm actually really tired." We were in our living room, and the dusty fumes and darkness of the room really set off my sleepy mood. I had to stifle about a million yawns, but of course, I couldn't, as much as I tried.

"Do you want to sleep?"

In your arms? Sure, why not? "Yes."

"That's fine with me. Let's go - I'll help you to your room."

Draco, in all his glory, strode across the table, and picked me up, draping my one arm over his shoulder, and hauling my chunky self to my bedroom. He still had to steer clear of my bulging stomach though, which I sadly noticed was as big as two bowling balls. I sighed. My baby was going to be fat.

"Draco," I moaned, when he sat me on my bed, "our baby is going to be fat," I announced suddenly.

"What? Why would you say that?"

"Because it is!"

"Our baby will not be fat," he said. Not that there was anything wrong with fat. Fat was cute and cute meant beauty.

"How do you know?"

"Because this baby," he gently forced me back onto my bed by the shoulders, "will have incredible genes." He winked at me, and I could tell he or she would also have an ego the size of my stomach, thanks to their Father.

"You're so full of yourself," I said, while getting into the blanket.

"Look who's talking," he laughed. I only glared at him, unable to fight back my sleepiness. "Go away," I muttered, while closing my eyes. Even though it was the last thing I wanted. I really wanted him to stay with me in bed, and tell me more about our baby. He knew it inside and out even before it was going to be born.

"Rest," he said softly, after tucking my blankets in. I suddenly felt warm and cozy. Why couldn't he just join me?

"Have to let your baby's mother get _some _shut-eye, right?"

"Yeah. Wish I could say the same for myself."

"You get some sleep too, Daddy. You'll be needing it."

"Me? Sleep? I'm a night person, you know that."

By now, my eyes had already closed, and I was having a blind conversation. "Sure. Just... try to get some rest? It's not just me who needs it."

He sighed, and brushed his hand across my forehead. His new sign of affection for me. "Sure."

I heard him walk across the room, and towards the door. I was a little confused that I didn't hear the door shut, but I guessed he just wanted to keep it open, so he had an eye on me. Then I felt him smile, really felt it, and mutter, "Hermione... you're such a good friend." And then he shut the door.

At the exact same moment, my eyes shot open, and I (somewhat) sat up in my bed. Friend? Friend? I was such a good friend? My heart sank deep into it's hole. I was his good friend. _Friend._

And what should be a good word in life, one that means you're not alone and that you have people to turn to, I turned it into an ugly one, and scowled at it, as if it were right in front of me, staring daggers. Friend. A worthless word. I was just his friend - nothing else. He saw me as nothing else.

I sank slowly back into my blankets, and shut my eyes, still pretending to glower at the ugly word.

Friend.

**xxxxxx**

"Hey, sleepy head. Wake up!"

I woke up to the sight of blinding light, and instantly my arm moved to cover my eyes. I slept up till morning and I was suddenly glad it was a weekend.

"Sod off, Draco," I muttered, while getting back into bed.

"It's not Draco, it's Ginny!" I smacked my forehead, and scolded myself for always wanting and thinking that the person to always want to speak to me first thing in the morning was Draco. Had I fallen that deep for him, unknowingly?

"Sorry Gin... it's just early and I - I ..." I yawned, sat up, and rubbed my eyes, "I'm still half asleep," I finished.

"Sure you are," Ginny said, as if she knew something I didn't. I ignored her, and patted my belly.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to know if you were up for visiting Hogsmeade this afternoon. Are you?"

I groaned, and patted my big, round belly again. "I don't think so."

"Why?"

"Just 'cause I don't feel like it. I'm so tired!" I exclaimed, in a very un-tired away. Ginny nodded and sat down on the end of my bed. "How's the little thing?" Ginny had taken to calling the baby _thing_ for some reason. I thought it was hilarious.

"My _baby,_ is fine."

She laughed at me. "What about the daddy?"

I sighed, remembering his departing words last night, and the new evil word. Friend. "The daddy who I'm only friends with?" I muttered. I had said it quietly enough, but Ginny acted like she heard it.

"Things not going so well between the two of you?"

"No," I said, "things are going fine. But... but..." But what's the good of me having feelings for him when he doesn't return them?

"But?"

"I dunno," I said. She smiled at me again, the same sneaky smile, but I avoided looking at it, for fear that I might admit my feelings for him to her. But it wasn't as if she didn't already secretly know. "Where is he anyways?" Draco usually would have been in my room now, reciting our schedule for the day, while Ginny rolled her eyes. I looked beyond her, and the dorm was empty.

"Left a note on the fridge saying he went out with his mindless cronies for a while and would be back in the late afternoon."

"He actually put that?"

"No. But he should've."

I smiled crookedly. "Well, my day's going to be boring," I muttered, half sad that Draco didn't tell me himself.

"Which is why you should come to Hogsmeade with me," she suggested with a grin.

"Can we go buy baby clothes?"

"Whatever floats your broom."

"Okay!"

I got out of bed and pushed her out of my room, to give me the privacy of changing alone. Who would want to see a pregnant woman half-naked anyways? I launched myself at my cloest, ready to attack the clothes, when I noticed the book Draco had given me when I was in hospital, lying on my night stand. I paused, and picked it up.

The leathery read book looked new still, but the inside was much different. I'd highlighted names and important facts, suggested things I do with the baby and all those things. Draco had given it to me. I thought he might love me then. But, now, I know he never will.

Sighing, I sat down and lay it in my lap. I stared. Stared and stared. I didn't know what else to do.

"Get your hiney moving, preggers!" Ginny yelled from outside. I jumped out of my thought, and set it aside gently where I found it. I had to go to Hogsmeade with Ginny and play the role of best friend. Surely that would take my mind off of things.

But then again, being a friend wasn't the greatest thing on my mind right now.

**xxxxxx **

Later, I returned with a dozen bags of new clothes for the baby (mix-matched boy and girl clothes, just 'cause Ginny and I figured we could toy around with them and make something completely new and stylish), as exhausted as I was earlier yesterday. Draco was already sitting on the couch, waiting for me.

"You were out long," he said.

"Only for four hours," I said, setting aside my things. For some reason, I couldn't look him in the eye.

"How was Hogsmeade?"

"Fine. How was hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle and the sort?" I asked, more out of boredness than interest.

"Fine."

I yawned, and went towards my bedroom. "Would you mind whipping something up while I rested?"

"Way ahead of you, Hermione. Casserole with pickles on the side tonight."

My mouth watered as if on cue, as the smell of dinner wafted towards my nose. "How much do I pay you again?"

Draco snorted. "Here, just lay down on the couch. It's almost ready, anyways." He stood up, and left the couch, swatting away all the wrinkles he had made. I took it most greedily, and almost instantly went to sleep.

"Hermione?" he asked, standing before me.

"Yeah?"

"How many months along are you?"

"Five and a half now. Why?"

"Dunno. Just felt like asking."

"Want the baby to pop out now?" I murmured. I didn't know about him, but I certainly did.

"Well, I can wait a while."

"Why is that?" I asked with curiosity.

"Well..." I could almost feel him fidget. "I've kind of liked these past few months with you. It's been really fun."

"I know. I think so too." I thought that this was a bit odd of him. Why the sudden topic?

"I've come to really…" He paused.

"Really what?"

To my great and utter surprise, he knelt so that he and I were eye to eye. I sat there, still and silent, trying to figure out the rest of his sentence. And I panicked completely.

"Are you _proposing_ to me?" I half screeched/blurted.

He looked at me, appalled, completely caught off guard and utterly embarassed. Quite like myself, actually.

"No! No, no, no, no! Not at all!"

"Then what are you saying?" I demanded.

He looked at me cautiously this time, all sign of surprise taken away from the crease of his forehead, replaced with intense thought. "I've come to really… _love, _you, Hermione." And he gave me a knowing look.

I had to try really, really hard after that to say "No, _I_ love _you!_ I love you so much!" But I didn't. Instead, I just sat there, wondering where all this came from, and then I remembered I was just his friend. He was just trying to make me feel better. The love he was talking about was friendly love. And this realization made me want to sit down and cry for a while. But I had to hide it somehow. So I did the first thing that came to mind.

I blurted out with laughter.

"Aw, me too, Draco! " I paused, letting my great act catch up with him, "I love you too! You're one of my greatest friends!" I saw him staring at me, unable to react himself, but I thought I saw sadness cross his face. I ignored it. It was just my imagination.

"Oh... oh, yeah, I know," he said, mumbling a little, yet confirming my thoughts all along. He didn't have feelings for me. "I just thought that since the birth is in about three months, I should tell you now what a run we've had, and how much I'm enjoying all this."

I sighed, breathing in and out after my little burst of laughter. Draco stared at me and I ignored the fact that it was almost a hard glare. Then, it turned into a blank face, and then an angry scowl. It was just so sudden, I could hardly catch it.

"You okay? " I asked, wondering if I was the reason for that look on his face.

"Yup." But his tone of voice had changed as well. It was hard, and his face was stony. I stopped laughing immediately.

"What's… wrong? Have I done something?" I asked.

"You haven't done a thing." He shook his head, and stood up. He was still giving me that stony look, like I'd done something wrong.

"Where are you going?" I asked, after I spotted him trying to leave the dorm. It was six o'clock in the evening and we still had homework to do!

"None of your business," he said coldly; and for some reason, I felt like bursting into tears. What had I done wrong? He was the one that didn't love me. He broke _my _heart.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He stopped at the frame of the door, about to leave, but I didn't have the heart to stop him. All I wanted was to take back the moment, and tell him the truth: that I loved him even though he didn't love me the exact same way. He just had to know.

"I'll be back. See you later. _Friend._"

And then he slammed the door behind him, gone. I couldn't believe it. The only thing I could do was wait for him to come home, and explain his sudden anger. I ignored the fact that I should be the one who was angry, when he was the one that didn't love me. Half of me thought he knew I did, and just wanted to get my hopes up for no reason with that whole conversation. My eyes blinded with tears, but I held them back. Instead, I yelled and called him every name in the book , hurting him as much as possible.

Another night alone in a pregnant woman's life.

**xxxxxx **

It was late now - maybe around eleven, when I heard the door to our common room close. I sighed, glad he was finally home, for he'd been gone for hours. His departure was sudden, and moody, and I was glad we could patch it up now, apologize for being idiots.

I opened the door of my room, and found Draco in the kitchen, head stuck inside the fridge, looking for something. I watched him pull out a firewhiskey, and sighed. I had to get him away from the drinks, because I more than anybody knew how he could get with alcohol in his hands.

"Where have you been?" I demanded. Probably not a good start, considering the fact that I wanted to clear the air between us.

"Where have you been?" he mimicked me, in a very high pitched voice. I narrowed my eyes, angry at him now.

"No need to be childish," I said. He mimicked me once more.

I put my hands on my waist, and glared at him. He only looked back, indifferently, and I suddenly had to know why he was acting like this; so rude and careless.

"What's your problem?" I yelled, using my hands for emphasis. "Why are you acting like this?"

As if my sudden burst of anger had fuelled him, he glared at me, really _glared, _frightening me to the bone. I had to stop myself from shivering, or backing away. Almost like I used to when he was just the boy who raped me.

"Why am _I_ acting like _this?_" he said, equally loud. Suddenly, I was glad we were hundreds of floors away from eavesdropping company. "Are you that dense, Granger?"

I narrowed my eyes, narrower than they had been before, and shrugged. "Am I supposed to know something?"

He smiled, no, sneered, and began sauntering his way in front of me. I didn't back away, as hard as it was to give in, but I had to stand my ground. This was the confrontation we had been waiting for for weeks. I smelled his sweaty, smelly breath, and the scent of alcohol made me want to vomit. He was drunk.

And now I was really scared.

"Yes, you're supposed to know something!" he yelled, grabbing me around the shoulders and shaking me. I yelped and tried to let myself loose, but his grip was just too strong. This scene was all too familiar for me.

"I - I'm sorry! What is it?" I pleaded, saying anything he wanted just so he would stop.

"Don't you know Hermione? Don't you know?" he repeated, shaking me every time he yelled. I cringed, and held back my tears. I pushed him away, but he only came back with a vengeance.

"You're drunk!" I spat. The same words I said that one ugly night, that seemed so long ago; when Draco was evil. When he wasn't my Draco. This drunk, angry one wasn't mine.

"Come on, Hermione, this is fun," he said, roughly letting me go. He backed off, staring daggers at me, but I stood where I was, even though I was free to flee to the safety of my bedroom. With all my anger, I ran towards him, and punched him in the chest with both my hands, swinging back and forth, back and forth, trying to hurt him as he hurt me that night, and this night.

Hardly caring that I was punching like a five year old, and wailing like one too, I continued, hoping he felt something. "What's the matter with you!" I shrieked.

"The matter with me? What about you, Hermione? What about you?" he growled, picking me off him like I was a toddler, and holding me in front of him, back to shaking me.

"Let go!" I whined.

"Thought you could always do this? Keep me hanging by a string, doing your bidding, hoping, praying that you felt something for me too?"

I paused now, stopped crying, stopped shrieking, and let him talk. "Thought you could just laugh things off like that and call me your friend? Just to spite me? All 'cause of what I did that night, when I was drunk and vulnerable? Huh? You're still mad at me for that night!?" His last word was literally growled, and yelled like some beast. I cringed with his every word.

"I did what I could! Did everything so I wouldn't feel guilty and so you would see me the way I see you!" he spat. Again, I cringed and I cringed. "I thought you could see I was different; that I changed..." he trailed off, as if he was suddenly weak. Slowly, his grip on me loosened and I began to fall away from him, keeping distance between me and this crazy man.

"When I told you I loved you back there," his voice was weary, "I meant it. And even as I try explaining it now, you're still scared of me." I suppressed a gasp, for I had just found out that I had interpreted his words completely wrong. I'd acted such a fool, and hurt his feelings for no reason. But how could I feel guilty about all that, when he was acting like _this? _

"I thought you knew that I changed."

"No... you haven't changed," I said, after a moment of silence. I blinked back my tears and summoned all my courage. "If you can still be like this... treat me like this... come home to me like this, the same way you were that night when you hurt me..." he flinched, but I continued, "...then you haven't changed at all."

I closed my bedroom door when I realized that I had finally reached it, and slid down the polished wood, so that I was hugging my knees to my chest. I cried for the same reason I cried when he raped me; because I was beaten and hurt, and didn't want to face him. His voice was still in my ears, ringing like it wanted to torture me. _I thought you could see I was different... that I changed. _I could see nothing at all.

"Fine!" I heard him yell, blundering like a fool. My tears fell like rain drops on my cheeks. "See how you do without me for one day, Granger, just watch! You know you need me! You..." but I drained his ugly voice out; the yelling, the stomping. It was nothing to me.

All along, he had felt something for me too. Loved me so strong that I drove him to drunken madness, when I told him I didn't feel the same way. I had hurt him, just as he hurt me. The thoughts came rushing down, piercing me right where it hurt most. We were both such fools… and though we loved each other the most, we hurt each other the most.

This was going to be a long night.

-

-

-

To be continued...  
A/N: Whoaness! What happened there? Quite the awful confrontation of the feelings, eh? Sorry, I just felt their relationship was going too good. Had to add an arguement to shake things up! Don't worry, hopefully things will get better between them 8). R&R if you love Dramione!


	17. The Sun Will Fill The Sky

Authors Notes: Seventeen! You're favourite number of the day, I _assume? _Hahaha x Read to find out why I think that's so funny. Hahaha x

And **btw… **I got the nicest reviews from you guys last chapter, and though you probably already know, I read and love every one of them, so thank you again so much. You guys flatter me to no end!

**xxxxxx **

**When You Lose Your Way**

The Sun Will Fill The Sky

**xxxxxx **

A gentle nudge poked me in the ribs every now and then, as I floated in and out of consciousness. I was sleeping on a bed that wasn't mine, in a room that wasn't mine, and with a sleeping partner that definitely wasn't mine.

"_Blaise?_" I asked, when his face finally swam into my view.

"Morning, Sunshine," he said cheerfully. I looked down, and saw the hangings of his four poster drawn close together, and his usually twin bed enlarged to a queen size just for me. I groaned.

"Are you willing to explain how I got here, or does this hangover explain it all?"

"I'd have to say half and half," he answered, still in his cheerful voice. "Gave me quite a fright when you barged in your old bedroom with us boys and snuggled in. Didn't even care to explain why you were drunk in the first place, Mister Soon-To-Be-Father-And-Supposed-To-Be-Responsible-Guy."

I groaned, as little bits of last night began piecing themselves in my mind.

"I'm an _idiot,_" I exclaimed, getting out of bed and shoving his curtains away. I fought the wave of nausea that hit me when I swung up, and was hardly able to contain the gunk already forming from leaving my throat.

"Old news," he said, sitting up. "So what happened?" Being my best friend, I'm guessing he probably knew it had to do with Hermione.

"Um," I said, stripping quickly out of my pyjamas and pulling out one of Blaise's spare uniforms for me to wear. It was murder for my head. "Tried... admitting my feelings for Hermione but only got laughed at... uh, was driven to drunken madness because of her reply... came home completely tipsy, yelled a few insults, confessed some... slept in your bed..." I shivered at that.

"Whoa," Blaise said, after I'd fixed up my tie.

"I know," I moaned. This was loud enough to stir the other sleepers in the room, not that I cared. Crabbe and Goyle usually slept through these kinds of things.

"You actually _slept _in my bed - and I didn't hear you snoring!"

I glared at him, almost flipped him the bird, but sighed. "Be serious."

"Sorry," he said, a hint of pity on his face. "What are you going to do?"

"Deh?" Crabbe said, rubbing his eyes. I rolled my own and ignored him.

"Avoid her and hope she forgot?" I suggested. But Blaise immediately made that noise that meant you were wrong. _Ehhh. _It echoed in my head and I swayed where I stood. Evil hangovers. "Well, what else can I do?"

Blaise gave me a completely astonished look. "Apologize?" As if the word had never crossed my mind.

"Sure - maybe when she cools down."

"Now would be good," he suggested.

"Whuzz goin' on?" Crabbe said, obviously still groggy. Actually, no. That was really how he spoke.

"Get back to bed," I ordered, and immediately he snuggled in.

"Why were you in bed with Blaise?" he questioned suspiciously.

"Because I'm secretly in love," I said sarcastically, which I shouldn't have. Crabbe plus sarcasm equalled complete confusion.

His mouth took the shape of an O. "Hermione won't be happy to hear her baby's Father..."

"Her baby's father _what?_" I challenged.

"Has a _secret_!"

I tried very hard then to keep my patience. "Crabbe..."

"Go to bed you git," Blaise said sharply. He did so without question, and I sighed.

"Why did I ever befriend him?"

"He may be in bed and pretending to sleep, but he can still hear you," Blaise commented.

"He can't hear this." Then I really flipped the bird.

"I heard that!" Crabbe screeched, as if he were having a nightmare. I drew back my middle finger slowly and shook my head from side to side. This whole conversation was pointless.

"Okay," I resigned, "I'll talk to her."

"That would be a good idea," Blaise said, like Crabbe interrupting us had never happened.

"Wish me luck?"

"Not that you need it," he said, coming out of his bed and retrieving something from his night stand. "But you will need this."

I took a small bottle from his hand, red liquid moving about, even though it hadn't been shaken. Pepper-up potion for my insane hangover. He brewed them by the batch, so he and I could never be in the post-drinking state for long.

"I owe you," I said.

"I thought you loved me?" he said, but that was his way of saying "No problem."

"She can't be that mad, can she?" I could have used a little reassurance. From what I did last night and how I had left, I had no idea if she really just didn't want to deal with it, or was burning with rage. I would only know by seeing her now, and the thought sickened me much more than I already was.

He shrugged. "She's pregnant. How mad can she be?"

That pretty much answered my question.

**xxxxxx **

I spotted her in the Great Hall sitting with Ginny and some of the other Gryffindor girls. They didn't seem to be fussing over her, like they knew we fought last night, so I was guessing she didn't tell them what happened, and I was glad.

Confident as I was as I strode up the Gryffindor table, I could feel the eyes on my back, wondering why I was there. And thinking of Hermione's reaction to me being all over her this morning when I'd just been all over her last night was almost enough to make me back out. But of course, Slytherin all the way, I didn't.

"Hey..." I said. About the only thing I had the guts to say.

She looked up from her cereal and glared at me. Ginny, formally reading a magazine, was staring at her, wondering why she didn't respond.

I chuckled uncomfortably. "N-nice weather, right?" She shook her head in disgust. "Come on Hermione... let me explain," I said softly.

"Explain what?" Ginny asked - forget that this was a two person conversation.

"Why he came home completely drunk last night and yelled at me for something I didn't know I did," Hermione said angrily. I opened my mouth to retort with something funny to make her stop looking at me like that, but something funny was probably the last thing she wanted to hear.

"You came home _drunk?_" Ginny asked, appalled.

"You don't know why!" I reasoned.

"You _yelled_ at her?"

"You - come on - ! You don't know why!" I repeated.

"You came home _drunk _and _yelled _at her?" she said, the two questions now combined. I shook my head.

"Can you leave this between me and Hermione?"

"I don't know - _can_ I, Hermione?"

She looked from Ginny to me, to Ginny and back, lingering on me for much longer. I knew what she wanted to say. _No, Ginny, you can't leave this between Draco and I. Rip him to sheds right now for all I care - just don't let him talk to me._

"Yes, you can," she bit out. "I'll talk to you later."

She shared a not-so secret look with Ginny, telling her to beat it, that she would be fine, and I looked away. From past experience, Ginny probably gave her a grudging look, pushed away her plate, gathered up her magazine and walked off, the other Gryffindor girls trailing her. I sighed when she was gone.

"Thanks."

"I didn't tell her to leave so you could be comfortable," she spat, focusing more on her breakfast than me.

"Well, thanks anyways," I said. I was trying to be nice, but it was getting harder and harder with every second.

"Where did you sleep last night?" Hermione asked, even though she probably promised herself to try not to care.

"In my old room with Blaise."

She nodded, like that was all she needed to know, when that wasn't even half of what she wanted to ask. She wanted to ask me how long I had feelings for her and why I'd hid it. I didn't even know the answer to those myself.

"Why are you being so cold?" I asked bluntly. Bluntness was the way to go with Hermione, most of the time.

"Don't I have the right to be cold?" I decided that wasn't rhetoric.

"_You _were the one who laughed in my face when I was so obviously trying to tell you how I felt last night!" I whispered angrily. My bubble had long burst. A look of confusion crossed her face, but then it was replaced with surprise.

"_You _were the one who basically told me 'never in your life, Draco,' last night when you turned me down!" I continued.

"I said you were my friend - "

"_And _you so pathetically compensated for it by calling me _that!_"

She was silent for a moment, then said, "You've got it all wrong..."

"I do? Right - or are you just trying to make me feel guilty again?"

"You should!" she said, which wasn't originally what she wanted to say. She stopped, mid-word, and then looked at me like I was stupid. "You came home drunk last night and yelled in my face!"

"I used to always come home drunk at night!"

"Yeah and on one night you became a rapist," she hissed, as if that justified why she was being so cruel. And really, it did. "It's your fault." Old words, I hadn't heard in so long.

My mouth bobbed open and shut, unable to respond to that. Hermione obviously regretted what she said, for she had clamped a hand over her mouth. I really didn't know what to say.

If I'd said something to her, something rude to hurt her feelings, I didn't know. If she cried and burst into tears right then, I didn't know either. All I knew was that I somehow stood up, walked to the Great Hall double doors, and left her. How I was able to function, I had no idea.

Maybe it was when I reached the top of the stairs that my mouth began to move. Or when I passed Blaise through the halls, ignoring his "How did it go?" that I heard myself speaking. I don't know. But for a while, the only words I could hear were: _She's right. _

Because she was.

**xxxxxx**

"Come on, you and I both know you would never touch someone like that if you were in a right state of mind," Blaise said for the millionth time.

"But I wasn't - and I _raped _her," I said sullenly.

"These are old issues, Draco! You're going to have a kid. You should be focusing on that." He threw the grass he had ripped from the ground, but they never reached me. The Great Lake, by the way I was feeling, looked completely black and heartless. I kind of wondered if I was describing myself.

"A kid born out of wedlock - concieved through force," I said.

"Shut_up,_" he said. "I thought you were over this? That you and Granger got past it a long time ago."

"We never really got past it," I mumbled, swinging my legs from the branch I was sitting on. Blaise stood below me, leaning on the tree itself.

"You looked like you got past it."

"And you look like a virgin. But are you?" I retorted. Blaise swatted my leg after that comment, but I pretended I didn't feel it.

"Dude, really, just apologize and forget about the whole thing."

"What about the way I admitted I had feelings for her? Do I just forget that happened?"

"Well, you could slam it down on the table and see what she makes of it. _Then, _you forget it happened," he suggested.

"You make it all sound so easy."

"Because it is," he insisted.

"When you rape a girl and get her pregnant, then suddenly talk of your feelings for her - that's when you can tell me that."

He shrugged, and began skipping rocks in the lake. They never really got far though, because a tentacle kept intercepting them. He cursed everytime it happened.

After that tiny fight in the Great Hall, anybody would have thought that I'd be in my room brooding. But instead, I sought out Blaise, long time best friend and counsellor, to console me on me idiocy. He was no help right now though. I guess my problems were always boring him.

"You think I'll be a good dad?" I asked quietly.

Blaise looked up, surprised I'd asked him something a little personal, then smiled. "Of course."

I dropped down from the tree and joined him in skipping rocks. "No, really. You think I'll be... I dunno, cold to it? Like my Dad was to me?"

"Only if you're an idiot," Blaise said confidently. "You know what it felt like to be ignored by your Dad. You learned your lesson. You'll be nothing like him."

"How do you know I won't break in the middle of parenting and leave Hermione all alone?"

"I don't."

"Then how come you're so confident?"

"Because you and I both know you love Hermione too much to even think of leaving her."

I paused. Dropped the rock on the grass. "Touche," I said quietly.

He smiled - he knew me too well - and put his hand over my shoulder, gripping it tightly.

"Now, I'm going to tell you what you're going to do," he said softly, as if speaking to a five year old. I gulped, listening intently. "You're going to find Hermione, and apologize till she accepts it. Even if you have to sit outside her room, speaking to a door all night, or prance around Hogwarts with _I'm sorry_ written on your chest. You'll apologize, and you'll make her accept."

I gulped. "Right."

He kept on going, like I'd never spoken. "Then, you'll explain why it hurt that she laughed at you and turned you down and all that. Then, let her explain her piece, to take out any confusion."

"Sure," I said. He stopped talking, and let go of my shoulder. "Then what?" I asked expectantly.

"The rest is up to you."

I raised a nervous eyebrow, wondering if that would be enough. "You sure about this?"

"It looks easy enough."

"Like you."

He socked me in the shoulder, but I took it bravely. I probably shouldn't have insulted him, since he was trying to make me do the right thing and playing the good role of best friend, but this was how Blaise and I worked. Crappy best friends.

"Thanks mate... I mean it."

"Don't hug me," he said, backing away just a little. I laughed.

"Why don't I give you something instead?"

"Like?" he asked. "If it's Pepper-up, I've already got a ton so..."

"You wanna be my kid's Godfather?"

He paused. Looked me up and down, as if I'd suggested a threesome. Stopped. A smile crept onto his lips, like the sun coming up in the early morning. I could tell he was fighting the urge to break out into a silly grin, but I didn't mind. He had a hard time showing his feelings, like me.

Blaise coughed. "Yeah, of course. Not like I wasn't already expecting it."

"Won't be good news to Potter and Weasley."

"Which is probably why you asked me in the first place." I grinned. He was half right. "Okay, quit wasting time you lousy git, and start apologizing to Hermione."

"No better time than now, right?"

"Right. If you come back with a shiner, I'll know I did you some good."

I chuckled and began to walk away, on the hunt for Hermione. Lots of things had to be discussed. Our feelings for each other, how it happened, why we hid it, how this might affect our kid... and most importantly - why Blaise was now it's Godfather.

She was going to be so mad at me.

**xxxxxx **

"Hermione, come _on._" I sat at the front of her bedroom door, pounding it again. "Open the door," I pleaded. Nothing answered me. "How am I supposed to be able to talk to you when you won't even face me?" I asked.

It had been half an hour, and I was still the same place where I started. I only left to take a bathroom break, but after that, it was back to begging and pleading. Hermione really knew how to make a buy get down on his knees. Half an hour... if she kept up like this, I would be here in the morning, sipping coffee.

"Give me a chance to _explain,_" I tried again. "It won't kill you!" She didn't respond. For all I knew, she could have been asleep, but I took the risk. I'd keep on trying till she woke up. "Why won't you just _answer_ me for crying out loud!"

"Maybe because I'm not there?" A door shut.

I immediately stood up, turned to face the common room hole, and saw Hermione hanging her jacket. She didn't look at me once.

"I... thought you were... inside?"

"Well, obviously, I'm not," she said, walking over to the bathroom. "Ginny, you can come out now."

Immediately, her bedroom door, the one she was supposed to be in, swung open, and Ginny came out with a smug look on her face, passing me like I was invisible.

"Why didn't you just tell me it wasn't her?" I said, with a hint of irritation.

"'Cause you came home drunk and yelled at her," the red head stated simply. I rolled my eyes.

"What were you doing in her room?"

"Looking for clothes to borrow. Didn't expect to have a ferret annoying me when I was in there though." I sighed. I only had enough room for one arguement today.

"Can you give Hermione and I some privacy?" I flicked a look at her, and she emerged from the bathroom after a flush and a rinse was heard, and I was glad she wasn't about to follow Ginny out. I wouldn't want to have this conversation in front of Ginny.

"Whatever," she said indifferently, grabbing some sweets from our bowl as she left. "Owl me later, Hermione." She threw her a cautious look which I decided to ignore so I could keep my temper. My patience was needed right now, especially with the talk I was about to have.

When Ginny shut the door behind her, Hermione looked at me, perplexed, and I stared back at her, giving her the same look.

"How long were you out there?" Hermione said finally, gesturing with her hands.

"Half an hour."

"You didn't even bother to think that I was out? Especially since my coat and shoes gone?"

"I must have missed it. Besides, I heard rummaging going on around in your room, so I just assumed."

"Oh yeah, wouldn't expect anything else from you," she muttered, walking past me, almost at her door.

"What was that supposed to mean?" I challenged, daring to anger this moody pregnant woman.

She spun around with an edge. "You. Assume things."

"Really," I said. This definitely wasn't on Blaise's schedule for me, but I decided to throw it out the window. I could hardly apologize to her when she was throwing me insults. "Care to explain why you think that?"

"Hm, let's see," Hermione said, pretending to be in thought, "You _assumed _that I was turning you down when I started laughing at you last night. You _assumed _that it was because I really did have none for you, and you _assumed _my opinion of you hadn't changed and that I was ordering you around and everything just to make you feel guilty!" She took a deep breath. "Need I say more?"

"What do you mean I _assumed?_" I asked, really confused now. "Wasn't I right?"

"No!" she exploded. "I thought _you_ had no feelings for me! I thought _you _turned me down long ago! I thought _you _wanted me to say that"

I gaped at her, definitely shocked by this piece of news. "That wasn't even it!"

"Then what was it?" she asked softly, almost in a whisper. "Why did you bring it up?"

"Because I was trying to tell you how I felt! Not so I could... hurt you or anything, but so I could confront you and have you admit it or something, 'cause I thought something was there!" I heaved heavily. "What about you? You laughed at me and - "

"I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings! I thought that was what you wanted me to do! I thought I was just your friend! I thought you knew!"

"Wait... what?"

"I don't get it!" she yelled.

"Neither do I!"

"You have feelings for me?"

"You have feelings for _me?_"

"Since when?" we both yelled in unison. I pressed the bridge of my nose for a moment, then let it go.

"You and I both thought that neither of us had feelings for each other that night? We completely misinterpreted each other?" I asked her.

"...It makes sense."

"But it still sounds so confusing," I stated. What were she and I thinking? "It explains everything though..."

"No," Hermione said quietly, while shaking her head. "It doesn't explain a thing."

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't explain why you came home drunk last night and treated me the way you did... that night..." she trailed off, as if hypnotized. I sighed.

"I'm _sorry, _I don't know what came over me - "

"_Draco,_" she said sternly, "you don't remember all of that night, but I do!" I stared at her, hoping she wouldn't describe it. But it was hopeless. "You barged in and shook me, pushed me around, tore me apart inside with everything you said!"

"I didn't mean to..."

"But you did! How am I supposed to know you won't do that again when our child is born, and things are tough? How do I know you won't be like that and hurt me again?"

"Because - "

"I mean, come on Draco, I know we're not perfect but I hated the man you were that night, and I hated the man you were yesterday night! I don't want to see him again. How do I know you won't do that to me again?"

I stood there, in stunned silence wondering what exactly to respond with. I said the first thing on my mind.

"...Because I love you, Hermione."

She looked at me, not surprised at all. "You say so... and I love you too... but I don't know how I can believe you when you say that either..." She shook her head sadly at me, and turned away fully, opening the door to her room.

"What can I do to make you believe me?" I half-whispered. She wasn't supposed to tell me she loved me too and then walk away. That wasn't how I pictured it. She shrugged at the frame of her door, and shook her head again.

"Nothing, Draco."

I looked at her thoughtfully, and I decided she was wrong.

How the idea came to me, I didn't know, but it was just there, lying dormant for a really long time, until it finally popped up out of my head. I grabbed it, and used it as my only chance to make her believe me - to have her know that I really did love her.

I kissed her.

I held her as close as I could, without her stomach interfering. She didn't respond at first, but a few seconds in, and she was kissing me back. I could hardly believe it! I tossed her had around softly in my hands, trying to make her believe the extent of how much I loved her. I pulled away.

"Do you believe me now?"

Hermione stared in wonder at my eyes, probably fighting a battle in her mind. Will she believe me, all because of one kiss? Or will she do the exact opposite and slap me in the face?

Before I could even finish the thought however, she tipped her head back towards mine, kissed me once, twice, and then we were snogging right there in front of her bedroom door. As minutes passed, I somehow stumbled through it with her, our lips still connected, a messy tangle of limbs. Once we were in, I didn't know how long till we came out. I barely had the time to open my eyes and see her nod slightly, and her lips break from mine.

"Yes. I do."

I shut the door behind us.

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Yay! Isn't that crazy? They kissed! Woohoo! Snogging all the way! Hahaha. Er. Yeah. Sorry to say though - a few more chapters to go and I'm done diddly do with this story! A sad announcement, I know, but at least you'll soon know the ending which I've definitely already plotted! Hopefully you stay tuned for it x.

Review if you read it! Thanks so much x


	18. Our Seperate Ways

Authors Notes: Today must be your lucky day! I've given you the eighteenth installment of this story! Hoorah!

**xxxxxx**

When You Lose Your Way

Our Separate Ways

**xxxxxx  
**  
We were seated beside the Great Lake, a grand picnic before us. He put his arm around me, and I smiled, letting it all sink in.

Draco and I were officially a couple, as of a few short days ago. And today, we were celebrating our get-together (Draco hated it when I referred to it as a union – we weren't getting married, as he said) with just the two of us and my bulging belly.

"I'm glad we're here," Draco said sweetly.

"Me too," I said, taking some plates out of the picnic basket. "Would you have believed we'd be together last week?"

"Never," he admitted, keeping his arm close. "Would you have believed it?"

"Um, let me think about it, no," I said humorously, without even a pause. "More bubble juice?"

"Sure," he said, holding our glasses out for us..

A few days ago, I wouldn't have believed that Draco and I would be together either. We were so on and off with fighting and confused about how we felt… but now, I was in love with him, and I told him so everyday.

The fateful night when we confronted each other so rudely and ended up snogging the rest of the evening was one I'll never forget. We yelled, argued, yelled, accused, assumed and, did I mention yell? But in the end, when our heads had shrunken a little and my bedroom door was closed, everything just fell into place.

I think it was a bigger thing to Draco and I that we had gotten together – nobody in the student body seemed to be all that surprised when they saw us in the Great Hall the next day, arm in arm, kissing each other every now and then.

"Oh, Hermione, it's about time!"

"Draco, mate, high five!"

Each comment given to us like that probably earned a roll of our eyes.

Harry and Ron's reaction surprised me most of all. They glared at the both of us in our affectionate hugs, gave Draco a very threatening look, and flicked me a "be careful," one. Then I sat down with them while Draco went to his separate table, and Ron said, "What will you be having for breakfast today, Hermione?" With a smile on his face.

Then that was that. They don't mind Draco and I, I don't think, so long as I don't go blabbing about how wonderful he is, or talk about anything that will make them want to up-chuck dinner. Although they didn't forget to mention, as always, "He breaks your heart, we break his … you know." I loved them for it.

A week has gone with us together, and I really couldn't be happier, minus the fact that I had double the Lamaze classes as my pregnancy date came closer and closer, a million exams to study, and Draco with his upcoming quidditch final and tons of practices. I had to stop attending my check-ups 'cause of this busy schedule!

But anyway, life was treating me good so far. _Real_ good.

"So how are Potter and Weasley taking the news?"

"As well as anybody would take the news that their enemy was the Godfather of my child," I said, popping a grape into my mouth. "I told them they shouldn't be angry, but I wanted them to be Godfather too!"

He only smiled at me and kissed me on the forehead, but I wasn't about to let the matter drop.

"I still can't believe you did that without my permission," I continued. "You knew perfectly well I was going to give it to - "

" – Potter and Weasley, and you still did!"

"Our child has three Godfathers!"

"The more the merrier!"

I made a face. "But, _three?_"

"Yeah, _three?_" someone yelled roughly.

Draco and I quickly parted from each other's arms and turned around, only to see Harry, Ron, Ginny and Blaise walking towards us in a crooked line. From the looks of it, they probably wrestled their way over here, excluding Ginny, who looked like she was trying very hard not to join in on the arguing.

"_I _was asked first!" Blaise said, shoving Harry in the ribs, but keeping a steady pace towards our picnic blanket.

"Ron and I deserve it!"

"You deserve this too!" Blaise made a kick for Harry's shins, but Ron shoved him in the shoulder.

"Quit it you guys," I ordered lazily. This had not been the first time they were arguing about the same matter. "You're all three God-fathers, whether you… or _I_ like it or not."

"Thanks, Malfoy," Ron grumbled, being the first to take a seat on the picnic blanket. "I hope you know who you've assigned as your kid's mentor."

"Yawn," Draco said, doing the action as well.

"I knew they'd start up with the same argument," Ginny regarded, taking a seat beside me. "Bloody fools," she muttered.

"Is there a reason you've interrupted our picnic for two?" Draco said in a not so subtle way.

"Picnic for two? Are you sure?" Blaise said. He did a head count, and grinned. "It's a picnic for six, now!"

"I'm hungry!" Ron said, looking inside the picnic basket.

"Share the food," Harry ordered, as Ron tossed him a loaf of bread.

"Pudding anybody?" Ginny said, handing out cups.

"Oi, pass me the treacle tarts!" Blaise shouted.

I shared a look with Draco, and he let out a very long sigh. "Okay, okay, everybody share the food."

I then smiled, loving the moment, no matter how frustrated I would be later that they ruined my romantic date.

"Someone pass me a bloody treacle tart!"

"We'll do this later," I mouthed to Draco, a coy smile lighting my face.

He smirked, and put his hand over the small of my back, as he fed himself some pumpkin pie.

"A bloody treacle tart, not an apple!" Blaise shouted.

"Can someone hand me an extra plate?"

"Here, Gin."

"Bubble juice, anybody?"

"I'll have pumpkin juice instead."

"Can I have a damn treacle tart for Merlin's sake?"

"Ah, this tastes wonderful."

"A treacle tart, damn it, a treacle - !"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, here!"

"_Ow!_"

"Woops… sorry, Zabini!"

I smiled and covered my ears, ready for another angry blow out.

Blaise growled. "POTTER!" And Harry stood up, already ten feet ahead.

So much for a romantic picnic for two.

**xxxxxx**

"We just got an owl," I said, walking up to Draco at the Slytherin table during late lunch. Mostly everybody was off in the courtyard or swimming around in the lake, enjoying the breath of fresh air that the month of June brought.

"From who?"

"Medi-nurse Olsen. She wants to know why we haven't gone to, hm, the last 6 check-ups?"

"Easy. Exams, quidditch, exams, lamaze, and exams."

I groaned. "Dumb exams. Dumb quidditch!"

He looked me sternly in the eye. "Dumb _what?_"

"Oh nevermind," I said, knowing Draco always took quidditch insults way too personally. "I'll just owl her back and tell her we're sorry."

"You can leave that to me - I know you want to study."

"I was going to skip studying so I could watch you practice this evening," I contradicted.

"Uh, no you're not," he said firmly. "Either you're studying or you're resting. One or the other."

"Since when did you get so strict?" I grumbled.

"Since you're due date started getting way close."

"It's in three months!"

"_Still. _You know Medi-nurse Olsen said there's a good chance of pre-mature birth since you're so _active _and even though it's nothing to worry about, I'm still making sure! Plus, I've already made an offer for a home in Hogsmeade where we could live. Doesn't this tell you how close we are to having our lives completely changed?"

"Note to Draco - they've already changed."

"I know, I know... but there'll be a new addition to the family," he said softly, grabbing me around the waist gently, "And I want things to be perfect when the baby comes out."

"I guess you're right," I admitted, feeling an ache where Draco's hands were. "Now you just need to loosen your grip on me," I chuckled.

"Woops, sorry," he said, unwrapping himself from me. "Are you up for a walk?"

"Sure thing."

As Draco got up and we reached the door of the Great Hall, Dumbledore entered at the same time and stopped right in front of us. I assumed he was here with the intention of eating, because he had food in his hands, but he smiled brightly when he saw the two of us.

"Ah, Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy!" he said. "Where are you two going?"

"Going for a walk, sir. Are we needed?"

"Oh, not really. But I'd like to speak to you for a moment if that's all right," Dumbledore said to me.

Draco shrugged and said he'd meet me outside. He smiled at Dumbledore (yes, he really did smile) and left the Great Hall.

"What is it, sir?"

"I must address the matter of graduation with you," he said, his food suddenly vanishing from his hands. He must have vanished them so he wouldn't have any distractions while talking to me.

"Yes, about that, I've organized everything – the Professors know who among them will speak and the weather will be perfect for us to hold it outside, and invitations to the students' families have already been sent out - " I momentarily lost my breath and paused. "Basically, everything is handled," I said.

"Oh, I already know everything is handled, Miss Granger – I put you in charge. This is something more important."

"Okay," I said, hoping he wasn't giving me more work. I was already swamped with it.

"As you know, this has been a very special class – we've come up with very fine students, and we are needing some representation for these fine students at the commencement ceremony."

"Yes, sir?"

"Well, Miss Granger, would you do the staff and your fellow students the honor of giving them their final words at graduation?" he asked, as if it were obvious of what he was inquiring of me.

My eyes popped out of my sockets and my mouth dropped. Dumbledore had never asked me to do something so honoring such as this. Wasn't my answer obvious?

"Are you asking me to be this years Valedictorian?"

He chuckled softly to himself. "Who else would I ask, Miss Granger?"

I beamed and could hardly contain my reply. "Yes! Yes of course I'll do it! Thank you for even considering me, sir! This is an amazing honor."

"Oh no, it is my honor Miss Granger. I'm sure you will do your classmates justice in this final speech."

"I'll do my very best, sir." I grinned and suddenly, without notice, I hugged him. My own headmaster, the man who blushed at the very thought of receiving socks for Christmas from Madame Pomfrey. I was making a spectacle of myself when he'd just asked me to make a sophisticated talk in front of my fellow students.

Way to go, Hermione.

I parted from him quickly, and as expected, he was blushing with surprise from head to toe – more from embarrassment than anything.

"You're most welcome. Remember that graduation is in two weeks. Prepare yourself well, won't you? Not to put you in any pressure, Miss Granger, but your speech should be close to fantastic – and I'm sure it will be."

My face froze, but I hid the sudden nervousness that was creeping all over me. "Y-yes, of course, sir."

"Take care of yourself, Miss Granger," he said, giving my belly a wink. "Your child is definitely coming along." And he walked away, leaving me alone in the Great Hall.

The sudden importance of this speech hit me like a fatal wave. I had to talk in front of parents, students, Professors, and creatures who would come to visit to watch us all graduate. Oh holy, Merlin. And I had to come up with something in two weeks! How would I do this? I had to stop myself from giving Dumbledore's back a rude gesture, all because of his late notice.

Make a heart-felt, amazing, fantastic, and perfect speech in two week and handle a pregnancy close to its due date? Sound impossible? Well, yes, it is.

**xxxxxx**

There was often a sound I would hear coming from somewhere around the common room but I couldn't make out the words. I was much too busy thinking about what I would put on the empty piece of paper in front of me. I let one week pass, and I still had nothing. Literally, I'd wasted dozens and dozens of parchments with scribbled and crossed out words. I'd filled up the fireplace with burning papers and even though I'd thought of tons of things to put, I couldn't make anything out of it.

"...And so Pansy said, 'Weaselette, how many boys have you dated this year? 50? 60?' So I turn around and say..." I felt someone poke me. "Hermione? Hermione? Um, Earth to preggers?"

"Huh? Oh, what were you saying?"

"I was just talking about my great comeback to the Slytherin Princess Bitch but I guess it isn't important," Ginny said, a little disappointed in my lack of listening skills.

"No, no, no, I was listening. Sorry. So what did you say?" I asked, urging her to continue. Ginny looked at me steadily before continuing, a smirk plastered on her face again.

I could have been over-reacting, after all, I'm three months away from my due date, and worry is common for pregant women! I'm also hormonal and emotional, so everything that happens to me isn't always something I should be nervous about – but I was! And I had no idea what to do.

Draco , Harry and Ron were more than proud of me when I told them the news – they said I would do great, and that there was no way I would do a bad job but I didn't believe a single word they said – I had to write an almost fantastic speech – I couldn't even come up with almost written.

"...And then snakes filled the room and I screamed, '_Oh, someone help!'_ But nobody came, and sooner than we knew it there was a tornado!"

"What happened next?" I said, absent mindedly.

"An eagle came and flew into the room, and started pecking at the snakes, and then dozens of mosquitoes swarmed the room from the open window. Someone forgot to close it!"

"Interesting," I said, hardly paying attention.

"Then suddenly everything cleared the room except for one tiny little frog that could kill you with it's poisonous tongue and – oh no, Hermione - did your water just break!?"

"_What!_" I screeched, jumping up from my seat, and patting at my legs. Odd. I felt no liquid.

Ginny chuckled a little. "I'm kidding, Hermione."

I stopped and glared at her, hardly thinking the joke was funny. "That wasn't nice, Ginny."

"Well you weren't listening to a word I was saying, so I thought I would say a few things so I could get your attention."

"Sorry," I said, rubbing at my eyes and taking my seat again. "There's been a lot of stuff on my mind."

"Like what? The pregnancy?"

"Yeah... it's getting really close," I said half-heartedly. That wasn't all of it.

"What else?" Ginny said instinctively.

"Well, Draco made an offer for a nice little house in Hogsmeade for us to live in. I'm worried we won't get it," I somewhat lied.

"With his money? Hermione, Draco's so confident you two will get it that he's already begun decorating the babys room! Come on, what is it, really?"

I bit my lip and wondered whether or not to tell her. And then I figured she was probably the best person to tell since she wouldn't freak out like Harry and Ron or leave me alone for peace and quiet like Draco. I inhaled a deep breath and launched into the whole reason as to why I was nervous.

She listened intently, glaring and guffawing every now and then when I mentioned that I was _actually _dreading graduation. Then her eyes went stony when I mentioned that I would do a terrible job.

"Do you really think that?" she inquired.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "But I can't even come up with two words, so doesn't that tells me something."

"You're just _too_ nervous, Hermione."

"Are you kidding?," I asked. "I have one week left to make an incredible speech! I have double lamaze classes, exams, and just my pregnancy to deal with! I'm going to be a freaking Mother very soon! I'm a nervous wreck! How am I going to pull this off, Gin? Tell me how, 'cause I got nothing!"

"All of this coming from the girl who took on double the classes in her third year, and passed with flying colours?"

"I was lucky."

"No, Hermione, you're good."

"You're just saying that so I won't be freaked out about all of this."

"That and because it's true. Hermione, you're going to do great on your exams, you know it. You've studied more than Merlin himself in this month alone! And if you're so swamped with Lamaze classes, why don't you just drop them? You would deliver your baby yourself if you could! And You will be an _amazing _Mother to your child. It's preposterous how you could even doubt that. And for Merlin's sake, you _know _what you want to say to the student body at commencement, but you just can't put everything you feel into words! All you need to do is calm down enough for one second to write down one word."

I gave her a face. "You mean all of that?" I was surprised at how easy she made it all seem. Maybe, just maybe I could really pull this off.

"Hell yes I do."

"Well... thanks, Gin. I needed to hear it."

"No - you needed to hear it from _me,_" she smiled. "Admit it, preggers. You needed a pep talk from yours truly."

I gave her a grudging look and shrugged. "Yeah, yeah, sure. Now are you going to help me come up with this speech or not?"

"Not," she said, smirking and standing up to pack her bags.

"Wait - what?" I asked, watching her walk to the common room hole to leave.

"This is something you have to do on your own," she yelled, without even facing me. "Maybe you'll have better luck with Draco!" I glared at her and crossed my arms.

"Will you be like this when I'm in labour?" I grumbled, taking out a new piece of parchment, preparing myself to write.

"You bet," I heard her say. But I knew she was kidding, because she turned around to smile at me. "You can do it, Hermione," Ginny said. "It's in the bag." And very suddenly, when I began writing the first few words, I believed her.

"Draco, listen to this," I said, walking around our living room and holding up a piece of parchment paper in front of me. It was at least two pages long, and graduation was in two days. I didn't quite finish it, but at least I had something.

He groaned. "Not again, Hermione! I've heard it a thousand times - so many times I could probably say it for you." Draco was on the couch, reading up on his Potions for his exam tomorrow. I'd given up studying altogether just for this speech.

"Don't you want me to do a good job?" I pouted, while tilting my head.

He sighed. "All right, let's hear it."

"Thank you!" I squealed, my face clearly lighting up. I breathed in and began slowly.

"Welcome all students, Professors and visitors that have gathered on this sunny day to celebrate the commencement of this years graduating class."

Draco pretended to clap, but I ignored him.

"We've all been waiting so long for this day, and I'm quite sure none of us expected it to come so quickly. All this hard work and fun will be nothing but memories, and I can't say that I won't miss a single thing about this haven we've created - because I will."

"Nice," Draco murmured, for I'd just added that in.

"This is my home - our home - and even though we leave it today, possibly forever, it will always be in our hearts." I paused to take a deep breath and to stop my shaking – I was literally shaking with nervousness in front of my own boyfriend. How could I really do this on front of hundreds of strangers?

"It's okay, keep going," Draco urged.

"I can't," I said. "Everybody will laugh at me if I stumble."

"They won't," he stated, waiting patiently for me to continue. He went quiet for a moment, while he watched me mentally processing my speech. "Is that what you're really scared of?" Draco said suddenly.

I looked up, not having heard him. "What?"

"Is that what you're really scared of? Messing up with your words and having them laugh at you?"

"What else would I be scared of?" I asked, with a hint of sarcasm.

"Well… the whole place is going to see your stomach."

I gave him an angry look and raised the hand holding my speech, about to hit him. Draco held up his hands and said, "That's not what I meant!"

I lowered my hand. "What did you mean, then?"

He shrugged. "Are you scared people will laugh at you for being pregnant…?"

My mouth gaped, surprised he would even think that. "You think I'm going to be ashamed of the fact that I'm pregnant?"

Draco shrugged again. "I dunno. Are you?"

I was about to say "no." I really was. But then it hit me that hundreds of people would see that I was a pregnant girl still in high school – once I stepped up there on the stage in my maternity graduation outfit, what would they say? Or more importantly, what would they do? Laugh at me, like Draco thought?

"You think they're going to laugh at me?" I asked him quietly.

"No, no, no!" He said, standing up to hug me. But I took a step back.

"Come on, Hermione, I was just asking – it wasn't supposed to be an insult, or something to make you even more worried."

"Well it did. Thanks."

"Hermione," he said clearly. I looked at him with a blank face, and then at my speech.

"Excuse me, I have to work on this." I went over to the kitchen counter and put the parchments down and re-read what I had over and over. Draco sighed and from the corner of my eye, I saw him settle down on the couch to continue with his Potions studying. Then there was a pecking at the window.

"Owl," Draco said.

"Well, I'm not going to get that," I said, stating it in a purposefully rude way, so he knew that I was angry. I watched Draco open up our window and retrieve a letter from the impatient owl, which took off right away, without a snack. His lips cracked into a smile after reading the note, and I couldn't help but wonder why.

"Hermione," Draco said, closing the window, and holding up the parchment. There was a twinkle in his eye.

"What?"

"The house."

My heart skipped a beat. "What did the realtor say?"

"It's ours," he said, holding up the parchment as proof. My eyes widened and I smiled like a little girl. "Really? Our baby has a home? _We _have a home?"

"We have a home!" he exclaimed, clutching the paper in his one hand.

I screamed and dropped my speech - that was something I'd worry about later, even though I had to finish it soon - Draco, my baby and I finally had a home we would live in, and I was ecstatic. He rushed towards me and hugged me as best he could, without my stomach interfering.

"I can't believe it!" I said, breathless, like I had the wind knocked out of me. I had complrely forgotten about the fact that I was angry at him for making me even more nervous than I already was and suggesting that I might be shamed of my pregnancy, but who cared? I had a house to live in with my family!

"We have a home," he said softly. I nodded.

"And it's with you."

Draco kissed me gently and I let the calm envelope me, forgetting momentarily about everything that was bothering me - I had a safe haven with the man I loved, and the man I loved was kissing me. I couldn't possible stay angry at him after this. What was I supposed to do?

I started off with closing the curtains.

**xxxxxx**

"Hello, fellow students, Professors and visitors..."

"Don't be nervous."

"We've all been waiting so long for this day..."

"Stop shaking!"

"This is my home - our home..."

"Hermione, you'll do fine!"

Draco stood in front of me at the Gryffindor table at breakfast, not having the stomach watch me be so nervous. Heck, even I didn't have the stomach to see me so nervous.

"I only finished it last night, Draco - I've barely rehearsed! What am I supposed to do?"

"Your best," he said, holding my shoulders. "You'll do fine."

"Yeah, Hermione, it'll be okay," Harry said, joining the both of us, with Ron right behind him.

"You have this morning to practice, Hermione!" Draco encouraged.

"And it's still a while before the actual ceremony - we still have to dress up and everything, so that gives you some time," Ron added

"Is she _still _nervous?" Ginny asked, when she heard us talking.

"No, just... a little unprepared."

"A little?" I shrieked. "I might hyperventilate in the next few seconds," I warned.

"No hyperventilating, Hermione!" Draco said, tightening his grip on my shoulders. "Not good for the baby."

"Am I insane? Why did I accept this from Dumbledore? Why, oh why?"

"These are just the jitters, Hermione, that's all."

"Then they're the worst jitters ever! My stomach is not a playpen for butterflies or babies for goodness sake!"

They all gave me patient looks and I only felt more guilty that I needed all my friends to give me support. Why couldn't I do this on my own? Did I always need some sort of help to get me through things? The pregnancy? This? Everything was just so chaotic, I didn't know what to do - I hated it when I didn't have full control of situations.

"Just have something to eat. The energy would be good for you," Draco pushed my pumpkin juice towards me but I only stared at it with disgust and shoved it away. He gave him a very hard look, and I gave in, downing it all in one gulp.

"Look on the bright side, Hermione! You got the house," Ginny said, patting me on the back. "So what if you have to give a speech to hundreds of people tonight? At least you have somewhere to go and cry if you suck."

I gave her a teary eyed look and Draco glared at her. "Yeah, she's right, but you won't suck."

"Says you!" I shrieked, my eyes becoming blurry.

Everybody sighed and I began to rant and rant about how tonight would be terrible.

"It's graduation, Hermione," Ron said, "lighten up."

I looked around at all of them, and sighed. "Sorry, guys."

"It's okay," Draco said, sitting beside me, and holding my hand. "Now come on, so we can go get ready."

"All right. Which first, Ginny, make-up or dress?"

"Leave that to me," shesaid, taking me away from Draco and leading me out. I saw her throw a look back at the gang with relief in her eyes and I could tell they were happy about me getting distracted.

"If only they had pills to calm down mood swings of pregnant women," Ginny said.

"If only," I agreed.  
**  
xxxxxx**

"Ugh..." I groaned. My stomach began to rumble and just descending the steps of the castle and walking to the grassy area where our graduation was going to be held was already becomign a challenge for me. There was no way I could talk in front of hundres if I couldn't walk in front of one person.

In front of me there were two columns of seats, and in the middle, a large aisle. A simple stadium, basically. I would be walking down that aisle soon, to say my speech, and suddenly it got longer and longer. Visitors filled the first few rows of seats on either side, and the teachers were already seated up on the stage at the front. I swallowed hard.

"It's okay, Hermione, don't be nervous," Ginny said, patting me on the back. She finished with my hair and make-up a few hours ago, and was now leading me up to the line where my classmates and I would come walking up in pairs, and taking seats in our rows. I, however, would be seated up on the platform with the teachers and other speakers.

My black robe with the Hogwarts crest on the left, was beautiful in the sun. All the boys were painfully handsome, and I literally had to look away from Draco when I saw him in his gown, for I really would have ravaged him right there. When he saw me earlier, he really couldn't even say anything. He was speechless.

"All right. Good luck, Hermione," Ginny said, after I'd taken my place beside Henry Gallagher in the two person line-up.

"Thanks so much, Gin."

"Do you have your speech with you?"

"Yes, I wouldn't forget. If you see Draco, Harry or Ron in the line back there, tell them I love them!"

"Sure," she said. Ginny sighed and tilted her head. "I'm really proud of you, Hermione. After all that's happened this year, I still knew you would make it up onto that platform."

"I couldn't have done anything without you," I told her. And we hugged, like all best friends hug, with watery eyes. I was going to leave her here next year - and my first home with her. I was feeling sadder by the second.

"If everybody is present, I ask that all visitors take their seats and stand when the graduates begin their walk," McGonagall said into the microphone. I exhaled deeply.

Music came from somewhere, and suddenly the top of the line began to move forward. The person behind me pushed me forward because I hadn't even moved my feet, and reluctantly, I began my own walk. I smiled at the people in their seats, and was happy to see my other Hogwarts friends waving. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

Once I seperated from the class and reached my seat at on the platform stage, I really could have cried. I was so nervous and so sad, I didn't know what I could do. I looked around the stadium and saw that all the seats were full. Wow. Big crowd. My stomach rumbled with nervousness.

"Are you all right, Miss Granger?" Professor Vector asked me, when I made a face.

"Yes, Professor, I'm quite well." She smiled and faced the front.

"Welcome all distinguished guests at Hogwarts here today," Dumbledore said into the microphone. He could do it so well - talk in front of people. But that was easy, everybody liked Dumbledore, and if he messed up they'd applaud, just 'cause he was that cool. But me? They would laugh at me for being fat, and pregnant, and only just graduating from high school. They would ridicule me.

"I have been here for many years, and I've never seen such an amazing group of students before me. It makes me sad to watch them go today, but like all things, they must go their own ways, and part with us - with me. I shall miss them," he said. I looked into the crowd, and a few girls had even begun to let some tears silently stream. I felt my eyes welling but I didn't know if it was out of nervousness or sadness anymore.

I was being ridiculous. It occurred to me now that I wasn't really afraid of going up there and talking to people - I could do that in my sleep - I was scared of showing the world outside of Hogwarts what I was, what had happened to me - that I was pregnant. Draco was right to ask me about it. I didn't know how much I cared about what they thought of me.

Dumbledore called up McGonagall was just standing up to give her speech. A few more, and then it would get to the handing out of the diplomas, and then my speech. I smiled. Maybe I wasn't so nervous after all.

"...And it is with great honor that I hand out the diplomas of Hogwarts graduating class," McGonagall said. I looked up suddenly, and the first row of students had stood up to receive them, and were getting up onto the stage.

"Hannah Abott," she announced. Dumbledore gave her her diploma and a hearty shake of the hand. She passed by my seat and smiled, and I returned it.

I watched each student go up and they were going by so quickly. Was it my turn? Did she say my name?

"Hermione Granger," McGonagall said, and I stood up with great difficulty. Dumbledore handed me my diploma and gave me a deep look of pride. I nodded and took my seat once more. The crowd errupted in cheers when my name was called, and I saw that Draco was leading it. Who was I kidding? These people never would have judged me - they loved me, and I loved them - I could do this speech!

"Draco Malfoy," she stated, and I clapped as hard as I could, whooping with the crowd.

My boyfriend came up onto the stage, took the diploma from Dumbledore and went straight to me. I grinned. He kissed me full on the lips, and the crowd cheered. He walked off the stage and took his seat again, and smiled at me.

Heck, this speech I had to do was a piece of cake - I could dance naked in front of the crowd for all I cared! Draco had the guts to come up here and snog me right in front of parents and visitors - I could say a few simple words if he could do that.

"Harry Potter."

I yelled as hard as I possibly could and hugged Harry when he came by me on his way down the stage. He winked and left, and all the support I was getting while up there only made me more confident.

"Ronald Weasley."

He came up onto the stage with pink ears and a cute smile. My best friend. He waved at me on the way down and almost fell because he was looking at me, but he made it without hurting himself, and I laughed. Half of me thought he did that just so I could laugh.

"Zabini, Blaise," she said. I knew this was the last one and that I was up next to speak.

Blaise winked at me on his way down and I sneered at him with amusement. He took his seat, and suddenly, the whole stadium was quiet.

"And now, to give the graduating class their final words before parting with us, their Valedictorian, Hermione Granger."

The whole place erupted in my cheers, and dizziness overcame me. The noise was so loud, I wish I'd brought up earplugs.

I stumbled up to the podium and reached into my pocket for my speech. My face blanked.

Nothing was there.

My hand searched around frantically in both pockets for the speech I had written down but nothing was in either of them. I must have forgotten it in all my haste, but I could have sworn I brought it. I looked into the crowd in complete panic, and found Draco. He was waiting for me to say what I had practiced in front of him, and he was so proud to see me up here.

"Go on," he mouthed to me, among the hundreds of faces I saw. I sighed. Okay. I could do this.

"Welcome all students, visitors and Professors who have come here today to join my fellow classamtes and I in celebrating our take-off," I said. I didn't memorize my speech, so basically, I was winging this.

"I've been waiting a very long time for this day... to get up here and talk to you all. And now I can. But I don't know what to say," I admitted, placing my hands on either end of the podium. "Everything I want to say to you, everything I need to say to you, you already know."

The students looked around at each other in confusion, but I continued. "You know, that I will miss you all. You know, that this is my home - our home - our Heaven on Earth. You know, that no matter how long we will be apart from this day on, we will remember each other forever. And you know that I love you all," I said.

"But what you may not know is that... well... okay, I hate to talk about myself and everything," some people laughed and I continued, "but, some of you might not know that I'm scared as - well, really scared of becoming a Mother." Their laughs were silent and some were stunned that I'd shared something so personal.

"As many of you already know, I'm pregnant. It's been really hard, like most of you know, taking care of myself and the child inside of me, but it's also been really fun. Amazing really. But when my baby comes out, what am I going to do? Nothing will ever be the same. Nothing _has _been the same since I got the news."

"Well, now we all share in my experience. Once we leave here, we're going to become something we've always been scared of being - adults. We've grown up. We've shared heartache and hardships. But now we go into the world with experiences to help us overcome the obstacles in our future. We're not babies anymore," I said. The crowd was utterly silent.

My stomach rumbled with pain and excitement at the same time and I gripped the edge of the podium. "Fellow students - distinguished classmates - my friends. It's time for us to leave this home that we've created for ourselves and release ourselves upon the world."

Angry pain lashed out inside my abdomen and I caught my breath. The audience heard my ragged breathing, and some started muttering, but I continued nonetheless.

"We are no longer children - we're adults. Can you believe it?" I asked them. A few shook their heads. Some were already crying. "Me neighter."

"And before we throw our hats and celebrate our graduation, I have one final thing to say." I held my breath and breathed deeply. Not to prepare myself for the final words, but to hide the pain I was feeling.

"I'm proud of you all. I'm so happy to see us all here together, as one school, not seperate houses. I'm sad to see us leave, but I know it won't be long, because I'll keep each and every one of you in my heart. I'm sure you all will too. And I'm going to miss you all. Congratulations, friends. We - we - "

I paused. I was going to say, "We made it," but I felt the most pain I'd felt during the speech and I slumped over the podium in pain. The audience began murmuring amongst themselves, and suddenly, I felt liquid leave my legs. I gasped and looked up.

"Um," I said into the microphone. "I'm okay, don't worry," I said to them all. "I was going to end my speech, really I was, but - " I was seized with pain again. "But my water just broke and - "

Everybody stood up in surprise. Draco was the first. Parents were muttering and teachers were already moving around behind me. They were lucky I didn't pass out from all the pandemonium that I knew was about to begin.

"And what?" some people from the crowd yelled urgently, as if there was something even more important I had to say.

I shut my eyes. "And I think I'm about to have my baby."

-

-

-

To be continued...

A/N: Dun, dun, dunnnn! Wow, I really hope that wasn't rushed. Feels firey hot flames coming my way in the form of reviews Okay, okay, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I promise I'll make the last chapter (yes, the next chapter is the last) a great one! Please don't be mad! And hey, you can find out the gender in the next chapter! Woohoo! You can't be THAT mad at me anymore, can you? Hehe.

Review if you read it! Much lave-o!


	19. I Will Follow

Authors Notes: Aw, guys, I'm gonna miss this story. Hopefully you enjoy what's left. And I'm glad some of you noticed where I got my inspiration last chapter, eheheh. Can someone say, James Lucas Scott? I sure can!

**xxxxxx**

**When You Lose Your Way  
**  
I Will Follow

**xxxxxx**

"Draco, I'm okay..." 

"Hurry, it could come out any minute!"

"For Merlin's sake I've only been in labour for a few minutes!"

"She's in pain, people, she's in pain, someone hurry up and get her to the hospital wing!"

"Oh for crying out loud, Draco there's only the three of us here!"

I couldn't believe it. I really just couldn't believe it. Hermione, _my _Hermione, is at this very moment, in labour, and about to give birth to our child. Talk about timing! Graduation was cut short 'cause of this little interruption, and now all of the school is waiting in anticipation for the birth. Not to put any pressure on my girlfriend but hundreds of people really wanted to see the baby soon to come out of her, and I don't think they want her to take her precious time.

"Draco, slow down, I'm popping out of the seat," Hermione ordered, as I wheeled her faster and faster on the wheelchair they'd placed her on. I didn't realize how hard it actually was going down the hill to Hogwarts and to the hospital wing. It was very bumpy, and if Hermione wasn't grasping onto the arm rests for her life, she may have fallen out by now. I slowed down, hoping to decrease the risk, and Hermione calmed.

"Hey Genius, why don't you just levitate her?" Harry questioned, as he jogged from behind us. I ignored him and kept on going.

"I'm fine," Hermione said to him. "Where are Ron and Ginny?"

"Trying to calm down the whole school."

"I've completely wrecked graduation," she groaned, while rubbing her forehead. I spotted the hospital wing a few feet away and was thankful. Hermione had gotten a lot heavier since the starting of her pregnancy and I couldn't go any further.

"You haven't wrecked a thing," I said, about to reach the hospital doors. "You've made everything much more exciting." I kneeled down to kiss her, but she took my chin and held it tight.

"You'll stay with me, won't you?" she asked. This was the first time I heard feart in her voice, and it scared me.

"I'll stay with you," I promised. "Harry will take care of you for the moment, though, okay? I just need a moment..."

"_You _need the moment?" Hermione asked. "I'm in immense pain! You might think the lady in labour should be the one to have a few minutes to herself!"

"Hermione," I said.

She tilted her head. "Oh, by all means, take all the time you need. You're not the one about to endure endless hours of pain."

"I'll be right back," I said. I kissed her quickly and left her at the doors of the hospital wing. I turned around, but Harry grabbed my shoulder, and grasped it tightly.

"I know Hermione will be okay," he muttered, "and so will you."

My neck instinctively popped my head backwards. I didn't hear this often from Potter. "Thanks," I said. Then I was gone.

I made sure the two had entered the hospital wing before I began to hyperventilate. I was going to be a Dad. Hermione and I would be having a baby in the next couple of hours and I was hardly prepared for the fright that was overcoming me. A glob of vomit was preparing to exit out of my mouth.

From the distance, I could hear commotion from the people who were at the graduation. They had high hopes for Hermione and I - that she would give birth and I'd take care of the family, and become the good Father they knew I could be. I felt sicker and sicker by the second.

"Malfoy?" I heard from behind me.

I gave a queasy look to Weasley, who was trotting down the hill with his sister. Nodding, I tried keeping my mouth shut, which made it terribly hard to hyperventilate only through my nose.

"You look like you're going to die," Ginny said off-handedly, while looking beyond me to the hospital doors. "Is Hermione in there already?" I nodded again. My stomach churned and it hurt that I was holding it in. "Are you okay?" Ginny asked me with concern this time.

I didn't answer her, and only looked away. Not because I didn't want to admit I was scared, but because I might puke on her if I did. Weasley took the reins in the conversation and patted me on the back. I gagged more and more each time I felt his hand come down on me.

"It's going to be okay, Malfoy," Ron said. I would have been thankful for his words of comfort had he not been torturing me with holding in my vomit. "I get that your scared. I'm scared too. But we need to get inside those hospital doors and be there for Hermione. She needs all the support she can get. Are you coming with me?"

I sort of smiled at this, and nodded. It was pretty consoling, to know that he was just as nervous and scared as me. "Now let's go," Weasley said.

I turned around to follow him, but I bumped into his broad shoulders. I couldn't contain it. I blew chunks on his shirt, and Ginny squealed.

The rancid smell of vomit filled the air around us. I shrugged feebly and wiped the corners of my mouth with my sleeve.

"Um," I said, to the red headed boy with an angry flush the shade of a tomato creeping upon his cheeks, "I'm ready?"

He growled and pulled me by the collar, towards the hospital. "You're cleaning this," he muttered. Ginny followed right after us, and without my knowing, I was thrust into the hospital doors.

At least I didn't faint, right?

**xxxxxx**

Hermione groaned with boredom. My head slumped to the side, and I groaned too, only more out of impatience.

"Why is this taking so long!" Hermione complained. I held tightly onto her hand and tried to cheer her up.

"At least you only have one more centimetre left to go," I said.

"That could take another hour!" I sighed. That was true.

"This takes time," I reminded her. She scoffed and looked up at the ceiling.

Hermione was lying down, legs open, on a hospital bed, in a room only for us, and I was in a chair right next to her, holding her hand tightly. Medi-nurse Olsen visited us every now and then to measure her, but not enough to convince us that we had a short time left in here before Hermione could deliver the baby. I groaned again and smacked my forehead with my hands.

All along, I was expecting a busy, rush hour birth, with doctors running around, and me holding the hand of my screaming girlfriend - everything typical about labour. But Hermione and I had been sitting here for three hours, almost four, and nothing happened. Her uterus still wasn't big enough for the baby to come out, and out of the ten centimetres we needed to get into the delivery room, we only barely had nine.

"Who made up the stupid rule that a uterus had to be ten centimetres before a baby could come out, anyways?" Hermione yelled. "Did the genius ever think to consider the woman lying in agony on a hospital bed for hours before stating this fact?"

"Be patient," I said to her. "Our baby just doesn't want to leave you."

She gave me an impatient look and - yes - flicked me.

"Ow," I said, rubbing the spot on my head where I was hit. "What was that for?"

"For trying to be nice to me even though it's not working!"

"And I deserve to be flicked for that?" I challenged.

She crossed her arms and looked away. My head drooped forwards, and I contemplated sleeping.

Very suddenly, Hermione gasped with pain and she growled, trying not to scream or something. Instinctively, her hand squeezed mine very tightly, and it hurt like hell. She writhed in the bed, and I felt bad that she had to endure more pain later on. After a few more seconds, though, the grip decreased, and she was calm again.

"Contraction, again?"

"Obviously," she said grumpily, finding a more comfortable position on the bed. "I hate them. Merlin, I can't wait till this whole ordeal is over and the thing finally pops out!" This last part was screamed.

I shrugged and moved the hair out of her sweaty face. "You're strong enough to make it to the end," I soothed. "You'll be all right."

She tried her best to smile at me. "Well, honestly... I'm actually going to miss having a lump in my stomach - taking care of it and all."

I nodded. "I know. Me too."

Hermione took a deep breath and cocked her head. "But, you know, it'll be great once it's born - we'll have a kid. That's always nice."

I laughed. "Yeah. We'll teach it everything we know. How to read, like you; play quidditch like me. And the baby will be ours."

"Yeah," she said wistfully. I caressed her hand softly and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll try my hardest to be the best Father I can be," I promised her.

"Just be the same man you've been to me throughout this whole thing. Caring, loving, understanding and tolerant... and you'll be fine."

"I promise not to be the other man I was before all of this."

Hermione nodded vigorously. "I hope not. You were the man that hurt me before; you're the man who healed me, now."

My mouth tightened, and that comment right there made my heart swell into large proportions. "I love you," I breathed.

She gave me a real smile this time and stretched out her hand, to comb my hair and hold tightly onto my neck, so I was still very close to her. Hermione sighed, and we both breathed in and out, knowing that very soon, our long awaited child was going to come, and that we would both be okay. Somehow, it was what we both knew.

"I'm sorry I flicked you," she said quietly. I laughed.

"I'm sorry that this is only going to hurt more later."

The smile disappeared quickly from her face, and she pushed me away roughly, so I was thrust back onto my chair. "Wow, comforting. Thanks."

I scoffed, not being able to believe her mood swings. Even now, when the pregnancy was almost over, she still had them. I was looking forward to the normal Hermione after this was all done. I rolled my eyes and lay back down, but still living the moment we just had. I gave her a patient look, and she gave me a distant smile. I sighed.

We waited some more, me still holding her hand, and even tried to sleep. I thought that if she was in slumber during the contractions, they wouldn't hurt her as much, but Hermione couldn't sleep a wink, and neither could I, what with all the hand squeezing. Medi-nurse Olsen came in every now and then, as always, but she continued to shake her head and say, "It needs more time." I was literally about to give up on the whole thing once we were almost upon the end of our fourth hour in here.

"Back," Medi-nurse Olsen said. There was no change in her voice.

"It's your billionth time here," I said weakly. "Please tell me Hermione is ready for the delivery room?"

She held up a finger, telling me to wait, while she measured Hermione. Hermione barely payed attention, as she stared aimlessly at the ceiling.

"Any changes?" I asked.

"Well, well," Medi-nurse Olsen said, as she began writing things down on a clipboard. "Looks like I made you wait too long," she chuckled.

I glared evil daggers at her. "What does that mean? Those final moments of waiting were an absolute waste?"

Medi-nurse Olsen gave me a clear look. "It means Hermione is eleven centimetres."

Hermione's eye balls shot out of her sockets, and she gripped the medal supports on the side of her bed. "W-What?"

I blanched. "She's - she's what?"

Medi-nurse Olsen gave us a knowing smile, and my mind reeled.

"Oh dear Merlin! Oh Mother of Merlin! Holy grail! Holy Merlin! Holy sh - !"

"I can't believe it!" Hermione shrieked.

"Miss Granger, you're ready to give birth."

"I'm trying!" Hermione screamed, as she held tightly onto my hand.

"Come on, Hermione, you're almost there, you're almost there..."

"I - I..." Hermione trailed off weakly and thrust her head backwards in agony. "I can't," she said, tears welling in the side of her eyes.

"Come on, Hermione, you can do it," I said, wanting to see the baby so bad. "You can do this!"

"It hurts," she said, her voice cracking in the middle. She began panting and panting, her screams never ceasing to fill the air in the room. "It hurts," she repeated.

"I can almost see it," Medi-nurse Olsen said, who happened to be a mid-wife as well as a doctor.

"Really?" Hermione asked hopefully, but not before she yelled in pain.

"Yes, but you have a long way to go," she said. Hermione's groans tore my heart in half, but I had to encourage her to continue, no matter how much pain she was in.

"Hermione, do you remember the time when you slapped me in the third year?"

She gave me an unbelieving look. "And you're talking about this now, because?" Her last syllable was screeched.

"Do you remember how angry you were at me?"

"Yes!" she panted.

"And do you remember how brave you were to actually do something that painful?"

Hermione rolled her eyes in her pain. "Nice analogy, love, but the pain was on you not me!"

"That doesn't make a difference!" I said, even though it really did. "You were brave enough! Now be that same young and brave girl you were then, so you can get through this!"

She sobbed and pushed harder. "Push harder, Hermione, that's not good enough," Medi-nurse Olsen prompted. Hermione wimpered and pushed some more, her face turning red from all the pain and pumping she was doing.

"I see it!" Medi-nurse Olsen said after a few agonizing minutes. "That's the head! Oh, yes, there it is! The beautiful baby..."

I gasped and let go of Hermione momentarily. "Where is it? Where's my baby?" I went to where Medi-nurse Olsen was operating, took a look, and almost fainted. Instead, I backed away and banged my head on some equipment.

"Oh my goodness!" I said. "That was disgusting!" I rubbed my injured head very roughly.

"That, my friend, was your child," Medi-nurse Olsen said. I took my place beside Hermione once again and she looked at me hopefully.

"Was it beautiful? Like what we imagined?" I put on a good face and nodded, but then turned away quickly and shook my head. Medi-nurse Olsen scolded me with her eyes.

"Here it comes!"

Hermione screamed. "I have a head!" I gripped her hand tighter, and she pumped some more. "I have shoulders! Healthy hands, fingers, a stomach..."

I waited for the final moment, and Hermione gave it her all. A baby's crying filled the room. "He's here!"

A heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders as I spotted the bloody mess in the arms of Medi-nurse Olsen. I couldn't believe it.

"He's a boy," Medi-nurse Olsen cheered, coming over and showing us our son.

"Baby boy," Hermione said, touching his face with her two fingers. My eyes welled like a baby, which is pretty ironic, and I brushed my hand over his cheek, just like I did with Hermione.

"Baby boy," I repeated. "Welcome to the wizarding world."

Hermione couldn't take her eyes off of him. "Don't you still owe me five galleons?" she asked, referring to the bet we made; I bet that we were going to have a girl. I had a feeling in my heart that it was going to be one though, and Hermione knew this, but I can't say I'm disappointed to see this baby boy in front of me.

I only laughed and said, "I truly thought we were going to have a girl."

"Maybe next time," Hermione said. I nodded, and watched Medi-nurse Olsen pass our new born son to a helper, to clean him off and cut off his umbilical cord.

"Okay, no time for rest," she said, taking her seat in front of Hermione again. "We need to get that other one out."

My eyebrows connected. "What do you mean?"

Hermione screamed in pain. "What the _hell? _I thought we were through with this whole labour thing!"

Medi-nurse Olsen looked confused. "I thought you knew."

"Knew what?" I demanded. Hermione's eyes popped out of her eyes.

"No... we can't have... we only saw - " she gripped my hand and she stifled a shriek.

"Didn't you read the file completely?"

"Why?" I complained, wondering what was going on. "Medi-nurse Olsen, Hermione already gave birth to our son! What more is there for her to do?"

"You really didn't know?" she asked, bewildered. "You were supposed to read the file completely. There were _two_ pages."

"Two pages of what?" I almost yelled.

"Don't you remember when you and Hermione came back to my office to find out the gender of your baby? Didn't you flip the page after reading the first page of information on your _son? _Didn't you see that the next page indicated you were going to have another baby? More specifically - a _girl?_"

My eyes rolled upwards, and I lost my balance and fell flat on my ass.

Hermione gasped. "Draco!"

Once I hit the floor, I quickly recovered, the pain shooting through my back and head. "I'm okay," I moaned, while rubbing my bum. I got up gingerly and groaned about the pain.

"I can't believe you fainted!" Hermione said.

"Hey! You can't imagine how much that hurt right there." She glared at me. Wrong thing to say I suppose.

"Hermione! Draco! Pay attention!" Medi-nurse Olsen cut in quickly. She kept on talking.

You know, it's funny. I heard what she was saying, but I couldn't comprehend a single bit of it. All this time Hermione and I thought she was carrying a single baby. All this time we thought we were going to have one boy. But we were actually going to have -

"Draco, Hermione," Medi-nurse Olsen said clearly, "you're having _twins._"

I blanched again, but didn't faint this time. I said the first thing that came to my mind. "I knew it!"

Hermione looked at me like I was a maniac and said, "That wasn't what we bargained!"

"There's no time for this," Medi-nurse Olsen said quickly, "you're daughter seems to be quite in a hurry to get out, so we should get back to work."

"No! Wait! Medi-nurse Olsen - you - you - you implied during all our check-ups and visits that I was only having one child!"

"Oh, honestly," she said, "do you really expect me to keep track of all the babies my clients are going to have?"

"So you just happened to forget that I was going to have two kids?!"

"If you had just read the file completely..."

Hermione made a lunge out of the hospital bed to grab Medi-nurse Olsen. "You - you!"

"Hermione!" I said, holding her back. "Now's not the time for murder! Maybe later, _after_ you've had our kids, okay?"

"I agree with Draco," Medi-nurse Olsen said quickly, trying to avoid decapitation from a pregnant woman. "Your second child really is on the way now."

Hermione threw me a worried glance but I shrugged it off. We were having not one, but two children today - we were the luckiest parents in the world - plus, I didn't have to pay her five galleons. My life could not be any better. We would make room for this unexpected addition, no matter what.

"Come on, Hermione, you can do this," the flustered nurse said, "she's almost there..."

"Until five seconds ago I didn't even know she _was _there!" Hermione exclaimed through heaves.

"Just _push!_" the nurse said forcefully.

Hermione, in her pain, had the strength to be sarcastic. "Oh, yes, because that's so easy!"

"Just _push!_" Medi-nurse Olsen and I said in unison. Hermioine rolled her eyes at us and continued, doing a better job this time.

"I've got a head!"

"We've got a head!" I repeated.

"I see a stomach!"

"We see a stomach!"

"I've got her legs!"

"We've got her legs!

There was a pause in Medi-nurse Olsen's chant, and Hermione grunted/screeched/screamed/groaned all at once for the last time. Another cry filled the room.

"We've got a girl!"

I was elated. "We've got a girl!"

The child was immediately taken away from Medi-nurse Olsen's arms, and taken off to be with her brother - Hermione and I barely got a peek, but they made sure to pass her by us so we could get a look at our little surprise.

"Oh Merlin," Hermione said, once she waved farewell to our daughter. I held myself back from following her out. I wanted to see my babies.

"Twins," I said, still not believing it. "We have twins."

"Please don't tell me there's another on the way," Hermione said when Medi-nurse Olsen walked up to us.

"No," Medi-nurse Olsen laughed. She smiled lightly and put her hands on our shoulders. "You both did great. You're children are being cleaned right now, but once we're done taking down their informatioin we'll bring them straight to you. For now, you both rest."

I stood up. "But I want to see my babies."

"And you will - but you're both tired. Get some rest."

I looked down at my wife and saw that she was already half way to slumber. "Tell them I love them," she said dreamily. I sighed, and knew I had to be with my wife right now. "Okay."

"I sure will," the nurse said in response to Hermione. "Sleep tight."

She walked out of the room, and I settled myself into a chair beside Hermione's hospital bed. They'd levitate her into a new one later, and probably wake me up, so to save myself from the bother, I just watched her rest. After all, my girlfriend deserved it.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost half-passed six. I watched the time pass, and soon I was in dreamland as well. The place where I dreamt of Hermione, my boy and my girl all at once, and how much I loved them all. In that state, I was at peace.

I nodded. "That's the fourth time you've asked."

"Sorry," he murmured. "I just can't believe it."

I sat down with my baby boy in my hands and cradled him gently, and Hermione was on her hospital bed with the girl. Harry, Ron and Ginny flanked her, while Blaise stood by me. I laughed when the boy gurgled.

"He's pretty cute," Blaise said.

"_Pretty_ cute?" I asked.

"Hey, I called him pretty," Blaise defended.

"Well he's that and more." I cradled him for a moment then asked, "How is the rest of the school taking the news?"

"The same way they when they found out you got Hermione pregnant."

"So they're laughing in our faces?" I asked sarcastically.

"They're laughing in joy, mate, laughing in joy," he said instead. "They actually think it's pretty awesome. I don't blame them. These are Hogwarts resident twins. They're like our mascots for unity."

"Yeah, that's true. After all, they did unite Hermione and I."

"Blech," Blaise said. "What are their facts again?" he asked.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Potter approach, and he answered the question instead. "Five and a half pounds, 12 inches long, born June 22nd, at 6:08," I knew instantly he was describing the boy. "Five and a half pounds, 11 and a half inches long, born June 22nd at 6:18," he continued, going into detail about the girl. "I've memorized every statistic I can about these two. It amazes me that a runt like you had a part in making them." Potter laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"I hope you know that you're terribly lucky I'm allowing you to even come near them."

"I hope you know you're terribly lucky to have them, and that Ginny and Hermione bought mismatched clothes during her pregnancy, so you don't have to spend more money on clothes for the girl."

"And that I'm rich as hell, so it doesn't even matter," I said. "The only thing I'm glad about other than the birth of these two angels is that there's room enough in the house for the both of them."

"Look at the little guy," Blaise said out of the blue. "He's a young quidditch player in the making." He then looked across the room to where Hermione was breast feeding, and our girl was drinking up like a maniac. I smacked Blaise for looking at my girlfriend and he turned away.

"Switch," I called out after a while. I walked carefully over to Hermione, and handed over the boy, while I got the girl.

"Hello, baby girl," I greeted.

"Hello, baby boy," Hermione echoed.

"Why haven't you given them names, yet?" Ginny asked, after making goo-goo-ga-ga faces at the girl.

"We've been trying to figure that out for the last two days, but we can't decide on something," Hermione said.

"Let me make it easier for you," Ron said, "I allow you to name him Ronald."

I scoffed. "No thanks."

Hermione glared at me for saying that. "I'd like for you to name the girl, Draco," she said, instead of scolding me.

I was taken aback. "Why?"

"Because you knew all along we were going to have a girl, even when we thought we'd have just a boy. I feel stupid for not feeling her beautiful presence."

I nodded. "All right. And you'll name the boy?"

"Yes. This whole time I've been pondering boy names - I don't want that to go to waste."

"Any suggestions?" I asked her. I didn't want to displease her with what I named our child. She thought for a moment and I saw the light bulb go off on top of her head.

"If it's okay, have her first name start with a 'D,' and the middle name with an 'H,' so they compliment both of our names. I'll do the same with the boy, and that way, none of us are too mad. The last name is Malfoy."

I laughed. "Done."

"Privacy, please?" Hermione asked immediately.

Our friends kissed each child on the head and left reluctantly, but with the promise that they'd visit us again later for lunch.

"That's perfect," Hermione said. "We'll meet you in the Great Hall, okay? We'll have their names by then."

"So you won't be staying here?" Ron asked.

"No, we're checking out soon - once we figure out their names," I added.

"Well, I guess we'll see you then," Ginny said. "Make it a surprise!"

They all four began to walk out of our room, and I heard Blaise say, "I take it you like surprises, Red Head?"

"More specifically I like my foot up people's privates."

"Feisty."

I quickly got up from my seat without dropping my sweet baby girl and shut the door. The morning sun shone through a window in the room, and after Hermione found our designated places in the room to ponder, we quickly went to thinking for names of our beautiful twins.

**xxxxxx**

"Come on Draco, they're waiting for us," Hermione called.

"Hold on, little guy over here is slowing me down."

I was holding our son in my arms because he was getting fidgety in the stroller, but that didn't make any difference. Hermione had our girl in her seperate stroller (we had another which could hold the both of them), who was just fine, but the boy just didn't want to sit still.

"Put him back in the stroller and give him his pacifier."

I did as she instructed, and after a while, he was quiet. I sighed. "Imagine the trouble we'll have with them later on."

"Don't even go there," Hermione warned. She picked up her pace with the stroller and called me again. "Draco, come on."

I brought myself back up to her speed and was getting ready to enter the Great Hall. The doors were closed, and I could hear the buzz of people as students milled around during lunch time. I was about to open the door when Hermione paused, set aside her stroller and mine, and grabbed my robes softly.

"You won't be ashamed going in there with our children?"

"Are you kidding? With kids like this, I'm going to be Mister Popularity."

She kissed me softly. "Good."

Hermione was about to take the stroller up again when I stopped her. "What about you?"

She smiled. "You can just call me Miss Popularity."

I rolled my eyes and kissed her like she kissed me.

Quickly, I gathered up our son in my arms and Hermione did the same with the girl. After making sure they didn't wee or anything we both pushed open the doors of the Great Hall, and the sudden movement inside stopped. Arms were thrust up in the air, and a thunderous roar of, "Surprise!" filled the room.

"What the bloody hell?" I asked, taken aback.

"It's a surprise party!" Hermione shrieked. She loved them.

All around the Great Hall were the students of Hogwarts, each and every single one, and the Professors. I almost fainted with the sight of all the blue and pink streamers everywhere. All the house tables were gone, replaced by one large table with enough food to last each person the whole day, and large circular tables for people to site.

People were surrounded by the table, and there was a large cake in the middle of it. I hadn't had real food in days. I was about to rush up to it and grab myself a piece until I was ambushed by girls in red.

"Hermione!" said tons of Gryffindor girls. They enveloped her in a humongous group hug, and I watched in amusement as they began fussing over our child.

"We heard you had twins!"

"This must be the girl!"

"Isn't she adorable?"

"What's her name?"

A million things came out of their minds but that one question stood out from the rest of them. Hermione looked at me and smiled.

"Yeah, what are their names?" Blaise asked, walking up to us out of no where. I saw Ron and Harry with Hermione, and Ginny was holding our girl.

I punched him. "You never told me you were planning on doing this."

"You never told me you were planning on having kids."

"When did you guys decide to have this little get-together?"

"When did you guys decide on having twins?"

"Can you stop now?"

"We planned it really last minute when we found out you were leaving the hospital," Harry said instead, clasping a hand to my shoulder. "Congratulations on the birth of your unexpected twins."

I smiled. "Thanks."

"Sorry about the banners," Ron said. "We thought you were just having a boy and we only bought that one before the labour."

I looked up at the decorations and saw one banner hanging up from the ceiling. It said, "IT'S A BOY!" and with an arrow pointing farther to the right, in block letters, it said, "AND A GIRL!"

I laughed. "Where's Hermione?"

"Right here," she said, holding our baby askew, and rather breathless. "Can we tell them the names now?" Hermione said. "The girls won't leave me along till I tell them." Her eyes flitted sideways, and I saw them huddled in a group, looking at us with expectancy.

"Yeah, come on, give," Ginny said, one hand with a plate of cake. "And I'll give you this to you."

I licked my lips and said, "All right, everybody gather 'round!" I wanted that cake.

The whole school grouped themselves in a circle around us and I had to stop myself from getting claustrophobic. I always hated small spaces.

"If any of you are wondering about the names of our twins..." I announced. The whole place erupted in cheers.

"Yes we are!"

"What are they?" some people demanded.

I took a suspenseful breath. "Well, our son's name is Derek Hadrian Malfoy. Hermione picked it out. And he's the oldest." I picked him up proudly and held Derek up, introducing him to my world. Our world. "Say hello, baby boy." Derek gurgled, and the whole Great Hall was robbed of their breath.

"Hello, Derek," some people whispered. I smiled.

"All right, well, our girl - "

"Let me," Hermione hissed from beside me. I rolled my eyes and nodded in her direction, letting her have the floor.

"This is our baby girl - unexpected as she was, Draco always knew we'd have her, like I knew we'd have Derek - but because she was a surprise, I only love her even more. Guys, this is Drusilla. Drusilla Hera Malfoy - and she's Derek's little twin sister."

We got the same reactions, except this time, people swept them up in their arms and held them tightly. I freaked out about other people holding them but Hermione held my arm.

"Let them," she said. I nodded. Derek and Drusilla were becoming part of our world by the second, and I wouldn't want them anywhere else.

"Hot names," said Blaise, clapping his hands.

"Derek and Drusilla, eh?" Ron asked.

"Those are my kids," I confirmed. I stopped myself from mentioning beautiful, amazing, adorable kids. "My family."

We watched later on in amusement as people began playing with them and spoon feeding them with the baby food we brought in the strollers. Tons of my Slytherin mates congratulated me, which surprised Hermione, and even me. Even some of her Gryffindor friends told me I was going to be a great father.

"It seems we thought wrong about this whole situation," I said, as a mixed group of students from different houses walked away from Hermione and I after saying quick greetings.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

"I thought some people wouldn't accept your pregnancy and that I was the father. But here we are, being congratulated and loved. Things turned out better than I expected."

"It's because of Derek and Dru. New life is always something to be celebrated, even in odd circumstances." I nodded.

"Told you I was going to be Mister Popularity," I commented to her.

"I never said you wouldn't be," she said. "Besides, if you're Mister Popularity, I'm Miss Popularity, remember?"

We both looked around and saw that one of the first years was about to feed Drusilla cake but Hermione, having an eagle's eye, jumped up and ran over to stop the deed. I turned around to the boys, Blaise, Harry and Ron, who heard the last end of our conversation.

"I'm just telling you guys now, she's wrong."

"About being popular? Are you kidding? People are all over her."

We witnessed a whole bunch of her friends tackle her with hugs, Ginny included. If I didn't know any better, Ginny planned it. I laughed.

"No, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about her being a 'Miss.' "

Looks of confusion flashed on their faces for only a moment, but Harry and Ron caught on quickly.

"Are - are you sure?" Harry said urgently. "It's so fast!"

Blaise's eyebrow shot up. "What do you mean, mate? She's single, not married. That's what makes her a 'Miss,'" he said, ignoring what Harry had just said.

"Well she won't be a Miss for long," I hinted.

"Why not?" Blaise questioned. He tipped his cup to his lips to drink from his supposed bubble juice and drank.

I sighed and pointed to my pocket.

"There's a ring in their, you idiot."

Blaise spit out his juice and chuckled. "I always wondered about you..."

I rolled at my eyes about what he was implying. "It's for Hermione, not me!" I whispered in exasperation.

"Why in bloody hell would she need a ring?"

"To stuff it down your throat?" I suggested.

Blaise's forhead creased in confusion once again, but after five excruciating seconds, he caught on. A finger was being pointed at me. "You - you - will you - are you going to - "

Hermione was suddenly upon us again. "Whew," she said. "That was almost torture."

Their mouths immediately shut tight, and I blinked furiously hoping they wouldn't be obvious.

"What?" Hermione asked. "Is there something wrong with Derek or Drusilla?"

I gave a look for Harry, Ron and Blaise to go, which they did immediately. Hermione looked over at our kids, who were being passed on from Professor to Professor. "Oh, no, I see they're fine. Be careful!" she screeched, as Professor Trelawney tossed Derek up and down. "He could get sick!"

I snapped at Hermione and she faced me quickly. "What is it, Draco?"

I raised an eyebrow. This was it. My confidence was draining itself by the second, but I forced myself to continue.

"You look lost, love."

She tilted her head in confusion and looked at me curiously. "Do I?"

"Well, you did," I corrected. "A few months ago, you were lost," I stated.

Hermione's face softened, realizing what I was talking about, and she touched my cheek, caressing it. "I know. But I found my way... with a little help, of course."

"And I'm glad; and I'll help you find your way no matter what. Even when we're apart, I'll find a path to you."

"I know." Hermione laughed nervously. "Draco, I don't get it. Where is this going?"

"No, you truly don't know," I said quickly. "Hermione, I need you to know, that when you get lost, I'm going to push you in the right direction, the path that leads you straight to Derek, Drusilla and me." I paused and held her tightly. No longer was she the girl from yesterday. She was a woman now - one who would do anything for her children, anything in the world. And I would do the same.

"Don't you see, Hermione?" I asked her.

"See what, Draco?"

I sighed. "When you lose your way, I'll follow you."

She smiled. "I know you will. That's why I love you."

"I love you, too."

For some reason, the whole Great Hall quieted down, and some people began shushing, and pointing at us. From the corner of my eye, I could see Blaise whispering in people's ears, obviously telling them what I was going to do, but I didn't care. I wanted the whole world to witness this. They had to.

"Do you promise to always love, care, and be there for our kids?"

"Draco, you know I will."

"Good," I said. "Because I want my wife to be a good Mother to Derek and Drusilla."

She looked at me in a funny way. Like she had never seen me in this light before. Hermione touched my face and looked me in the eyes. I wasn't joking.

"Draco?" she asked.

I knelt.

I'm sure you can imagine what followed next.

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I, the Author and Owner of When You Lose Your Way, hereby announce;

_The End._

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Authors Notes: Omgosh, I'm crying! Ha, okay, I'm joking, I'm not, but I'm so sad this is over! I hope you guys aren't angry about the ending either, because even though it's the end, I still left you with a sort of cliff-hanger - but you all certainly know what Draco asked after he knelt, and what Hermione answered, right? It's no surprise! And I'm still contemplating whether or not I'll add a sequel chapter in the future (I personally don't want to), but it all depends if you guys want one.

And now, one more final disclaimer! Look below!

Disclaimer: I owe all of my chapter titles to these wonderful songs, the wonderful singers and the wonderful song writers who created them! So here's a very long list of them all! It goes in order of the Chapter Title, Song Title, and then Band/Artist, in order from Chapter 1. Enjoy!  
1. Help Me Pull Through - La La Lie, Jack's Mannequin  
2. Counting Up My Demons - Everything's Not Lost, Coldplay  
3. Closer To Wrong - Truth, Seether  
4. Worn Your Welcome - You Ain't the First, Guns N' Roses  
5. Pretend Everything Is - Lying From You, Linkin Park  
6. Choking On Your Alibis - Mr. Brightside, The Killers  
7. The One That Takes You - Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve  
8. Between A Bullet And A Target - Bullet And A Target, Citizen Cope  
9. Colour Me Stunned - Underwater, Death Cab for Cutie  
10. And They Look On - Standing All Alone, Not By Choice  
11. A Trip To The Ladies Room In Vain - There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You 12. Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet, Panic! At the Disco  
13. My Very First Mistake - Jealousy, Queen  
14. When The Worrying Starts to Hurt - Shut Your Eyes, Snow Patrol  
15. Smile For The Morning Light - A Little's Enough, Angels & Airwaves  
16. The Solution And The Problem - No Longer Now, Sense Field  
17. First You Hate to Love - Angels & Girlfriends, Five for Fighting  
18. The Sun Will Fill The Sky - Boy, Our Lady Peace  
19. Our Seperate Ways - If You Leave, Nada Surf  
20. I Will Follow - Lose Your Way, Sophie B. Hawkins

Thank you so much for everyone's continuous support in this story and much love to all the reviewers and readers alike! You all are seriously amazing. You made writing this story ten times more fun!

I'll be roaming :

Yours truly,  
Sevengee/Lina.


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